[superdog]

Hi, just interested how long h's or w's have been in escape and avoid or replay. Maybe by type would be good to know. Its interesting to see.

My h is low energy wallower with lots of overt depression throughout but can come in and out with ecape + avoid behaviour. Has monster outbursts.

3 years and is just moving out now.

Will stand a little bit longer and see.

Sd x

[I believe in angels]

Hi 3 years seems to be a common theme for some movement that I have read here and from what I have heard from others.

My h has been in replay, ie BD 21 months although I think he was depressed and withdrawn a good 8 months previous if not longer. I can't believe I have to go at least another year before he starts even to come out of this process. I am seeing no monster lately and I will ignore it anyway. Only just got him to hear him say that he wants to give maintenance to the boys which is new but he is still selfish in lots of other ways.

I still am trying to get on with my life and it is hard and I'm sure one day I will look back and thank him as this time is making me stronger, at the moment he gets no thanks of mine. X

[wondering]

H is coming out of Replay and we are Reconnecting. It has been 22 months. It is a little short in the Replay range but may be due to his age.....65.  Replay as in heavy drinking started several months before BD.

[c3po]

Four months since BD and the day he left me. However he had been cycling down with depression, anxiety and low self esteem since maybe the previous fall. I am still devastated and worry that he may never come out of it if he doesn't deal with his mental health issues. Definitely in replay as he is running...literally. He is on to his third destination in 4 months.

[TrustingMyHP]

Hmmm, not quite sure.  BD was 17 months ago and my H immediately moved out and began living with OW.  That's still the sitch.

However, he had been in an EA and then PA with her for 18 months prior to BD.  Soooo, I guess the "official" number is 17 months but, in reality, he's been having an affair with OW for over three years.

We're very dim, no signs of movement.  It's the middle I guess.  And that's assuming he ever comes out!

TMHP

[calamity]

Hi,  I think strict replay, as in affair, seems to last about 2 years.  That is based on what I know from other couples NOT on my web research or anything.  Probably with affair replay, it is the time it takes for the 'gild to wear off the lily'--the newness & excitement of a new 'love' passes in 2 years. 
For me bomb drop was a year ago, he moved out to apartment 7 months ago & I think moved in with OW 3 months ago [not sure of that & I'm not asking--that is one of my boundaries:  I don't want to know anything about her or their life together].
My h started to be bitter and grumpy about 5 years ago now that I look back on it.
For what it is worth.  I am still groping in the dark for answers.

[LoveMeMyself]

I'm at the 32 month mark since BD..........approaching the 3rd year of this mess.  My exH was high energy for the first 6 to 8 months.  Went through two OW's fairly quick. There doesn't seem to be another one but then again I don't know for sure.  He spiraled out of control for the first year and a half........or so.  Failed suicide attempt in the 21st month.  He's been through lots of therapy and on AD's.  Recently, he had another severe bout of depression, went to his doctor and put back on the AD's.  Doesn't seem to be as bad as earlier on even though he is still adamant about not returning or trying to reconnect........even though at times he has made contact.......ever so briefly.  He is dealing with the backlash of the financial damage he caused..........nearly in financial ruin. Owes more than he ever has......struggles with this daily.  Last email from him he expressed his lack of enjoyment in anything.......can't shake his depression no matter how hard he tries.

[Anjae]

Not sure about the type... Mine started as clinging boomerang, then boomerang and become a vanisher about 4 years ago.

5.8 years since BD. Weird behaviour started late 2005 early 2006. Become much worst in Summer 2006.

[brokenhearted]

My partner dropped the first bomb (we are done, was was never coming back to me) 20 months ago. Found out about the ow 14 months ago.  Seems to be getting darker, no contact at all.  If I look back, he started hanging off the edge of the bed a LONG time ago, years before official bomb drop.  Could never get him to explain what was wrong, really hurt, destroyed my self esteem..

[trusting]

I have a low energy wallower.  He is 38+ months post BD, with definite replay activities beginning several months before then. I have recently seen an increase in replay behaviors again.  It seems to me he has had to increase his activity to avoid thinking.