[kikki]

Nothing to disagree with here.  I think that we, lbs's are trying to explain the inexplicable: a major personality change in your spouse is difficult to accept.

I am holding on to the theory that,
1. if he doesn't want me, he's crazy.  &
2. we are not crazy they are.

Just kidding.  Kinda.
cj

Wish we had like buttons 

Me too 

[FindingJoJo]

Wish we had like buttons 

me too!

[kikki]

I saw a new therapist yesterday.  He went straight to dissociative disorders for my H.

The recent therapist that we saw together thought attachment disorder was one of the major difficulties.
This one has a different theory.  From the little I have read about it, it does make sense.  But then again, so many different parts of different theories do.  It is confusing! 

http://www.strangerinthemirror.com/dissociative.html

http://www.isst-d.org/education/faq-dissociation.htm

Okay - less confusing.  I found this below, describing a possible linke between lack of early attachment and dissociation.


Even people who don't have a trauma history, one that is filled with physical or sexual abuse, can develop a dissociative disorder. The origins of this are speculative, and at the same time there is a very strong and sophisticated literature in the field of infant attachment studies that points clearly to a pattern of attachment called Type D attachment as predicting adult dissociation. Additional work by Karlen Lyons-Ruth shows that adult dissociation is best predicted by the "hidden trauma" of emotional abuse vs. physical/sexual abuse in a ratio of 2:1. There is a lot of evidence that people can develop complex dissociative disorders from what has recently been called developmental trauma.

Some people are frightened of the word dissociative. They believe that if someone has a dissociative disorder that means that a person must have a severe trauma history. Sometimes that’s true, and sometimes that is not true. A person can develop a dissociative disorder just from life’s circumstances. Some studies have suggested that growing up in a family where a parent is frightened, frightening, or severely grieving/depressed during a child’s first years may be enough to generate the organization of mind that relies more heavily on dissociative adaptations to get through the day.

[Ready2Transform]

Thank you for this! That was one of the things my H actually said just prior to BD - "I don't know why I'm dissociating."  He had a look of sheer terror on his face.  That was scarier than Monster ever was.

[kikki]

How interesting that he even knew to call it that?  Or do you think it was an intuitive response from him?

Mine said 'he no longer knew who he was any more'  He was also petrified.
In fact - that was his reasoning behind the OW - she made him 'feel safe'.   

[FindingJoJo]

How interesting that he even knew to call it that?  Or do you think it was an intuitive response from him?

Mine said 'he no longer knew who he was any more'  He was also petrified.
In fact - that was his reasoning behind the OW - she made him 'feel safe'.

Oh man I hear that "I no longer know who I am anymore" too.  He is petrified, he is afraid to face me he tells others.  I am such a meanie.

[kikki]

Oh man I hear that "I no longer know who I am anymore" too.  He is petrified, he is afraid to face me he tells others.  I am such a meanie.

Then of course - this all could fit with emotional detachment, lack of empathy, blaming of the spouse/life that happens with severe depression, and very  low serotonin levels.
Plus RCR has mentioned the lack of identity is due to a psychosocial moratorium.  Something that teens go through.  They don't know who they are, so they try on different identities. She believes MLCers go through the same thing.

So - who would know really. 

[Ready2Transform]

How interesting that he even knew to call it that?  Or do you think it was an intuitive response from him?

Oh, I knew he was way too familiar with the concept, but my real signal that something was wrong was when he couldn't elaborate more on it, and instead became 'different' again. 

My H comes from a family of mental illness and was scared to death of it (I think you mentioned your H having that same fear).  One uncle in particular lived with his grandparents until they died.  He now lives in a tent that some people let him pitch on their property alongside the highway, so the trash truck can pick him up for work (another aunt's husband got him the job).  When my H was a teen he told the story of his uncle maniacally laughing one day.  Someone asked him what was so funny and he said, "I just told myself a joke that I hadn't heard before."  He was serious.  That just never left my H.

He was always a reader and self-development guy - 180 indeed.  I think he probably went deeper in the rabbit hole to avoid the distinct awareness he was really having of what was happening.  He was so relieved at the beginning of 2010 to have decided to seek treatment for this "thing" that was happening to him, but the Bipolar diagnosis threw him HARD.  It was like the beginning of the end for him.   That was from his M.D. who put him on anti-psychotics right away ().  He found a psychiatrist from there that took him off of those and put him on SSRIs out the wazoo.  That was our "turning point" where statements of "maybe we won't be together forever" out of depression turned into Monster and then some.

Honestly, I'm relieved that it's MLC (and I have no doubts it is - he is on script like he was the one who wrote it!).  It really could be much worse.

[kikki]

Honestly, I'm relieved that it's MLC (and I have no doubts it is - he is on script like he was the one who wrote it!).  It really could be much worse.

My H is the same.  Bang on script.
And yes, he is the same as your H.  Petrified of his family history of mental illness.  And most therapists have mentioned bipolar as well. 
I guess there are just so many crossovers with all of these things - it is incredibly confusing, even for the 'experts'.

[Ready2Transform]

Y'know, even if it were a "recognized" disorder, if I were a psychiatrist, I think I'd still be hesitant to give someone an MLC diagnosis.  I feel like I would have to err on the side of this being permanent rather than tell a patient that they just need to go through the process to come out the other side.  We *know* them so intimately that we can see the 180 difference, but there would be no way for a stranger to gauge it, I think.  It's so frustrating...sad...but again, if we weren't going through it...fascinating.