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Author Topic: MLC Monster MLC for dummies

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MLC Monster Re: MIDLIFE CRISIS for DUMMIES
#10: September 22, 2013, 01:05:58 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIOOS0fMOLE

When the girls and I went through the first BD three years ago someone put this on the forum. My D20 ( 17 at the time) said " Mom are those the horses REAL names???"

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
t
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Re: MIDLIFE CRISIS for DUMMIES
#11: September 22, 2013, 01:36:47 PM
That's brilliant!
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MLC for Dummies - Tips, Tricks, and Total Fails
#12: November 04, 2013, 08:53:54 PM
Well, after feeling today that I need some kind of Psychology for Dummies book to try and help me understand certain aspects of MLC, i.e. Ego, Shadow, etc., I thought maybe we could make up a thread for dealing with MLC Do's and Don'ts, as experienced by us here on the board.  Could be used by some as a source of reference, and a way to show what has and hasn't worked, while all the time remembering that what is good for one situation, might not work for another. 

We are all at different stages, and yet are similar in so many ways.  We can take RCRs information, as well as the many wonderful suggestions and advice given by board members, and take from it what we need as we go on our journey, with (or without) our MLCers.  An example being Stayed's elastic band technique, and the ever important need to detach. 
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« Last Edit: November 04, 2013, 08:58:10 PM by Snowdrop »
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

Albert Einstein
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Re: MLC for Dummies - Tips, Tricks, and Total Fails
#13: November 04, 2013, 08:56:56 PM
Well, my two pence worth to start, is to not spend a single minute wondering what they are doing, what they are thinking about, or where they are in the tunnel.  It is a waste of time and energy, and will get you absolutely nowhere. 
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« Last Edit: November 04, 2013, 08:59:12 PM by Snowdrop »
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

Albert Einstein
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Re: MLC for Dummies - Tips, Tricks, and Total Fails
#14: November 05, 2013, 02:26:26 AM
Although I know NC not recommended in the early days of this but when the abuse and spewing and harassment starts... stop communicating with them.

Their total lack of empathy and mistreatment are NOTHING we need.

Disrespect should not be tolerated. Some of us don't even recognize it in the dynamics of a relationship.

We need to focus on our own self esteem. Just my 2 cents
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
L
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Re: MLC for Dummies - Tips, Tricks, and Total Fails
#15: November 05, 2013, 04:41:45 AM
Simple tip.

Don’t feed the monster – It doesn’t cure the illness, but it will ease the symptoms.


Lanzo

(File that next to NC)
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We survive, Life really does go on
B
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Re: MLC for Dummies - Tips, Tricks, and Total Fails
#16: November 05, 2013, 05:51:16 AM
If there is a OM/OW:

-Go NC
-Call a Lawyer, get legal advice
-Inform family, friends, and the om/ow's spouse of the affair
-File for divorce
-Get a life

Get on with your own life and let them go, and if 3-7 years they come round you'llbe able to deal with it rationally and from a position of strength.
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Re: MLC for Dummies - Tips, Tricks, and Total Fails
#17: November 05, 2013, 06:02:36 AM
I agree with the telling friends and family thing that's for sure. The stuff that is hidden needs to come out in the DAYLIGHT!
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
S
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  • Posts: 1889
  • Gender: Female
Re: MLC for Dummies - Tips, Tricks, and Total Fails
#18: November 05, 2013, 07:15:50 AM
Be aware that they change, and in some cases, tremendously, and their treatment towards you, which can be so cruel, is jaw dropping.  Add to that, just when you think they can't get any worse or do anything else, they will.
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Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

Albert Einstein
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Re: MLC for Dummies - Tips, Tricks, and Total Fails
#19: November 05, 2013, 07:47:38 AM
Tell your children the truth about why the MLCer is leaving (age appropriately) Don't let the children or anyone else think it is a mutual decision if its not.

Don't expect the in-laws to be supportive of you, they often support their son/daughter even though they think what he/she is doing is wrong. Family.

Don't leave your home … if anyone moves out it is the MLCer.

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