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Author Topic: MLC Monster Emotional detachment, silence and no replies

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MLC Monster Re: Emotional detachment, silence and no replies
#10: July 01, 2012, 08:44:04 PM
Does this get you as frustrated as it does me?

Absolutely.  I gave mine the divorce that she wanted, she destroyed our savings, and we will be selling our home...  We have two kids to care for, and she doesn't respond to texts.  and ignores me when I come to the door.

If absolutely necessary she responds 'ok'.  It's so frustrating when we have business to take care of...  I'm not looking for an R, or to talk about our relationship...  but we still have kids, and a house to sell...  and assets to split. 

I told her that whenever I ask her anything, and there is no response, it will mean YES.  I'm sure that pisses her off...  No change in my mlc'er for 18 months.

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Re: Emotional detachment, silence and no replies
#11: July 01, 2012, 08:50:29 PM
No change in my mlc'er for 18 months.

From RCR's article Being Number One

I know, two years feels like an eternity, but in MLC it's merely the end of the beginning.
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Re: Emotional detachment, silence and no replies
#12: July 01, 2012, 09:19:14 PM
MLC hurts the whole family. It's a family dis-ease.   We are all impacted.

This is profound.  MLC is a dis-ease of the whole family as the entire dynamic is thrown into chaos.  I know you're pretty new here, but I have never seen it put so directly and clearly.  Perhaps in the future we may look at this in this way rather than something our spouses are going through alone.
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Thundarr

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Re: Emotional detachment, silence and no replies
#13: July 01, 2012, 09:31:30 PM
Mine won't even sign the dang tax paper I sent up to him and mail it back to the accountant so I had to go ahead and file married but filing separate and it cost me more money.  He won't get a phone of his own because he wants to save money not spend it on a phone bill - he figures my pride will prevent me from calling OW's phone but when it is serious enough I think I could gather the courage to call and hang up until he answers......lol.  yeah still chicken but I refuse to engage with her as I talked with her once and she apologized for her actions to me said she would step out of it and then turned around and facebooked him I got your back babe.  I really, really abhor liars.

Lucky for us our account takes care of everything, we don't need to sign. Mine has a phone of his own since a few months prior to BD (he has never had one before). I could not call OW even if I wanted. Only become aware of OW1 phone years after she was no more and I have no idea what OW2 number is. Still, I don't have any interest in talking to OW. Husband and I are not on each other Facebook. SIL is on mine but OW2 keeps quiet there for the most part. No "Got you back babe" or any similar thing.

MLC hurts the whole family. It's a family dis-ease.   We are all impacted.

This is profound.  MLC is a dis-ease of the whole family as the entire dynamic is thrown into chaos.  I know you're pretty new here, but I have never seen it put so directly and clearly.  Perhaps in the future we may look at this in this way rather than something our spouses are going through alone.

Think for most, specially the ones with kids, MLC is a family dis-ease and it hits both the MLCer and the LBS families. In my case only my family had been hit, having me back and having to provide and help while husband has fun. I tend to say husband’s MLC is a test to my family more than one to me. Thundarr, in my view they are going through it alone. What they do is cause chaos, pain and hurt to a lot of people. We and our families are not going through it along with them.
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Re: Emotional detachment, silence and no replies
#14: July 02, 2012, 12:40:49 AM
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=961.0

Thank you everyone for sharing.  Thought I would post the link from the first time I asked the same question.

It drives me nuts, and it's a short trip these days. 

I will respond the personal inquiries via email or PM's.  Thank you for caring enough to ask about me.

Laying low FTT, nothing personal.
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Re: Emotional detachment, silence and no replies
#15: July 02, 2012, 01:53:38 AM
Tsunami,
Thank you for posting the link to the first time you asked the question.  There was a lot of good information there. I especially like the male sunburn analogy.  It makes sense, they are so sensitive that they withdraw and can't come around until they heal and being touched emotionally doesn't hurt so much.   

The emotional detachment is hard and I don't understand it either.  It is not easy to care so much about someone and they can just shut you out like a stranger.  I have to think that the further away my H is from me and the more shut down he is from me, the deeper he is in the tunnel.  So I have to assume when he starts to come closer and have more contact then he is moving in the tunnel.  Sometimes I think he will be stuck forever.  Also, I think it gives them time to work on them without outside interference.  I am giving him space and not contacting because the last thing I want to do is add time to this journey or have him stall and not move forward. 

Quote
It drives me nuts, and it's a short trip these days
There's that sense of humor. :D

Tsunami, hang in there believe me you are not alone.
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Re: Emotional detachment, silence and no replies
#16: July 02, 2012, 09:45:58 AM

Lucky for us our account takes care of everything, we don't need to sign. Mine has a phone of his own since a few months prior to BD (he has never had one before). I could not call OW even if I wanted. Only become aware of OW1 phone years after she was no more and I have no idea what OW2 number is. Still, I don't have any interest in talking to OW. Husband and I are not on each other Facebook. SIL is on mine but OW2 keeps quiet there for the most part. No "Got you back babe" or any similar thing.


Our accountant did it as well, but he needs to sign the paper giving him the proper authorizations to do it on his behalf, he stalled and stalled so I just filed married but filing separately and did it late because of his in action - now guess who he blames for it not being done. 
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http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=6740.0

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