[kikki]

Did you read that neurotransmitter article that AnneJ posted a while back?   Explained what happened as Serotonin levels decrease more and more, and the bottom of the barrel was suicidal thoughts. 
(Escape and run away from family and have an affair was one up from there).

http://www.drjoecarver.com/clients/49355/File/Chemical%20Imbalance.html

I too would think that male MLCers would account for an enormous volume of the suicides in the middle years.

What makes you think it's easier for a female LBS to find a mate T? 
The only people who have really approached me seriously since my H left, have been married men still living at home with their wives.    
Maybe it's easier for female LBS who have no self esteem or morals? 

[Gallagher]

That article is fascinating.  My H has struggled with anxiety our entire marriage.  He has been on medication for as long as I have known him.

When he was deep in replay he said that he had negative tapes that kept repeating over and over.  He has a strange cleaning rituals.  When our 3rd son was conceived and he thought I did it on purpose against his wishes, he said he was so angry he thought about going to Home Depot and killing someone.  This is a new angle for me to process.  He is chemically imbalanced.  Hence the depression enabling affair.

I've always wondered if I would have turned down his request to work on us, what would things be like for him now?  I suspect, not pretty.

Thank you for including the link.  I'm bringing it to IC on Tuesday.

[Anjae]

Add to the low serotonin low oxytocin (the love hormone and another of the neurotransmitters), high adrenaline and we’re dealing with extremely depressed and confused people with their brain chemicals running both on the upper top and upper lower levels. Here is an article about what oxytocin does: http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2012/jul/15/interview-dr-love-paul-zak

Yes, Thundarr, what makes you think it is easier for a female LBS to find someone? It is easy if we want lightness and fun. I’ve dated a lot when I was still going out and about. And, yes, at a point there was someone but I was still legally married. Now time has passed, lots of family issues come by and I’m not seeing anyone waiting outside the door… but… And, yes, Kikki, married men with a wife at home approach but who wants them?...

[readytofixmyselffirst]

I agree with the others. If 3/4 of the those going through the crisis are men, then most are going through the crisis. Remember that women are more likely to contemplate and attempt suicide, but men attempt and use more effective measures.

Also, I think that divorce is one of the factors that leads to suicide but is not the only one. Most people who reach that point feel and I emphasize the word feel that they are cut off from everything- job, kids, and spouse. This leaves them feeling that there is no purpose in life.

They focus only on the negatives and this only elevates the depression and sense of loss. That is why we talk about getting a life, about finding happiness within, applying our problem solving skills to issues that we do have control over, and working on ourselves.

That helps bring meaning to our situations and helps us move forward.

(((((hugs))))