Hi Brokenhearted here, haven't posted much, have a vanisher. I was doing good about giving him time and space. NC.
2 years since bomb drop, litle over a year, knowing about ow. I often see the ow in the local paper for being a keynote speaker at some local event. Monday I open the paper and see her with what looks like an engagement ring on her finger. I am shocked,hurt, like getting BD all over again.
Calm down some, but stil feeeling guttted. Then find out his niece was married a couple of weeks ago. Went on facebook to see photos of his niece (who has been part of my life for 17 years), feeling sad not to be considered part of that family I loved anymore. With the photos I see she has posted "2nd big wedding!!!!) I still naive, am wondering who else got married. Then I remember the picture of ow with ring. It can't be...I admit to driving to where he was living...there is no car...his belongings, furniture are all pretty much moved out...where is he...at her house, moved in I assume...Nt an engagement ring, a wedding ring.
I don't know how I feel, so hurt, sobad, that I am numb. I believe he has married the ow
from the info on his niece's website.
Heer is who she is, a 48 year old woman, highly successful in her career and held in high regard for her community involvement. Never married, has lived with her 70 year old mother. My partner, 60 years old, this woman was one of his students years ago. He is now married to the ow, 13 years younger than him, now living as a married couple with the 70 year old mother, closer in age to him, than her daughter. (His mother passed away several years ago, devasted him).
I can't believe the spead of this, we were together 17 years, stood together through the death of his mother, both his sisters, his three heart surgeries, his father's car accident and subsiquent brain damage, my brother's two by passses, my dad's broken neck and hip and congestive hear failure. so much sadnesss, it was hard to have energy, to have fun. Now he has found fun with the ow.
How is it possible with all the years we had, the sadness we had been through, so much life we had been through, how do you just leave like I and my family who loved him so much are dirt, we don't exist to him anymore. Then he meets the ow, his soulmate who has just happened to live around the corner all these years,(!) and in less than a year, about a year he is in love with this woman enough to propose, to marry her. She knows nothing but lies he has probably told her, nothingof his family, what we have been through together.
How does this happen so fast to walk away from 17 years, and be in love with your soulmate and married in a year!!!!
I have to not be strong and be honest for a minute...I feel like a failure, unable to make this man happy, that I was sooo bad that I drove him running to this ow and a new life with her. Plus the most painful fact, he did not marry me, 17 years, we had each been married before,no formal wedding but were totally committed to each other I thought. Totally committed. Yet in less than a year he can sudenly make the legal committment to a almost stanger if you compare what we have been through together and the short time they have known each other. What was the rush? I feel humiliated, like people pity me , like poor brokenhearted, all those years together, no formal committment, but wham, he found true love and could commit to ow for life in just months.
I don't know what to do. For him to make this committment he must be so in love...it is shocking to me and honestly I feel devasted.
I feel like our past must have been a lie, we had great moments, but moments, arguments I regret now. Times I know I didn't appreciate the good man I believed he was.
He is married, never even cared enough to let me know. I am gone from his mind and heart.
He must be so in love and happy. Guess it is really over...
Author
Topic: 
Ask the Mentor.....2