[31andcounting]

thank you Stillpraying, exactly what I needed this morning
31andcounting

[Songanddance]

This isn't just a problem for the unfaithful spouse. Dreams of the future for the betrayed spouse aren't simply rewritten, they are shattered. The impact of the betrayal causes them to question their past, their judgement, their image of the person they married, their present and their future. The devastation of infidelity isn't their only barrier; they've also lost their vision of how life was going to be. The same hopelessness demoralizes both partners leaving both grasping for shared dreams that could energize their life together.

Thanks SP - this sums me up at the moment and I'm nowhere near re-connecting but this voices my current thoughts when I have down times. 

Good link and excellent questions which we LBSers should at least address the ones about ourselves now and then a bit further down the road to see how much we have grown.

Thanks xx

[calamity]

On 'happiness'  .

http://www.ted.com/talks/daniel_kahneman_the_riddle_of_experience_vs_memory

[Songanddance]

This has to be the best podcast yet and is so good for newbies.
Dr Lee Baucom has done it again and summed up what we learn on this forum and website articles.
Listen and learn.

http://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/2014/05/trick-to-saving-your-marriage-save-podcast/

[Searching4Answers]

This has to be the best podcast yet and is so good for newbies.
Dr Lee Baucom has done it again and summed up what we learn on this forum and website articles.
Listen and learn.

http://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/2014/05/trick-to-saving-your-marriage-save-podcast/

That was worth listening to - thanks

[31andcounting]

Love that site!!! I listen all the time.
Thanks for sharing.
31

[Songanddance]

Me too. In fact I have put every recording onto my little Dictaphone which is my aide de memoire as I am at that stage of a woman's life where memory is  not my strongest point....(tee hee)

My I pod has a volume problem so my little D and I go everywhere. That means that I can pick on any podcast and listen to it again and again. Interestingly I usually end up picking at random a podcast that is so applicable to my state of mind at that very moment.

God moves in mysterious ways!!!

[Songanddance]

Just been sent this little clip on FB by my niece!!

How determined are you to win your race??? What would you do when life trips you up?
http://www.godfruits.com/2208/runner-falls-during-the-race-of-her-life-then-gets-up-and-shocks-the-crowd.php

[Songanddance]

As quite a few of the posts are about victim/rescuer mode that we find ourselves in - have a little look at this link and download this absolutely brilliant little book.
You can kindle it or put it on your kindle app on a computer or laptop or smart phone I guess.

It is really one of the best shortest reads on what the victim/rescuer/persecutor cycle is - how to get off it and how to avoid getting back onto it. Excellent tips on being able to step back and observe too.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Drama-Triangle-Transactional-Analysis-Chunks-ebook/dp/B00AXKGHZY/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1401270838&sr=1-1&keywords=the+drama+triangle

[Songanddance]

As we all know, MLC hurts the LBS like mad and the affair is possibly the most painful and destructive aspect of it.

I do like listening to Lee Baucom's podcasts and he has issued a couple of podcasts on midlife marriage crisis.

However - lately I have been listening again to the two podcasts below. I chose to listen to them again as I have been struggling (18 months in now) with the affair and just doing a bit of cycling with my own negative thoughts. It is normal but I found these two podcasts have put me back on track. 

The first podcast is about the LBS having to deal with the affair and the second is aimed at the spouse who commits the affair. Very interesting about 10  minutes in talking about reality and then at the end about accountability.

Newbies - please listen to them to understand that the affair is not your fault nor is it "real life"  but please realise that the affair is part of the MLC and my only reason for putting this on is to help you understand that affairs are temporary (in relative terms) and indicative of a much deeper problem - in this case MLC.

If you are new in - then trying to utilise Lee B's suggestions for post affair actions are not helpful just yet. Just listen.

http://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/2013/11/dealing-emotional-physical-affairs-podcast/

http://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/2013/12/you-had-an-affair-how-to-recover-save-your-marriage-podcast/