[StillStanding]

I used to forward interesting things to the Prayer Circle forum on another divorce forum, but I got out of the habit when they were less relevant to people's situations.

Since I received this one yesterday, I figured it was appropriate to share...
How to overcome discouragement
by Rick Warren
Then the people of Judah said, "The work crews are worn out, and there is too much rubble. We can't continue to rebuild the wall." Nehemiah 4:10 (GWT)

Discouragement is curable. Whenever I get discouraged, I head straight to Nehemiah. This great leader of ancient Israel understood there were four reasons for discouragement.

First, you get fatigued -- You simply get tired as the laborers did in Nehemiah 4:10. We're human beings and we wear out. You cannot burn the candle at both ends. So if you're discouraged, it may be you don't have to change anything. You just need a vacation! Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed.

Second, you get frustrated -- Nehemiah says there was rubble all around, so much that it was getting in the way of rebuilding the wall. Do you have rubble in your life? Have you noticed that anytime you start doing something new, the trash starts piling up?

If you don't clean it out periodically, it's going to stop your progress. You can't avoid it, so you need to learn to recognize it and dispose of it quickly so you don't lose focus on your original intention.

What is the rubble in your life? I think rubble is the trivial things that waste your time and energy and prevent you from accomplishing what God has called you to do.

Third, you think you've failed -- Nehemiah's people were unable to finish their task as quickly as originally planned and, as a result, their confidence collapsed. They were thinking, "We were stupid to think we could ever rebuild this wall."

But you know what I do when I don't reach a goal on time? I just set a new goal. I don't give up. Everybody fails. Everybody does foolish things. So the issue is not that you failed - it's how you respond to your failure.

Do you give in to self-pity? Do you start blaming other people? Do you start complaining that it's impossible? Or, do you refocus on God's intentions and start moving again?

Finally, when you give in to fear, you get discouraged -- Nehemiah 4 suggests the people most affected by fear are those who hang around negative people. If you're going to control the negative thoughts in your life, you've got to get away from negative people as much as you can.

Maybe you're discouraged because of fear. You're dealing with fears like, "I can't handle this. It's too much responsibility." Maybe it's the fear that you don't deserve it. It's the fear of criticism. Fear will destroy your life if you let it. But you can choose to resist the discouragement. Say, "God help me get my eyes off the problem - off the circumstance - and keep my eyes on you."

[Courageous wife]

Thanks for posting this SS..

I always tried to read the other one you started "over there"...

Always seems like the right words at the right time!

[StillStanding]

Give God your hurts
by Rick Warren
If you forgive others the wrongs they have done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done. Matthew 6:14-15 (TEV)

In your life, you will be hurt by others; sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally. How you handle that hurt determines your happiness. When you bottle up hurt in your life and hold onto it - that's called resentment. If somebody hurt you years ago and you're still holding onto it, it will poison your life. For your own health and happiness, you must learn to forgive.               

The Bible says forgive and be forgiven. In fact, Jesus says "if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done" (Matthew 6:15 TEV). They're inter-related. It reminds me of the story where someone told John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, "I just can't forgive that person! They hurt me too badly." Wesley's response was, "Then I hope you never sin."

For your own sake, let go of the past. If somebody hurt you, let go of it, release them. That's one of the values of prayer. It helps you unload. Forgiveness is the only way to get rid of the past. Forgive them and let it go. Get on with life. Forgiveness erases the videotape of that hurt memory that keeps playing over and over in your mind.

When we let go of our hurts and forgive others, we are reflecting the grace of our heavenly Father who forgave us and continues to forgive us. It means we've given God our love; we've given God our lives; and, in doing that, we worship God.

[StillStanding]

Jesus understands your fears and temptations
by Rick Warren

Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let's not let it slip through our fingers. We don't have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let's walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help. Hebrews 4:14-16 (MSG)

I have two questions for you today:

• In what area do you need self-control? What is out of control in your life?
• What scares you the most? The fear of failure? The fear of bad health? The fear of a divorce? The fear of rejection? The fear of the future?
  

Jesus says these things are prayer material, the things you ought to be talking to the Lord about. The areas where you're most tempted, you ought to be praying about. The areas that scare you to death, you ought to be praying about.

Jesus understands our fears and temptations; the Bible says he was tempted in all the same ways we are, but he did not sin.

The Bible says Jesus came to earth; he walked around for thirty-three years; and he experienced every temptation known to man, the same ones we experience. It is not a sin to be tempted; the sin is to give in to temptation.

The Bible says Jesus experienced the greatest temptations ever, yet, he didn't give in.  But that also means when you pray, "I'm struggling in this area. I'm just not making it here. I keep stumbling. I keep falling," Jesus understands because Jesus has been there. He knows what it's like. He knows what it's like to want to be depressed, to want to be angry, and to want to lash back. He knows what it's like to be misunderstood and to be lonely.

Because Jesus "understands every weakness of ours" (Hebrews 4:15 CEV) the Bible says we can have "confidence, then, and approach God's throne, where there is grace. There we will receive mercy and find grace to help us just when we need it" (Hebrews 4:16 TEV).

[StillStanding]

God Says You Are Valuable
by Rick Warren

You have been bought and paid for by Christ, so you belong to him—be free now from all these earthly prides and fears. 1 Corinthians 7:23 (TLB)

God says not only are you accepted; you're valuable.

How much do you think you're worth?  I'm not talking about your net worth; I'm talking about your self worth.  Don't ever confuse your valuables with your value as a person.  You can be rich or poor but it has nothing to do with your value as a person.

What determines value?  There are two things that determine value in life:

1 - It depends on what someone is willing to pay for it. How much is your house worth?  Not as much as you think it is, and probably not as much as it was a year ago.  Your house is worth what somebody is willing to pay for it.  No more.

How much is a baseball card worth?  To some of you, it's worth nothing.  To Matthew, my son, it's worth a lot of money.  Some people are willing to pay $10,000 for a baseball card.

How much is a piece of art worth?  Whatever someone is willing to pay for it.

2 - It depends on who owned it in the past. Sometimes something is valuable because of who used to own it.  For example, would a car owned by Elvis Presley be more valuable than a car you owned?  Probably. Or, would a guitar be more valuable because it was owned by John Lennon?  I read about a pair of stinky, smelly, worn out basketball shoes that sold for $7,000 at an auction because they happened to be owned by someone named Michael Jordan.

Based on these two things, what's your value?  Ask yourself, ‘Who owns me?’ ‘What was paid for me?’ The Bible says, “You have been bought and paid for by Christ, so you belong to him—be free now from all these earthly prides and fears.” (1 Corinthians 7:23 TLB)

You have been bought and paid for by Christ. You belong to Jesus. How much does that make you worth?

Now ask yourself, ‘Who do I belong to?’ The Bible says you belong to God. God exchanged His own Son for you!  The Cross proves your value. Jesus didn't die for junk. You are incredibly valuable. Nobody has ever paid a greater price than God paid for you. You are acceptable and you are valuable!

[StillStanding]

An older one I haven't posted:

Your choice: panic or pray
by Rick Warren

My God shall supply all of your needs. Philippians 4:19 (NASB)

Jesus teaches you can give him your worries by asking God to provide for your needs and then trusting that he will provide.

For instance, we can ask God to give us the food we need each day. Some translations say, “Give us this day our daily bread.”

What is “daily bread”? It’s the necessities of life—our physical and material needs that we’re always worrying about. God wants you to ask him to provide those things so you don’t have to worry about them. He’s promised to provide all your needs: “My God shall supply all of your needs” (Philippians 4:19 NASB).

What do you need today? Energy to make it through the day? Finances? Wisdom? You have two alternatives: panic or pray. Philippians 4:6 says: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (NIV).

Do you really believe this verse? God says you can pray about everything. Nothing is too great for God’s power. Nothing is too insignificant for his care. Anything worth worrying about is worth praying about. If we prayed as much as we worried, we’d have a lot less to worry about! Give God your worries.

And when you talk to God about your needs, be specific. Otherwise, how will you know when he’s answered your prayers?

[StillStanding]

Don't Let Bitterness Weaken Your Life
by Rick Warren

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” Proverbs 29:11 (NIV)

The biblical strongman Samson had one extraordinary weakness: his primary motivation in life was simply to get revenge. His life was full of resentment and anger and so he was always reacting violently to people.

We see this several times in Judges 15.  In verse 3, Samson said (v. 3), “This time I have a right to get even with the Philistines.”  Then, he says (v. 5), “Since you acted like this I won’t stop until I get my revenge on you.” Finally, in verse 11, he gives an excuse that is typical of a weak person (v. 11), “He answered, ‘I merely did to them what they did to me.’”

That was Samson's modus operandi: he was always reacting.

When you spend your entire life reacting to people instead of making your own choices, it will weaken your life.

“I merely did to them what they did to me.” Have you ever used that excuse?

When you think about it, resentment -- getting even -- is a waste.

• It's a waste of time. The whole time you're mad, the person you're upset toward is totally oblivious to it. Resentment always hurts you more than it does the other person.
• It's a waste of energy.  You spend all that energy getting upset that you get depressed, fatigued, you run out of energy, and you're tired all the time.  But worst of all …
• It’s a waste of creativity.  Most of us, when we’re angry at somebody, we become extremely creative, thinking of ways to get back at that person.

When you look at Samson's life, you see a guy pretty creative at getting even. In Judges 15:3-5, "Samson said to them, `This time I have a right to get even with the Philistines. I will really harm them.'  So he went out and caught 300 foxes and tied them tail to tail in pairs. Then he fastened a torch to every pair of tails.  He lit the torches and let the foxes loose standing in the grain of the Philistines and he burned up all the shocks and the standing grain together with the vineyards and olive groves."

That's pretty creative! But that creativity ultimately led to his captivity and death.

What's the lesson out of Samson's life?  It’s better to control your anger and choose to act rather than react against everybody. Or as Proverbs 29:11 says "A fool gives full vent to his anger.  But a man of understanding controls himself."

[StillStanding]

Don't Let Carelessness Weaken Your Life
by Rick Warren

“She prodded him day after day until he was tired to death. So he told her everything …” Judges 16:16-17 NIV)
"Nobody ever plans to be a failure. It just comes on gradually until the point that one day we wake up and say, “What happened? This isn’t living for God.”"

The biblical strongman Samson was very careless with his commitments. He made a vow, saying “God, I'm going to live for You.” And to remind him of his vow to God, Samson promised to never cut his hair.

But problem is that Samson refused to take himself seriously or to take God seriously. He thought everything was a big game and so he toyed with temptation: “How close can I get to the fire and not get burned?”

We see this clearly in his relationship with Delilah (Judges16). She continually tempts Samson while asking him to tell her the secret of his great strength, And rather than fleeing temptation, Samson carelessly plays a game with Delilah, not once, but four times, and each time he compromises just a little bit more.

“How close can I get to the fire and not get burned?”

Because Samson was playing a game, he hardly noticed the step that took him from being close to the fire to actually being in the fire.

“Having put him to sleep on her lap, she called a man to shave off the seven braids of his hair … and so his strength left him. Then she called, `Samson, the Philistines are upon you.'  He awoke from his sleep and thought `I'll go out as before and shake myself free.'  But he did not know that the Lord had left him.” (Judges 16:19-20 NIV)

“He did not know the Lord had left him.”  That is one of the most tragic statements in the Bible. He was unaware of what was happening; how his lifestyle was perpetually weakening him little by little.  It was a gradual process.  He had assumed he would always be strong.

Nobody ever plans to be a failure.  It just comes on gradually. Nobody says, “I’m going to be a drug addict” or “I want to break up my marriage” or “I think I’ll destroy my health.” But it starts with one little thing and builds and builds until the point that one day we wake up and say, “What happened? This isn’t living for God.”

What's the lesson we can learn from Samson's life?  Strong people keep their commitments. They guard their commitments. They don't play games with their commitments.

Consider this: Your life is only as strong as your weakest commitment. 

What are you committed to? Are you committed to the Lord? Are you committed to a church? Are you committed to your family? That's where your strength comes from.

[StillStanding]

With the release of Gary's new book Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married, we the publisher would like to share with you some insightful excerpts from each chapter. These tidbits of wisdom have been gained over a lifetime of Gary's professional, as well as personal experience. We hope you enjoy this sneak peak into the book. Visit thingsiwishbook.com for more information, videos, and while your there go ahead and download chapter 1!

Chapter 1: Being in love is not adequate for building a successful marriage
"Being in love is an emotional and obsessive experience. However, emotions change and obsessions fade. Research shows that the average lifespan of the 'in love' obsession is two years." 
"If the obsessive nature of the in-love euphoria extended for the next 20 years, few of us would accomplish our educational and vocational potential. When we are in love, the rest of the world doesn't matter."

Chapter 2: Romantic love has two stages
"The second stage of romantic love is much more intentional than the first stage. And yes, it requires work to keep romantic love alive."
"Seldom do a husband and wife have the same love language. Whatever makes us feel loved is what we do for the other person. But if it is not his/her language, it will not mean to them what it means to us." 

Chapter 3: "Like mother like daughter" and "Like father like son" are not myths
"I encourage couples to have enough exposure to each other's parents to know their personalities, communication patterns, values, and especially how they relate to each other This model greatly influenced the person you are dating."
"If a girl's mother is alcoholic, we know that statistically she is more likely to become an alcoholic. However, she is not destined to alcoholism. If she takes positive action . . . she can break the alcoholic chain."

Chapter 4:  How to solve disagreements without arguing
"Conflicts are not a sign that you have married the wrong person. They simply affirm that you are human."
"The key, of course, is creating a friendly atmosphere by listening to and affirming each other's perspective rather than accusations of illogical thinking."

Chapter 5:  Apologizing is a sign of strength
"After spending a lifetime counseling other couples, I am convinced that there are no healthy marriages without apology and forgiveness."
"What one person considers an apology is not what another person considers apology. Thus couples often miss each other in their efforts to apologize."

Chapter 6:  Forgiveness is not a feeling
"One evening, about six weeks after our wedding, Karolyn and I were engaged in a full-fledged argument. In the midst, she went to a closet, got her raincoat, slammed the front door and walked out into the pouring rain. My first thought was, "Why doesn't she stay and fight like a man?"
"When one of you speaks or behaves unkindly to the other, it calls for an apology and forgiveness if the relationship is to be restored."

[Butterfly]

Great thread! Thanks for taking the time to post these.