[Ready2Transform]

Made me cry (in a good way).   Thank you.

[hope!]

Brought a tear to my eye, beautiful and very true! 

[StillStanding]

http://youtu.be/qX9FSZJu448

Arthur's story is highlighted from the beginning, in the upcoming documentary, INSPIRED: The Movie. http://www.inspiredthemovie.com
(Thanks to filmmaker Steve Yu for putting this inspirational video together!)

Arthur Boorman was a disabled veteran of the Gulf War for 15 years, and was told by his doctors that he would never be able to walk on his own, ever again.

He stumbled upon an article about Diamond Dallas Page doing Yoga and decided to give it a try -- he couldn't do traditional, higher impact exercise, so he tried DDP YOGA and sent an email to Dallas telling him his story.

Dallas was so moved by his story, he began emailing and speaking on the phone with Arthur throughout his journey - he encouraged Arthur to keep going and to believe that anything was possible. Even though doctors told him walking would never happen, Arthur was persistent. He fell many times, but kept going.

Arthur was getting stronger rapidly, and he was losing weight at an incredible rate! Because of DDP's specialized workout, he gained tremendous balance and flexibility -- which gave him hope that maybe someday, he'd be able to walk again.

His story is proof, that we cannot place limits on what we are capable of doing, because we often do not know our own potential. Niether Arthur, nor Dallas knew what he would go on to accomplish, but this video speaks for itself. In less than a year, Arthur completely transformed his life. If only he had known what he was capable of, 15 years earlier.

Do not waste any time thinking you are stuck - you can take control over your life, and change it faster than you might think.

[FindingJoJo]

That was inspirational SS - it reminds me of the pilot in the show "The Secret" that was told he would only be able to blink the rest of his life and never breathe on his own.  He blinked the message that he would walk by Christmas and in 8 months was able to breathe and walked out of the hospital.  It is true the power of the mind and the way we think is powerful.  H started to watch it with me and plans to finish watching it and I would recommend that show as well.

[StillStanding]

From Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis:

The real test is this. Suppose one reads a story of filthy atrocities in the paper. Then suppose that something turns up suggesting that the story might not be quite true, or not quite so bad as it was made out. Is one’s first feeling, “Thank God, even they aren’t quite so bad as that,” or is it a feeling of disappointment, and even a determination to cling to the first story for the sheer pleasure of thinking your enemies are as bad as possible? If it is the second then it is, I am afraid, the first step in a process which, if followed to the end, will make us into devils. You see, one is beginning to wish that black was a little blacker. If we give that wish its head, later on we shall wish to see grey as black, and then to see white itself as black. Finally we shall insist on seeing everything — God and our friends and ourselves included — as bad, and not be able to stop doing it: we shall be fixed for ever in a universe of pure hatred.

For fun, replace "reads a story of filthy atrocities in the paper" with "hears of some Replay behavior their MLCer is engaged in"...

[StillStanding]

From Dr. Gary Chapman's Love Languages newsletter:
http://is.gd/joTUEi

5 "Aha" Marriage Tips You Need to Know: Part 1
#1 - I am responsible for my own attitude.

Trouble is inevitable, but misery is optional. Attitude has to do with the way I choose to think about things. Two wives have husbands who have lost their jobs. Wendy said, "My husband hasn't had a full-time job in three years. The good part is not being able to afford cable TV. We've done a lot more talking on Monday nights. We've learned a lot. Our philosophy is 'Let's see how many things we can do without that everybody else thinks they have to have.' It's amazing how many things you can do without."

On the other hand, Lou Ann said, "My husband hasn't had a job for ten months. We are down to one car, no phone, and we're getting food from the food bank. Life is miserable at our house." The difference in these two wives was basically a matter of attitude.

We choose to think negatively and curse the darkness, or we choose to look for the silver lining behind the clouds.

[Peony2012]

SS, thank you for posting these, they came to me at the right moment! 
peony x

[StillStanding]

Part 2:
http://is.gd/9vB6SM

5 "Aha" Marriage Tips You Need to Know: Part 2
#2 - Attitude affects actions.

The reason attitudes are so important is that they affect my behavior and words. I may not be able to control my environment: sickness, alcoholic spouse, teenager on drugs, aging parents, etc. but I am responsible for what I do within my environment. My attitude will greatly influence my behavior.

If I look for the positive in my marriage, then I'm more likely to talk positively: give my spouse affirming words, and to do something that has the potential for enhancing life for both of us.

On the other hand, if I focus on the negative, I'm more likely to give my spouse critical, condemning words. This type of behavior will often result in one of two actions:

    I'll do things to hurt my spouse, or 
    I'll withdraw and consider leaving my spouse.

Yes, my attitude affects my actions.

[StillStanding]

http://ow.ly/ecmvM

How do I respect him when he doesn’t love me?
By Jackie Feit

Monterey, California, Tuesday evening, 6:30 p.m.
• Tires screech into the driveway, and the garage door slams shut. He
throws his briefcase into the corner of the kitchen, lets out an abbreviated grunt when you ask him how his day was, then mutters, “What’s for dinner?”
Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday morning, 11:00 a.m.
• The endless drone of television commentators, toothpaste
commercials, and AFLAC ducks have almost done you in. Work had been particularly stressful this week and you were looking forward to finally having some time together. But after three hours of watching him watch his favorite team play, you give up and retreat to doing your own thing.
Toronto, Ontario, Friday night, 8:34 p.m.
• He surprises you for your birthday and takes you out to your favorite
restaurant. The night is off to a great start...that is, until you take second place to his phone. Not even ten minutes have gone by before he is negotiating an “important” deal, no longer acknowledging your existence.

Whether these scenarios match your current situation or your experience is totally unique, feeling disregarded, disconnected, and unloved is extremely painful. And in your pain, you often respond by disrespecting the person who disrespects you. After all, it seems unnatural to show respect and admiration towards the very person causing your hurt. But although your gut reaction is to snap back and display your dissatisfaction, the proper response, however difficult it may seem, cannot be disrespect—regardless of what you get (or don’t get) in return. This is not easy, but it is a choice.
In the long run, choosing disrespect only perpetuates the vicious cycle of negative feelings. Dr. Emerson E. Eggerichs, PhD in Psychology and founder of the Love and Respect Conferences, explains in an online video (http://www.loveandrespect.com/content/crazy_cycle_videoStream.php), “Without love, she reacts without respect. Without respect he acts without love. Without love she reacts without respect...and this baby starts to spin.” Dr. Eggerichs has dubbed this notion the ‘Crazy Cycle.’** With each act, the cycle is reinforced and continues to spiral out of control. Dr. DeAnne Terrell, a psychologist and faculty member of Psychological Studies Institute, states, “To break the cycle, you must step out and do what is right, regardless of what he is or isn’t doing.” Just to clarify, disrespect does not necessarily mean extreme name-calling, flailing arms, or eye rolling. It can be as simple as the tone in your voice or the body language you display.

And in the moment, a hostile glare or harsh tone may feel satisfying; and truthfully, your reaction may be justified. But the focus of marriage is not so much on justice as it is on choosing to love and respect the other person, despite their imperfections.
To do this, it is first important to distinguish fact from fiction. This may mean taking a step back and deciphering the reality from the feelings. Is it possible that your partner does love you, but isn’t displaying it in the way that speaks love to you? In The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman writes, “Seldom do a husband and wife have the same primary emotional love language. We tend to speak our [own] primary love language and we become confused when our spouse does not understand what we are communicating. We are expressing our love, but the message does not come through because we are speaking what, to them, is a foreign language.”
Learn what speaks love to you, whether it is spending more time together, getting sporadic notes, holding hands, verbal affirmation, etc. Most likely, your spouse doesn’t know your exact needs or desires, and assumes that whatever speaks love to him/her will also speak love to you (i.e. going to work, taking out the trash, preparing dinner, watching the kids, fixing the leaky faucet, etc.). Using open (and gentle!) communication, share your needs with one another. Loving responses are much more likely to occur if you are willing to display love and respect to the other person. Take the first step and begin to break the ‘Crazy Cycle!’

**(Get a better understanding of the ‘Crazy Cycle’ by reading “The Two Stories I Hear Over and Over Again”) http://www.loveandrespect.com/content/crazy_cycle.php)

[OldPilot]

From MWD on Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/DivorceBusting

Special thanks to Trusting for liking this, so do I.


Due to rapidly changing weather patterns in Colorado there's a saying, "If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes." A similar phenomena is true for marriage. Research shows that two-thirds of unhappily married spouses who stay married report that their marriages are happy five years later. This is true even in marriages where there are serious problems such as substance abuse, infidelity, verbal abuse, etc.. That's because people can change. If you wait out the storm, you can avoid the unintended problems brought about by divorce and keep your family together. Plus, believe it or not, you can become happier and more loving. Hang in there! -Michele Weiner-Davis