[readytofixmyselffirst]

It is all the tunnel as far as I am concerned. There is no sign from the beginning. To look for exits or transitions right now is dicey at best. Depression is seen throughout the entire event. As long as they are running, messing with ow, still acting as if the world is their oyster, they are in replay.

However, they can start to enter one stage and bounce back. They can go back and forth like a yo yo. Until they have gone through everything, then you know they will be coming out. The timeline is not accurate but just a idea. For some it take longer and other it is shorter.

Right now, You need to focus on getting a life, detaching, and paving the way for a better you. ((((Hugs))))

[loveyourenemies]

Thank you for that answer. It helps.

Yes, I am focussing on me... again I know thats all I can do and its whats most important.

I was just a little confused is all, so thank you for answering

Have a good night

[Dontgiveup]

The article titled Progress: Backward, Limbo, Forward is excellent in reference to MLC behavior.  They are in the tunnel in Replay.  They cycle most rapidly at the beginning of the tunnel because light from the entrance is still visible.....then again at the end of the tunnel because of the light at the end is now visible.....which now reveals the damage to them.

I recommend you read the article several times as something different will stick out each time.  It is a great article.....at least I've found it to be.

[loveyourenemies]

WOW, very cool.... Now I understand better why it's called the tunnel...

Makes so much sense how when seeing the light still at the beginning they can cylce out and back in, thats obviosuly what my XH has done again.

Thank you!

[justasking]

LYE

The whole of their journey from denial right through to the end of acceptance is in the tunnel.

The worse place in the tunnel as Ready pointed out is the middle of replay. During replay they are running hard from the issues they need to address but use all sorts of ways to get their buzz of happiness i.e affairs, drugs and alcohol etc. At this time it is all about them and they are selfish, manipulative and they lie and spend.

The tunnel is not a straight walk but has lots of twists and turns hence the rollercoaster lol  All this equals lots of time. It is during this time lets us look at ourselves and our marriage and put right what we don't like.

DGU is right the move you read the information the more it starts to make sense. I have had many eureka moments whilst reading 

xx

[Buggy31]

I agree that the tunnel is the whole journey.  From denial to acceptance.  In my sitch I was clearly able to see when he slipped into ANGER stage and the downward spiral from there.  Like DGU says REPLAY is the deepest, darkest part of the tunnel and it gets worse before they can see the light.  From what I understand seeing the light is also difficult because at that point the damage is revealed as well.  Until then they are clueless

[OldPilot]

LYE

I merged your question in with a previous short thread from last summer.
Maybe there is more information here that will help with the question.

[nlovemyfamily]

where is this article Progress, Forward Limbo backward?

[watching and waiting]

This is the link to the Progress: forward limbo back
http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/progress.html

HUGS

[Heart to Heart]

If I may, I'd like to ask for even further clarification of the replay stage.  My husband "hinted" of divorce and the desire to have an affair in July 09, but didn't give the ILYBNILWY /divorce speech and separation until April 10.   I suspect an emotional affair perhaps after the July 09 discussion.  Do I interpret the start of replay in July 09 or on actual BD in April 10?

Thanks much,
H2H