[R]

My kids did all of us plus pets, and not a single symbol of H.  Phew!

Snowdrop, D10 did this too!  About a month after BD, she was drawing a picture of the family - Me, D12, her and our kitten, Wilbur.  No mention of H at all.  Similarly at counselling last week, they talked about the family tree and Ds had to draw a line from themselves to those family members they felt closest to.
Both put me as number 1 
My mum as number 2
My sister in law as number 3
H as number 4. 
No mention of my ILs at all!!

Very strange how things change for them...

xxx

[Snowdrop]

CB, Wilbur, , how cute is that!

Then, on the grand scale of things, if it is a representation of what she feels, maybe she is doing pretty good?  Or as "good" as the word can mean in all this awful mess.  Maybe she is processing in her own way, on her own schedule, which I would think is the better way?  I don't have a clue.  She's got a good mom who loves her, and shows a solid way of life, so how can she go wrong.  Imagine if our H's had the kids

[R]

Wilbur from Charlotte's Web - I know he was a pig, but we just loved the name 

If you had seen the gifts H bought back from holiday, I would be very scared to let him loose buying anything for Ds at all, let alone look after them.  Clearly HER influence as he always had such great taste - til he met her - he he 

xxx

[Stillpraying]

A week ago today, a little girl in my son's year at school (grade 1/2) passed away after a few days of meningitis.  In the school's notice about this, the counsellor posted the following website:

http://www.novita.org.au/content.aspx?p=441

There are often questions asked on her about how much we should allow our children to know what we are going through.  So I thought this information may help some of you make those choices regarding your kids.

Here's an extract of the opening article:

Children and grief

In a letter to parents about children and grief Elizabeth Kubler-Ross (1983, p. 2)states: “They are aware of your pains and worries, your sleepless nights and concerns, and you should not hide them. Don’t go into their room with a false “cheerful” smile. Children cannot be fooled. Don’t lie to them that you just chopped some onions. How many onions are you going to cut? Tell them you are sad and sometimes feel so useless that you cannot help more. They will hold you in their little arms and feel good that they can help you by sharing comfort. Shared sorrow is much easier to bear than filling them with feelings of guilt and fear that they are the cause of your anxiety.”

[in it]

The truth will go a long way to forming a lasting bond. In grief and pain can be forged a closeness that IMHO cannot be broken.

[Stillpraying]

Yes, it really is amazing how children respond to adults.

My daughter was almost 2 1/2 when exH left.  She saw me crying in the week before he was leaving and drew me a picture.  As she was trying to give it to me, H was trying to stop her as I was on the phone to some one sharing my grief.  I summoned that she could come to me and I will never forget that moment when my little girl, my youngest child reached out to me in that simplest of ways.

And almost 3 years later she's still drawing me pictures.  Just got another one today, all wrapped up (I even needed to help he wrap it  ) with her and I surrounded by love hearts.

[LaughLoveLive]

I soon realised that it helped my girls for them to be able to help me even in a tiny way like giving me a cuddle. They feel helpless too.

They don't need to know all the gruesome details but honestly sharing emotions and showing them that emotions are normal but temporary is a great life lesson.

What a tragedy for that little girls family

And what a blessing your own little girl is SP

[Stillpraying]

Oh she sure is SP.  I mean I love my 3 boys and they give the best hugs...but she is also a joy in the darkness of MLC.
It does put everything in perspective when we hear about tragedies such as the one at school.  I didn't know her personally but she was in my son's year and that really hits home then.  Life is short and precious. She was also a staff member's daughter so the teachers are all in double shock. 

There is a celebration of her life tomorrow with lollies, fairy floss, ice cream etc.  Just the way she would want it and a great way for the kids to remember her and help with the grief process.  I am just in awe of her parents who can put this on after losing their only daughter.  We all believe in heaven and know she is there and that helps deal with it.