[Snowdrop]

You're saying that I should stay and be unhappy so that every one else can be happy?''.....

Next time, maybe you should say, "Er, yes, that is EXACTLY what I'm saying!" ha ha

At least he might take a moment to figure out what you just said.  Mind you, that much thought might put him into a tailspin.

[Snowdrop]

LOTH - 'I will not allow you to perish' - now I am really jealous because that's one step up from my H not wanting me to die!  I feel as if I am missing out now 

Me too!  Maybe one day we will be so lucky? 

[panda]

Snowdrop - at least its a kind of 'positive' statement..!

[Snowdrop]

Yes it is, Panda.

Maybe we will be lucky enough to have our H's say something as great as that!! ha ha

Just had a quick thought about the sanity of our other halves, and laughing to myself as I type a note from Snowdrop to Panda!! 

[lawprofessor]

I only wish my Ex had said he didn't want me to die.  Mine told me he wanted me to die and had a plan for how to kill me.  Later, of course, he tried to apologize but that was only after explaining to me for several hours how he planned to do it and having a discussion with the police, who had to explain to him that I taped the threats and it was not generally a good idea to kill a spouse.

Genius told me he was sincerely sorry for saying that much later.  In the next breathe he said it was just like me to not want to die and involve the police in the discussion.  He followed that up by saying that it was just another example of how unreasonable I was when he had an idea, that I always say no to his ideas while he always agrees to my ideas. 

Yep, I said no to him killing me, and he said yes to pizza for supper.  How unreasonable of me not to accommodate him. 

[lawprofessor]

Ah, the one I like is, "I still want to be friends." 

After he received the order of protection, I got the following call-

Genius-I still want to be friends.
Me-NO. 
Genius-"Why not?  I don't understand."
Me-I don't want to be friends with you.  You want to kill me.  I don't like how angry you are and the things you are doing in this new personality you've adopted. 
Genius-What new personality?  You mean because I won't put up with your nasty tough b!tc#y crap any longer?  The one where I tell people that I'm not putting up with anybody's crap any longer.  Most of the world needs to die.  Besides if I stayed with you I was going to suffocate.
Me-That is a new personality to me.  You were not like that before.
Genius-So what?  What are you gonna do about it?
Me-Nothing. I just don't want to be friends with someone like that.
Genius-Why not?
Me-I'm sorry.  Personal choice.
Genius-So you don't want to be friends with me?  Not even on FB? How will we talk?
Me-I'm sorry, no I don't want to be friends with you.  We were friends on FB but you have unfriended me seven times now.  I am done.  So we won't talk.
Genius-You deserved it.  You didn't treat me like a friend.  You made me mad.  You didn't talk about what I wanted.  You were mean to me.  I showed you what I could do.  Learn from that.  But I want you for a friend.
Me-Sorry about that.  Did you get the order of protection?
Genius-Yes.  I still don't see why we can't be friends. 
Me-It says so on the order of protection.
Genius-But I still need your help.
Me-I guess you can ask OW.
Genius-I never thought of that.  Hmmmm...Won't work.  I have to help her.  She doesn't have her own credit card.  She has her dad's until she gets her first job and establishes some credit.  And she doesn't have her own car yet, its her dad's,  so she can't carry my car insurance. 
Genius-HEY! Are you still there!!!!?
Me-I guess you should have thought of that.
Genius-THIS IS NOT WHAT I HAVE PLANNED!!!  You have to listen!!!  I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!!  I HATE YOU!! 

[BB64]

Ah, yes '' We can still be friends''

BD day, 0ctober 2012:
''We can still be friends. I still like you. You are a nice person''

4 weeks after BD:
I was literally brainwashed with that one, intimidated if I'm honest, the conversation was heated on his part. Aggressive. I was distraught and crying.

HIM: ''We have to be friends!!!!! We have kids together!!!!!'' Said he, shouting down the phone at me.
Me:''No, we don't. We can just be civil''
HIM:''No, that's just childish''
Me:'' You can't have it all your way''
HIM:'' Are you giving me an ultimatum?''
Me:'' Straw man. I am not not friends with any of my exes''
HIM:'' That's because they were all pr*cks!''
Me:'' Right, so you REALLY want to be friends''
HIM: ''Well of course I do, I don't want you out of my life completely''
Me:'' OK, OK, I'll try, but no promises''
HIM:''Good. catch you later''
 



To other people:
''Oh yeah, yeah, we are friends. We get on well!''

Then in March 2013:
ME:
''I'm not sure I should keep seeing you. Seeing you hurts me''
Him:his face:  '' I can imagine. But...but, what about what we have now?''
Me:'' What's that then?''
Him: ''We are friends, aren't we?''
Me:'' If that's what you want to call it, I'll be your friend but only because I believe we can rebuild our relationship from starting as friends again''
Him: Head in hands- rubbing his forehead- mumbles something or other.

At that point I dropped it. I had the last word.

I really don't think he understands the concept of friendship, or even the difference between love and care and how the two can work together. Not while he's in MLC anyway.

When someone 'dumps' you, the last thing you want to hear is that you have been demoted to just friend.
And it's a bit like a thief coming to your house, taking everything you own and leaving a note saying:'' Here's my phone number, give me a call sometime. You could come round mine to watch a film with me on your TV, I'll let you pick the DVD seeing as they are yours. You have good taste by the way!''

 

[LaughLoveLive]

Ah yes...the lets be friends thing.
I am not sure what to call my current relationship with H but it is certainly not "friendship"

[Snowdrop]

When H came to get some things, and the first time we saw or spoke since he first left, he grabbed an armful of items and said how he had to go.  He then went on to say how we should be friends, and when I said, "no, it doesn't work that way", he looked baffled and quickly drove away, never to be heard from again for ages!

H mentioned in some response to an unrelated email from me, how "we need to communicate better if we are to co-parent!", and then totally disappeared off the face of the earth for weeks.........AGAIN!

Just realized he comes around as often as a solar or lunar eclipse! 

[calamity]

And it's a bit like a thief coming to your house, taking everything you own and leaving a note saying:'' Here's my phone number, give me a call sometime. You could come round mine to watch a film with me on your TV, I'll let you pick the DVD seeing as they are yours. You have good taste by the way!''