[BB64]

Sometimes I think we could just play along and just repeat what they've just said, like children do. I reckon they'd up saying: ''Stop picking on me or I'll tell on you!!''

[Slow Fade]

I am too friendly and open with other people

Mine said I try to hard to fit in with other people and be friendly with them........
As opposed to being a total jerk I guess.........

[phantomstep]

Here's one of the interesting things my wife told me about 20 minutes into the BD:

W:  You should get a girlfriend , in fact now that were friends , I should find one for you ( with a smile on her face )

Me: Whaaaa...?

Me: Really? a girlfriend?? ... let me ask you this , let's say that I told you that I cheated on you , what would you say?  ( I was  testing her sanity with this question)

W: I would be so happy for you ! ( smile )

Me: Whaaa...??

W: well yeah , I mean if you're cheating on me , then it must make you happy , so I would be happy for you .

Me:  Huh...??

Yeah, after that , I knew I wasn't dealing with the person I knew for the past 15 years , but something else, that's when the research began.

[BB64]

That, must have hurt though, Phantom.

None of it is funny at the time, when you just don't know or understand where it is all coming from. It's only in hindsight that we really realise how irrational it all sounds. Some of the things that were said to me were going round and round in my head for months and keeping me awake at night with pain and anxiety

[phantomstep]

Jag , yes , that really did hurt, it still does . I'm in that phase now , where I keep replaying words said to me in my head. I sleep way better though than I did a month ago. I wake up in the morning everyday and check text messages I received from her about all this a month or so back and the reason I check them is just to see if all of this is real. It really could drive a person insane if he cares enough to "Stand" not knowing about MLC.

My W seems to sometimes make it easy on me a little, by being completely insulting and selfishly uncaring with some of the things she says to me, where I start to think to myself " Man, I don't need this , it would be really easy to let her go right this minute , because I have more respect for myself , than to be treated like this ! " , but fortunately I care for my family and want to Stand , I just hope I can find patience to last a really long time , as I am new to all of this and I hear it lasts a very long time and endures a lot of pain.

[BB64]

First, I should just clarify that I am Booboo, not JAG.  I am not a mentor but a newbie myself although I am 9 months after BD.
I can't give you advice, but I know what you are going through. The words replaying in my head started to fade away after a while, now I don't hear them anymore. I had to use a mental tool for this, every time the words played round and round in my head like a broken record I virtually replied out loud with: '' I'm not buying it''. I also found that  letting the feelings take over, and I mean really letting them consume me until they exhausted themselves and not fighting them helped a great deal. After a short while there was nothing more my extreme emotions could hit me with. Of course I still get sad at times, but it soon passes.

But the one thing that really, really helped was to read everything I could on this website, over and over again. All the articles, the blogs, people's stories and you will find that not only you are not alone in this 'hell' but there are some great tips that will help you become a bit more whole again.
It will get better, I know it sounds cliché and hard to believe right now, but it's true. If someone had told me a few months ago that I would be going swimming 3 times a week, starting a new business, liking myself again and fighting for what I believe in, I wouldn't have believed them. I was a MESS!!!
You'll be OK. The very fact that you are here sharing your story and feeling is an amazing step taken forward!
I spend a lot of time online due to my work so if you ever need a chat, gives me a shout, you are not alone x

[Thundarr]

So many amazing people here, and sadly new ones every day.  All bring a great deal to the table but it still sucks that we all find ourselves at it.

Now, back to the script.  XW and I were sitting together in our swing a few days/ weeks after BD and she told me to get a girlfriend.  I decided to play coy and inquired about a woman she works with that she had once been jealous of my friendship with.  She actually encouraged me to pursue her and said she thought she was single.  I asked her if she would put in a good word for me (being sarcastic), and XW actually said,"What in the world could I tell her is good about you?"  And she was serious.  That's around the time I started suspecting a brain tumor.

[Stillpraying]

Sometimes I think we could just play along and just repeat what they've just said, like children do. I reckon they'd up saying: ''Stop picking on me or I'll tell on you!!''

Well I did just that a few months after H left and boy did I get monster.  My Counsellor just laughed.

The last week H was still here but we knew he was leaving, he slept in the bedroom and I was on the couch.  I think I'd had one night in the bed.  So we are in the hall way and H asks me calmly if I mind sleeping back on the couch and he in the bed as he has to work the next day.  I calmly replied "I didn't get to sleep in the bed the night before I had to work??"   Then H just stuck out his tongue and did a 'raspberry' Don't know how to 'write' it but I think you get my drift.  I was so shocked!  What a KID!!  I really did find that response childish and VERY insensitive as I was crying on and off that week while dealing with him about to leave.

So a few months later when he texted me in anger about having bought pizza (frozen) on my way home from work before coming home to the kids so he could leave, I replied "Sook, sook, sook."  I hesitated to press send but all I could think off was that stupid time he did that raspberry to me so it was a great feeling to act childish and get it off my chest.  And guess what his response was?  "You are so childish"!!!

[BB64]

Yes, I find that the hypocrisy which seems to come hand in hand with MLC and what they have berated us for is outstanding.
Mine hated me going out with my friends to party, now he's doing it himself. I've stopped, not to impress him but because I've realised that it wasn't doing me any good. I don't like hangovers, losing sleep, wasting money and to be perfectly honest, I don't like drunk people much either.

One thing that really is still riling me is that for the past couple of years, he has been obsessed with making money, and he is making money. I always used to say to him that money doesn't buy happiness.
A few weeks ago, what does he tell his mother?: ''Money doesn't buy happiness''........Pfff. I wish he would now practice what he preaches, because IMO , spending hundreds of £££ on motorbikes, clothes, tattoos etc...is not exactly reflecting his supposedly newfound philosophy!!!!

[calamity]

Had to share this from Snowdrop:

aren't you going to wish me congratulations", as he told me he'd just gotten married and had "moved on".

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