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Author Topic: Mirror-Work Messages From the Universe (StillStanding's Messages II)

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Mirror-Work Re: Messages From the Universe (StillStanding's Messages II)
#10: September 16, 2013, 02:48:18 PM
It's so obvious; how did we miss it?!

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Me: 45, Her: 40. Married 16 1/2 years, together(-ish) 20.
Status: BD 8/25/09, she moved out 8/28/10. No talk of D.

Every day is another chance to get it right.
http://www.vachss.com/mission/behavior.html

"Counting days won't buy us years" —Wings by HAERTS
"Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past."  —Lily Tomlin
"When we commit to our lovers, we implicitly promise to forgive them. There is no other way we can live with someone for better or worse or until death do us part." —Dr. Frederic Luskin
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Re: Messages From the Universe (StillStanding's Messages II)
#11: November 01, 2013, 12:55:15 PM
If you're a fan of Mr. Rogers, My Little Pony, or possibly both...

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Me: 45, Her: 40. Married 16 1/2 years, together(-ish) 20.
Status: BD 8/25/09, she moved out 8/28/10. No talk of D.

Every day is another chance to get it right.
http://www.vachss.com/mission/behavior.html

"Counting days won't buy us years" —Wings by HAERTS
"Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past."  —Lily Tomlin
"When we commit to our lovers, we implicitly promise to forgive them. There is no other way we can live with someone for better or worse or until death do us part." —Dr. Frederic Luskin
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Re: Messages From the Universe (StillStanding's Messages II)
#12: November 01, 2013, 02:36:26 PM
That pretty much says it.  He was a treasure.  I miss him.
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TLZ
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Re: Messages From the Universe (StillStanding's Messages II)
#13: December 17, 2013, 10:03:48 AM
I've said this to a few people on here, so I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who gets this...

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/2013/12/qa-trusting-men/

Quote
Q: My girlfriend has a very hard time trusting men. How can I help her to know she can trust me?

Gary Chapman: [Emphasis mine] You cannot convince her to trust you, but you can be trustworthy. If she can tell you how people have failed her in the past and brought her to a place of distrust, you can focus on those areas in particular. You can say things like, “My cell phone is always open to you. My emails are also open if you’d like to check my computer. If you would like to call and check to see if I was where I said I was that is fine.” As she sees that you are trustworthy, she will come to trust you.
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« Last Edit: December 17, 2013, 10:10:46 AM by StillStanding »
Me: 45, Her: 40. Married 16 1/2 years, together(-ish) 20.
Status: BD 8/25/09, she moved out 8/28/10. No talk of D.

Every day is another chance to get it right.
http://www.vachss.com/mission/behavior.html

"Counting days won't buy us years" —Wings by HAERTS
"Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past."  —Lily Tomlin
"When we commit to our lovers, we implicitly promise to forgive them. There is no other way we can live with someone for better or worse or until death do us part." —Dr. Frederic Luskin
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Re: Messages From the Universe (StillStanding's Messages II)
#14: December 17, 2013, 01:39:58 PM
I don't understand the relevance of the Chapman quote.  We're not the untrustworthy ones...
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One day at a time.

Thundarr
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Re: Messages From the Universe (StillStanding's Messages II)
#15: December 17, 2013, 07:18:50 PM
That's not always true; some MLCers do have legitimate trust issues that have nothing to do with their MLC. And the issue of trust is one that both spouses have to deal with when it comes to reconciliation.

In the post-BD panic, LBSes may push too hard in order to learn about the actions of their MLCers. Also, there are a couple of people here who have had affairs of their own.

There's been more than person here who has asked, "How do I get my MLCer to trust me again?" And my answer is the same as Chapman's: you can't make them trust you, you can only strive to be trustworthy and allow time to heal those wounds.
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Me: 45, Her: 40. Married 16 1/2 years, together(-ish) 20.
Status: BD 8/25/09, she moved out 8/28/10. No talk of D.

Every day is another chance to get it right.
http://www.vachss.com/mission/behavior.html

"Counting days won't buy us years" —Wings by HAERTS
"Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past."  —Lily Tomlin
"When we commit to our lovers, we implicitly promise to forgive them. There is no other way we can live with someone for better or worse or until death do us part." —Dr. Frederic Luskin
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Re: Messages From the Universe (StillStanding's Messages II)
#16: December 17, 2013, 08:16:32 PM
Well put.  Thanks
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Thundarr
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Re: Messages From the Universe (StillStanding's Messages II)
#17: January 08, 2014, 08:00:06 AM
Quote
Some couples believe that the end of the in-love experience means they only have two options: resign themselves to a life of misery with their spouse, or jump ship and try again. This is not the case. Self-giving love brings new life.

https://www.facebook.com/5LoveLanguages/posts/10152092736714627
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Me: 45, Her: 40. Married 16 1/2 years, together(-ish) 20.
Status: BD 8/25/09, she moved out 8/28/10. No talk of D.

Every day is another chance to get it right.
http://www.vachss.com/mission/behavior.html

"Counting days won't buy us years" —Wings by HAERTS
"Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past."  —Lily Tomlin
"When we commit to our lovers, we implicitly promise to forgive them. There is no other way we can live with someone for better or worse or until death do us part." —Dr. Frederic Luskin
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Re: Messages From the Universe (StillStanding's Messages II)
#18: January 21, 2014, 08:31:15 AM
Life is too short for bitterness and resentment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aaYXu_qzg0
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Me: 45, Her: 40. Married 16 1/2 years, together(-ish) 20.
Status: BD 8/25/09, she moved out 8/28/10. No talk of D.

Every day is another chance to get it right.
http://www.vachss.com/mission/behavior.html

"Counting days won't buy us years" —Wings by HAERTS
"Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past."  —Lily Tomlin
"When we commit to our lovers, we implicitly promise to forgive them. There is no other way we can live with someone for better or worse or until death do us part." —Dr. Frederic Luskin
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Re: Messages From the Universe (StillStanding's Messages II)
#19: January 21, 2014, 05:38:54 PM
What is self-giving love? ... To me it sounds like give love to ourselves but I guess it must be something else...

Regarding trust, I really don't see why would the LBS have to worry with regaining the MLCer trust. The other way round it makes sense.

And always have our mobile and email available to someone else does not fall into the beck and call and intrusion of privacy category?... Or does it not make the person, as in the girlfriend (and I'm assuming we are not taking about the girfriend of a former MLCer) needy and lacking in confindence? Would we really want to date such person?...
.
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Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)
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