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Author Topic: Mirror-Work Messages From the Universe (StillStanding's Messages II)

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This is one of the best things I've read in a while. And I think it's important for LBSes to remember.

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Me: 45, Her: 40. Married 16 1/2 years, together(-ish) 20.
Status: BD 8/25/09, she moved out 8/28/10. No talk of D.

Every day is another chance to get it right.
http://www.vachss.com/mission/behavior.html

"Counting days won't buy us years" —Wings by HAERTS
"Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past."  —Lily Tomlin
"When we commit to our lovers, we implicitly promise to forgive them. There is no other way we can live with someone for better or worse or until death do us part." —Dr. Frederic Luskin

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The mind of an MLCer?

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Me: 45, Her: 40. Married 16 1/2 years, together(-ish) 20.
Status: BD 8/25/09, she moved out 8/28/10. No talk of D.

Every day is another chance to get it right.
http://www.vachss.com/mission/behavior.html

"Counting days won't buy us years" —Wings by HAERTS
"Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past."  —Lily Tomlin
"When we commit to our lovers, we implicitly promise to forgive them. There is no other way we can live with someone for better or worse or until death do us part." —Dr. Frederic Luskin

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From one of Michele Weiner-Davis' emails:

Quote
Can My Spouse Really Change?

Greetings!

Up until 1960, researchers believed that changes in the brain could only occur during infancy and early childhood. It was generally assumed that by early adulthood, the brain structure was indelible.

We have since learned that these assumptions are simply incorrect; that we can change the structure and function of our brains throughout our lifetimes. Learning new skills and adapting to new situations is a lifelong ability. This is referred to as brain plasticity.

The elderly can often counteract detrimental effects of aging by intentionally keeping their brains active and learning new information. The idea is, "Use it or Lose it."

So, I wonder. If it is a fact that we can change the way we think throughout our lives, why are so many people who are unhappy in their marriages reticent to believe that their spouses can change?

After almost four decades as a therapist, I can tell naysayers with assurance that there is great reason to believe that the future can be much more than a miserable extension of the past- it can be bright; that regardless of how deeply entrenched problems might be- things can change.

The human spirit is boundless.

With intention, almost anything is possible.

I have been privileged to have a bird's eye view of my clients' lives when they have been in their darkest periods. I witness frequent hopelessness and pessimism.

But here's the truth.

Hitting rock bottom often leads people to make the most profound changes of all. Let's just say that it's time we recognized "relationship plasticity," the ability we all have to change over the course of our lives together.

Believe it.

Pass this on to someone who needs reminding.
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Me: 45, Her: 40. Married 16 1/2 years, together(-ish) 20.
Status: BD 8/25/09, she moved out 8/28/10. No talk of D.

Every day is another chance to get it right.
http://www.vachss.com/mission/behavior.html

"Counting days won't buy us years" —Wings by HAERTS
"Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past."  —Lily Tomlin
"When we commit to our lovers, we implicitly promise to forgive them. There is no other way we can live with someone for better or worse or until death do us part." —Dr. Frederic Luskin

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The end of an MLCer's search for truth...

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Me: 45, Her: 40. Married 16 1/2 years, together(-ish) 20.
Status: BD 8/25/09, she moved out 8/28/10. No talk of D.

Every day is another chance to get it right.
http://www.vachss.com/mission/behavior.html

"Counting days won't buy us years" —Wings by HAERTS
"Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past."  —Lily Tomlin
"When we commit to our lovers, we implicitly promise to forgive them. There is no other way we can live with someone for better or worse or until death do us part." —Dr. Frederic Luskin

V
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Still Standing, how are you uploading images? Is there a tutorial on HS?
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I'm not uploading them; the img tag allows you to put a link to an image graphic into a post.

The post above has a line that looks like this (with spaces inserted so you can see the tags):

[ img ]https://i.imgur.com/hYQrd4C.png[ /img ]

You can also click on the teeny Mona Lisa button on the left, just above the smilies; it'll insert the img tags so you can put the link between them.
  • Logged
Me: 45, Her: 40. Married 16 1/2 years, together(-ish) 20.
Status: BD 8/25/09, she moved out 8/28/10. No talk of D.

Every day is another chance to get it right.
http://www.vachss.com/mission/behavior.html

"Counting days won't buy us years" —Wings by HAERTS
"Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past."  —Lily Tomlin
"When we commit to our lovers, we implicitly promise to forgive them. There is no other way we can live with someone for better or worse or until death do us part." —Dr. Frederic Luskin

 

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