[Shark eyes comes up a lot on this forum. It is a flat affect in the eyes that often appears around bomb drop and especially accompanied by lack of empathy or conscience. Some research I have been doing has led me to wonder: Is the shark eye more pronounce]

Shark eyes comes up a lot on this forum. It is a flat affect in the eyes that often appears around bomb drop and especially accompanied by lack of empathy or conscience. Some research I have been doing has led me to wonder: Is the shark eye more pronounce

Right Eye

1 (3.1%)

Left Eye

0 (0%)

Both Eyes

29 (90.6%)

Unsure

1 (3.1%)

No Shark Eyes

1 (3.1%)

Total Members Voted: 32

Voting closed: October 17, 2016, 07:04:22 PM

[phantomstep]

My W 8 months ago after BD would never look at me , only when she was monstering she would look straight at me and mean looking. She stopped monstering , because I would never react to monster. She would still not make eye contact for a while. Eventually she did and for a period of time she was nice and looking straight at me during conversations, usually when she was trying to manipulate me into thinking that we were not good together in a friendly way. In the past three months or so she will sometimes look away , but when looking straight at me , her eyes are deep black , you cannot see the pupils and they look empty , like almost in somekind of daze. I notice that when in a gathering of friends she is that way only to me , no one else in the room.

[Mamma Bear]

 Hi Long Journey

 I was just reading this thread and wanted to chime in.

 I saw no eye contact, staring at feet, for a long long time.

 It hurt a lot because we'd always had a special eye contact through our lives.  Even at a party across the room, I knew when we should start leaving...lol

 Well this past 6 mos has been a real change in that.

 I do credit the fact that I just leave him alone and treat him like a friend. Occasionally  let him know I am sad about this and I think he's going through something so go through it al ready...


  Just had a great Christmas where there were cards from him and a lighthouse calendar and more eye contact than I could shake a stick at.

   I think they are afraid of that connection and also they are afraid to see their own reflection in our eyes.

  More proof that they know they are doing wrong by us and they just can't stop.
 
  Just keep being the soft place to land in case there ever is a need for a landing  and carry on doing what you enjoy.

   Actually, once I started purposely avoiding eye contact.....he would run around me to MAKE EYE CONTACT.
  haha  Just thought of that one.  So obvious. as If 'I have to have eye contact and I won't take NO for an answer.'



   

[in it]

They feel guilty, ashamed, or are lying. IMHO

[superdog]

I have to agree with in it, shame guilt and lying to begin with.

The connection is severed the minute we have bd, the rest is about them and what they don't want you to see. 

In order not to see it they would actually have to present themselves with paper bag over head cos it's written all over these faces.

Sd
Xx

[in it]

In my case way before BD.

These MLCER's are usually gone quite a while before BD even happens.

WE get blindsided but they are already so far removed that all of this doesn't seem to or even effect them.

This is a really hard concept to grasp. Some may have never been connected to begin with.

[Jackolar12]

When I accidentally bumped into mine she turned around and faced the wall for a while like a naughty school girl, she was all dressed up in designer stuff like a teenager and had lost lots of weight but her face looked like she had aged 10 years and she had a sad expression.
I was loading my car at the time in the garden centre opposite our factory and was under a court injunction which she cleverly manipulated me into post bomb (she said she was scared of me,more like she was scared of herself) not to go to the factory,there was a metal fence in between us,she eventually turned around got in her car and made her way to the car park perimeter where the industrial waste bins are kept.
She got out of the car turned her back on me and started taking stuff out of the bins and putting back in and tidying and fussing about in the area all wearing designer clothes and I think she just wanted me to come over and have a go at her so I would be in breach of my injunction.

I was so sick of the sight of her and what she did to me post bomb drop I just drove off and went home,two weeks later I had a solicitors letter saying I was in breach of my injunction and I was harassing her,this was easily defended(at cost to me though) and the matter was brought up some months later in court (about a month before my trumped up injunction ended she took me back to court to try to get it extended) I arrived early at court and she was hiding away in one of the side briefing rooms as she was "scared" my solicitor arrived fashionably late as usual and was met by someone who was not her normal solicitor.

I asked who she was and was told she had hired a barrister (at great cost to extend the injunction)
We sat before the judge and my solicitor handed her barrister my defence statement which she looked at and got up and said to the judge "your honour we have not got a case"yay for me for once in this bizarre movie,the judge recommended because she said she was still"scared" poor thing that she go there by day mon-fir until 3pm and I after this time and all weekend yay for me I was finally getting some justice in this nightmare(I was still under the doctor at this time for depression and anxiety which took almost a year for me to recover enough to start thinking coherently again,no empathy from her she said "there was nothing wrong with me"take a look at yourself dear monster I thought are the time, after bomb drop I had a torrent of spew off her) when we left court I could see her arguing with her barrister ( probably cost £1500) for a few minutes in court) and my solicitor escorted me to my car for my safety not her and I drove past her with for the first time a massive smile on my face yay karma's a b..ch, I enquired while we were outside court why given my defence which was accepted by the judge why my first defence was rejected and I had the injunction in the first place she told me the first time she did not make one as there was insufficient time for her to get one together and I thought to my self what a crock of sh.t have I hired here.
While in court my betraying monster spouse dressed down from usual and acted the victim of the situation, for anyone new to this site do not trust them at all their guilt from what they done is targeted at you and they will destroy you if they can as if your dead they have nothing to feel guilty about anymore and can get on with their erratic lives in fairy land.

Regards Jackolar12

[in it]

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spycatcher/200912/the-body-language-the-eyes

It's a fascinating subject.

[in it]

Long Journey..Thanks for starting this thread!

Look into their eyes.

People who look to the sides a lot are nervous, lying, or distracted. However, if a person looks away from the speaker, it very well could be a comfort display or indicate submissiveness. Looking askance generally means the person is distrustful or unconvinced.

If someone looks down at the floor a lot, they are probably shy or timid. People also tend to look down when they are upset, or trying to hide something emotional. People are often thinking and feeling unpleasant emotions when they are in the process of staring at the ground.

Some cultures believe that looking at someone in the eyes is a sign of disrespect, or is only done with intimate friends or family, so this could explain why someone is avoiding eye contact with you.

Dilated pupils mean that the person is interested. Keep in mind, however, that many substances cause pupils to dilate, including alcohol, cocaine, amphetamines, MDMA, LSD and others. Don't mistake having a few drinks for attraction.

If their eyes seem focused far away, that usually indicates that a person is in deep thought or not listening.

[ArmySpouse]

 So I have a question and maybe somebody is able to answer it ..

 if I look into my husbands eyes -he doesn't connect .

 I have read some people refer to it as "dead eye look "- but I'm not sure if that is the right description ?
 you know when you usually look at somebody, in their eyes- they connect with you and you can clearly see that they see you . 
You interact ,you have a connection .

However with my husband: it looks like he is looking through me or above me or to the side- you cannot connect with them..it is like they are on another level so to speak.

My mother-in-law (who has gone through midlife crises with her late husband) said the exact same thing .
And people who have not gone through this don't understand what I'm talking about..

I just would like to know:

1)where does it come from??
is there a medical and scientific research done on this ?
2)what is the purpose for it?
3)where all those people??
4)Is it protecting them from something (like not feeling the emotional turmoil that there are causing and so to speak not to make him aware of the stuff that they're doing)??
5) is it only apparent in certain stages of the crises and goes away ??
6)And is it really not visible for anybody else but the people who know the true person before the crises ?(like the other woman or man)
 Like the other woman or man)
7)  is it beer all the time or only during certain circumstances like for example when monster comes out is visible or does it not matter ??

[Mmtl2015]

Great question
My W too has that same look. I feel I need to call a priest to exercise an evil spirit .

If I do make eye contact it's eary. Dark look in the eyes and a painful facial expression.

Most of the time W can't even look at me. Like too much guilt.

Once in a while when the mania has warn off , you can see pain and regret in their eyes. A glimpse of the person I once  knew , only with so much sorrow. Those eyes don't last long

Hopefully you find all your answers Armyspouse
God bless