Author Topic: MLC Monster Authentic material from MLC'er blog  (Read 22836 times)

Offline AlbatrossTopic starterTopic starter

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1424
  • Gender: Male
  • Lord, give me patience, but please hurry!
MLC Monster Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #20 on: June 21, 2013, 03:36:07 AM »
"Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Anniversary
I come today to bakery store.

- "Is' birthday?"
- "No. Anniversary my marriage!"
- "Aaa, nice !"

I watch those pictures, browse the full catalog, of course Sacher cake. I knew that before I came.

- "And can you write me something on the cake?"
- "Can. Course, only a minute to get a pen .... What to write?"
- "We only had 20!"
- "20 years of marriage?!?!?!?!"
- "Aha!"
- "Well, I can't believe that you have 20 years of marriage!"
- "Ma!'s What I am ordering my parents."
- "Aaa (relieved to be women). A. It can be."
- "Oh, no can not. How can? (I wonder how she byte that), I have 20-year anniversary. Me, Me!"

And what do you say more. Congratulated to my husband how he endured me all these years."


Yeah, I endure her all those years.... She looks to Young for her age.
« Last Edit: June 21, 2013, 03:37:18 AM by Albatross »

Offline AlbatrossTopic starterTopic starter

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1424
  • Gender: Male
  • Lord, give me patience, but please hurry!
Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #21 on: June 21, 2013, 10:33:49 AM »
"Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Emotional Intelligence
I read about emotional intelligence what ever I find about it. If you think that I will now write something smart, obviously, You don't know me :)

Me as arrogant and self-confident, I always thought I was very emotionally sensitive and completely mediocre in attitude and behavior, just as with everyone around me is not exactly all in place. I am tolerant and all the principle: "Don't do others what you don't want they do to You," the people I gently held at a distance, even though I have lots of acquaintances, the tone of society, always with good mood and happy people, sociable ... Miracle women.

And I feel somehow lonely.

I do test, so it said that I'm asocial. Beg pardon?!?

*******

Stop and think about it .....

*******

Extinguished, drag and think ...

*******

Pull it again, sets in and think .....

********

And, of course, you guessed it, shook my hand and I say to myself: "They have no clue !"


But worm doubt lies somewhere cringing, and with every new word, each new, no matter how small the conflict, reprehensible and criticism addressed to some other people out of my mind ... I realized. Yeah, I'm asocial.

I stop, turn off, pull up, sets in - not looking for anyone, I do not need anybody, do not scream and call for help. I do each trouble all by myself standing up for everything to going on my back. And emotions are captured and chained, jealously keep them for myself.

*********

And today colleague told me today: "You looking sad."
"No, I'm just angry !"

It's easier to be angry than sad."


Introvert with emotions, for outside you can't spot her emotions. But she is charming, cheerful, always smile.
Does she shooting down her sensors because of MLC ?

« Last Edit: June 21, 2013, 10:43:07 AM by Albatross »

Offline AlbatrossTopic starterTopic starter

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1424
  • Gender: Male
  • Lord, give me patience, but please hurry!
Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #22 on: June 21, 2013, 11:01:23 AM »
"Sunday, August 24, 2008
My valve is stuck
There are days, and he knows it take, when my soul stuck valve, so that in me just deposited some faceless sludge somehow ambivalent emotions that their coating overshadow the happy moments. No they for some reason, but then again, there are a million reasons. And so I stand and I think the way out of me everything before I choked. And before become difficult to breathe. And before I sink.

But I see no way out and do not know where to start.

I will like to turn everything upside down in one stroke, sort of a roll table full of messy clutter, wet after last night's revelry and places burned with half smoked cigarettes. I like to turn everything up side down and go the other way. I like to change apartment and the city and business.

But I stand. I let the mud deposited.

And this my valve does not working ..."

She wont change self and on that way better cope with reality. And she gradually being swallowed and lost control of self, losing identity, being passive and just react. Shadow refuse to suppress anymore.  Resentment ?
« Last Edit: June 21, 2013, 11:20:52 AM by Albatross »

Offline AlbatrossTopic starterTopic starter

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1424
  • Gender: Male
  • Lord, give me patience, but please hurry!
Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #23 on: June 22, 2013, 05:03:50 AM »
"Sunday, September 28, 2008
... still clogged
    Too bad I can not write haiku, because as much as I have just said to fit into such a form. Thus we remain to word a few empty sentences, after which you will understand that and still have nothing to say. And to my philosophy of life: "when you're in a bad mood, stay away from people," reads this blog and languishing waiting."

It is day after her birthday. Every birthday she have depression.

Offline AlbatrossTopic starterTopic starter

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1424
  • Gender: Male
  • Lord, give me patience, but please hurry!
Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #24 on: June 27, 2013, 09:05:17 AM »
"Wednesday, November 5, 2008
I can't have it...
... Past every days on the radio hit me into the soul one great song:

Once I pass along you as light
I only blink and then lost my self
You will walk up wind of each side
To find your shining star
And I'll spill my soul over the sea
when see overflow over cold rocks
there where sink all my desire
When you aren't here for me...

to be my whole world I can't stand it
and when I be hurt I will hold tight my teeth and will not let scream like bird
when all what I like and what I dream I can't have it
I can't have it. I can't have it.

Recently someone on TV said that a man can do everything, end up being respected and successful man, but if his children did not do anything, all he has labored. Honestly, it is heartless, but I have to say that the I currently does not experience that. Maybe because I feel that I am in my life has made everything I did, despite my parents, because I certainly did not ended the way they wanted. More and I'm not trying to prove that I was just important that I am happy with the outcome of these, and they let think.

Also watch their children squirm and despite me going to some of his chosen path. Neither I probably will not be happy with their choices, but let them be. I only hope that it leads the way to their happiness.

And what does that have to do with the song???

To be my whole world I can't stand it...

He not cry because his children aren't engineers, doctors, architects. He don't cry because he nor his children have villas on plots and expensive yachts moored in a marina. Crying because he aren't with his love.

Because I'd at least spill my soul over cold rocks if You aren't here for me.

And the rest of you, what ever you want. :)

(Hello my husband !)"


There is one great but very sad song about man who sing about his sorrow because he lost love of life.
She made point about every parent doubt and  conclude that her life without me is worthless... And now this MLC crap ! Go figure !
« Last Edit: June 27, 2013, 09:10:44 AM by Albatross »

Offline AlbatrossTopic starterTopic starter

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1424
  • Gender: Male
  • Lord, give me patience, but please hurry!
Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #25 on: June 28, 2013, 11:13:31 AM »
"Wednesday, January 7, 2009
compromise residual
Well, I have already several times made link on the my friend blog (btw, I've never told her that she ahve a real inspiration for blog name), and the reason is that she have somehow different view of the world, and her writings makes me think. I guess the reason is that we are almost same generation, so we think about similar stuff.

Well, I was thinking after reading to present myself to strangers around me. I did not like it because of what I listed would be just a series of compromises that I did not making a lot of what I wanted. Compromise with money, a compromise with the working hours, fatigue and weather reports. Compromises with family, neighbors and friends.

And the greater the rate what I did not done than what I done, and all that could be packed together better.

And my husband will ask me, what is it that I missed? Only what I remember now is that I never, absolutely never walked through the meadow by storm and rain which wet my cloth to the skin. "Because it's not time for a walk."

I never went alone to swim, because "it sucks left all family at home."

I never took a day off just to walking trough city alone.

Happily married, I would say, a mother of two semi wild children decently busy, with lots of friends, with excellent colleagues. I even have a dog. And eyes fixed somewhere in the wilderness ..."


She questioning again her life. And even she in that time does not find something big which she wanna to do. Anyway she mention before list, done and what is not done, but later whole list was in several lines. She obviously chose to have decent life full of love for own family, and she wondering what will be in case that she come after "bigger" goals... Maybe she chose bad. Superego - ego -id... Identity ?

Offline AlbatrossTopic starterTopic starter

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1424
  • Gender: Male
  • Lord, give me patience, but please hurry!
Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #26 on: June 29, 2013, 10:38:08 AM »
"Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Sheep
Favorite show on TV - fruits of the earth. Almost.

Increasingly catch in my mind that I live in a remote area, in a small village, and yet not in it, but on the edge of it. In a small house in flowers is a private business. Just like a true entrepreneur.

Flock of some 30 sheep's and I do not care for the profitability, viability, profitability and graphs of growth and development. I do not care for the placement on the market and quality of products. I do not care.

In the morning I go into a pasture with sheep, and this I hear them bleating. Bleee, bleee, bleee...

I think that the social level of the society would not have lost anything. Anyway around me almost all in the same tone - beeeeeee ......"


Nothing special she post in year 2009. But her birthday is like always inner rethinking, covert depression. At end of year 2009 no any posts like before before Christmas and New Year eve.

Offline AlbatrossTopic starterTopic starter

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1424
  • Gender: Male
  • Lord, give me patience, but please hurry!
Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #27 on: June 29, 2013, 10:56:23 AM »
"Thursday, June 10, 2010
Einstein among pigs
Headline: Animal Farm

I imagine it would be like on the farm (and any resemblance to actual TV creation is completely associative, exclusively) put 17 pigs and Einstein.

From the perspective of Einstein would have been quite clear that he got in $hit.

From the perspective of pigs, he would be a being obviously different from them, but not significantly different. Look at the fool how look like his haircut. But he is stupid, he do not know how snout in the mud. He do not know anything of what we know and he blabbering some nonsense.

From the perspective of the people who would eventually watched from his chair, thinking to oscillated proportionally intelligence. They which intelligence is closer to pigs the opinion would have been a close perspective pigs. Those who have intelligence was closer to Einstein, they would not even watch. Ha!
 
And I've written the title, to this line, changed the course of thought and said what in the beginning I did not mean to. I was going to just draw a parallel with my status in my former firm. But as my confidence quite shaken, I have to go to hedge before a final conclusion. So, I'm not even close to Einstein, nor are they there were pigs. I'm a little all stretched to get a contrast that all easy to spot. But I've certainly been thinking and acting at least three steps ahead of them, but I could not understand. And no matter how I simplified everything, no matter how I tried, no matter how they adapted, for them, I was just - a little different, but not essential.

Now the bureau with them more than 300 000 And one of my pig rubbing their hands: - whatever good we are and resolve. Anyway, was not for our collective.

Oh, thank God I did not!"


She get fired from her first job. She left next company by self and take job elsewhere. There she works only 2 months and find another job. This post is from company where she fired. Anyway there You can see how she can't blend with society well. She have to show that she is different and on that way bring negative attention from others... Nevertheless, she is not adaptive. She was without job until end of year 2010. Only two posts in year 2010. This year no post even on her birthday ! No posts before Christmas & New Year.
« Last Edit: June 29, 2013, 10:58:04 AM by Albatross »

Offline AlbatrossTopic starterTopic starter

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1424
  • Gender: Male
  • Lord, give me patience, but please hurry!
Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #28 on: June 29, 2013, 11:17:01 AM »
"Tuesday, April 12, 2011
When I will be retired ...
... I'll have a little house with a huge garden and a bunch of flowers.

And I had a bunch of flowers, I planted it in the garden.

And that I'd planted in the garden, I have the garden around the home to arrange.

And to arranged it, you first have to build a house.

And that I had built, I have to win the lottery.

Because, although I will tomorrow get up and go (ma with gusto, though) to work, I will never afford that house with garden with my salary anyway."


She can't stand it anymore, work, family, friends, neighbors. She thinks if she move in village, it will solve all her problems, what is wrong of course.

Offline AlbatrossTopic starterTopic starter

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1424
  • Gender: Male
  • Lord, give me patience, but please hurry!
Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #29 on: June 29, 2013, 11:28:01 AM »
"Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Mountaineering
On the occasion of my birthday yesterday. :)

Rounded by the whole 45, and since I do not live more than 90 (studying people in these later years), I passed a half.

And as I like to think I climbed to the top of the mountain. Difficult, steep, turbulent, hard, but now I'm on top and somehow we seem to have a crystalline look at everything around you. And that lasted a little longer, I collapsed because I no longer have the strength of will as in the past. And it's nice up, this is worth climbing.

But as I climbed I imagined the other side just as steep as this, which I climbed. Now I see that it is not so and I'll be able to easily and quietly descend back to the sea. At least what I can see, is a mild slope. Maybe I will meet some obstacles, but I did not care too much.

Let's move on."


Again post at her birthday. Seems all well, but was NOT ! She was actually start to detach emotionally between her birthday and New Year. I did ask her where and with who we will celebrate New Year, but she was not interested at all. At last two of us watch TV alone and she start to cry after we hit midnight. I did ask her why she crying ? She refuse talking about..." I consider that as bomb drop, despite she haven't any affair.

 

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk
Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.