Author Topic: MLC Monster Authentic material from MLC'er blog  (Read 23011 times)

Offline AlbatrossTopic starterTopic starter

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MLC Monster Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #10 on: June 16, 2013, 02:32:03 PM »
"Friday, June 1, 2007
Time travelers ...
I write this as a dash for thought.

Have you ever entertained and kill the time (while drizzling rain outside just enough to prevent you from riding a bike), thinking it would still be that at some point you have decided differently??? For example, I like to go back in time, which is one of the great crossroads of my life - going to college. I lived in XXXX, and in spite of all the members of my family, I  decided to study in YYYY, and not in ZZZZ.

I decided otherwise I now lived in this his small stone alley that sometimes we can be so inspiring, and sometimes terribly exhausting. I'd met a man with whom I spend the last 20 years. My daughter would not be so capricious as it is, a son talker on the days it is impossible to silence. I would not do the job which I do, because I took the time in who knows what direction.

And at that crossroads I carefully balancing everything I wanted to be, everything in my life important and what I want to achieve. And none of these did not turn out that way. Probably if I went the other way, the same way things would turn out like that.

Maybe I live in the continent, and yet my heart cried out to seacoast.
Maybe my husband was the owner of a large corporation and so dedicated that had not arrived at the children's birthdays, so my heart burgeoned for by walking with him in hand.
Maybe my children were successful and hardworking schoolchildren, playing piano, engaged in sports, going to the theater, but I could possibly heart burgeoned for rampant smiles in the evening, just when they have to sleep.
Maybe I would have finished college and teach high school students, but my heart burgeoned for some kind of creative work.
Maybe I was socially engaged in a variety of organizations and contributed to socially useful work, but would you maybe cried for this blog. (Yea, right !)

Maybe ...

But now I live and how I live, and my heart does not even crying for sea, either for money or for ambition, or for a career, even for a high position in society. And yet I feel so happy, loved, successful and recognized in their own little world.

Am I kidding my self, maybe ???
Or I'm really happy, maybe ??
And small thing for my heart still cries is important, maybe ??"


She questioning crossroads in her life. What will be if she study in different city. How will then look her life ? Maybe she will have different, better life and she will do not have what I bring to her, LOVE; LOVE; LOVE... I am damn  romantic ! So this is so devastating for me. I put whole my life energy in my family ! An unfortunately I get this, my whole life can be smashed to the ground...
« Last Edit: June 16, 2013, 02:34:31 PM by Albatross »

Offline AlbatrossTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #11 on: June 17, 2013, 12:04:59 AM »
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Divided people
- Where are You in these days ?
- Come on, do not upset me. You are the guilty one.
- Why?
- You do not leave me any time for me.
- I'm doing just what I have to. You fight for Your own.
- It is easy to say, but I'm already a long time ago last in place, and you're constantly spend all reserves.
- This times are rough, I have to working, earning, ..
- That's right. But what is the meaning of that when You leave me no spaces. In these days, I did not live at all.
- But I am.
- It is on your and mine expense.
- You are right, but I do not have any from your philosophizing. Do you have a solution?
- I might come up with something that you at least make some pause for a moment and let me I do mine "work".
- Yeah, you started to "work off" things to ?
- Indeed. Go figure !
- Think!
- I do not really understand. Like we playing for different teams, we should share the day !
- What can we do when the day is not enough only for my part. When? How?
- In fact, I do not know. But I told you so you need to recharge my batteries, and to relax, recharge life satisfaction ...
- Yes, I do not know why we now wasting time for this discussion ?
- And that's my job. I'm trying to explain that you can not just work and sleep.
- ... and discuss.
- You become wicked. Yeah right someone will erected a monument for You because you work to much ?
- I'm not stupid.
- It seems to me that you are.
- Logic and facts are on my side.
- Logic - I doubt it. Each machine has a lifetime. You'll spend your in a much shorter time than should be. Let me do my stuff. We'll live together.
- OK. Why don't you write something ? That will be great.
- It would be, when would you leave me a alone.
- What should I do??? I'm used to do some action.
- Wait a minute, take a deep breath and leave me in peace.
- You should make a dinner.
- Come on, Get away from me!
- Oh You are so nervous.
- ...
- Write, nobody stop You.
- ...
- I am waiiiting.
- ...
- Well, after you will say that I do not give You a peace, I will not bother You anymore.
- ...
- ...

So I (inside it) sitting, watching, talking to itself (the outside) and I have no idea what to do. A day was ...


What to say ? Contradiction between ego and persona. To much accommodation between ego and persona. Denial of problems. Rejection & refusal.

Offline AlbatrossTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #12 on: June 17, 2013, 05:23:21 AM »
"25.6.2007
dandelion
In front of the school there was an indescribable noise, like every spring morning. It was already hot, and although only the beginning of April (the year 1983  ::) ), felt that all perked up and the school near the end. Their thoughts were far away from the school bench. A big pause between classes was always a time when You seek your crush and use any excuse for a meaningful or less meaningful question.

he was lost somewhere and did not help that he was the highest in the class, and quite possibly in the whole school. There was a good and a wide field of view, but in vain scanned the area. He simply disappeared somewhere.

Bell has ripped through the air, aroused the crowd sighs and triggered an avalanche of pupils up the stairs. All roads lead to classrooms. Next in line was a biology teacher and was always first in the class. He shuffled to the bench, sat down and took the book in hand to take a look. Anyway he wont study at home anyway, he did not feel like that. Yellow dandelion on the bench distract his reading. He looked up, saw her, and she told him:

"Happy Birthday!"

***

And who would not be quoted by the famous sentence that ends the movie "Casablanca": - "This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship!" Dandelion is still yellow. Sometimes, occasionally, rarely, but happy and warm. She today writes own blog, which he regularly reads. He was angry because nothing about him on this blog... So it is here now !"


A lot nostalgic articles from her childhood appear on her blog. About ordinary things, about grendma, friends, parents, neighbors from childhood. I use this one because MLC-ers always going to remember and think about old flames. He was her first boyfriend and they was together 3-4 years.
« Last Edit: June 17, 2013, 05:25:02 AM by Albatross »

Offline AlbatrossTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #13 on: June 17, 2013, 06:04:20 AM »
"Friday, July 27, 2007
Reading, stealing other people's thoughts and thinking ...
I found something interesting on someone blog:

"I admire people who know what they want and go right to it. I know what I wont and imagining that it is quite good for someone like me."

Never in my life I'm not clear at all times know what I want. Just so beautiful and interesting spots you should examine and try before deciding. Life is precious to think I once weighed and only one lived.

I'm always in my life know clearly what I wont. What I have tested and tried, and of which I am not feeling well.

Whenever travel, I am enjoy traveling and when crossing the finish line is not the fulfillment and happiness, but the completion of travel, and the endings I don't like if was nice traveling to them.

And maybe someone think that I am ball in a pinball machine, chaotic, restless and lost, to go where the situation pushed me, reject, spin, shoved ... It just seems that I do not know where I was going and that my path does not lead anywhere.

But I can not going to a goal. I travel and I enjoy. Explore, wander, through rainy, but the sun and warmth. Sometimes on my way to the night and fog, sometimes rain and storms, sometimes calm, quiet, stuffy, noisy, sad. Sometimes I walk, sometimes I run, sometimes I sit on a rock to rest. Lose it, and again I find. Because I do not want to reach the goal. I want to travel.

And sometimes I stop and look at those runners that go straight. I take a plastic cup and add water to them. :) They will need them. This is a tedious way. There will be those where they are going. Come they will safely and quickly. So who is to blame them. Their problem."


She does not know who she is and what she want from life, except happiness. Everybody wanna be happy. But if someone does not know what will make him happy, how other people then know how to make them happy ? Obviously she never had well defined identity.

Offline AlbatrossTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #14 on: June 18, 2013, 04:15:41 AM »
"Monday, November 19, 2007
The hothouse effect
You polluted my mind, fellow bloggers. I do not think too literally, especially not derogatory, but somehow I can not meet with itself. Constantly on the head toss and turn other people's dilemmas, problems, unpleasant events, failed love, problems at work ...

I wonder what I'll be when it comes menopause and knocks on the door ?  I wonder who will be my next boss-type manipulator. I wonder who's going to knock on my doors of the house if I paint it in pink ? I wonder how to control dopamine and testosterone ? I wonder how I threw out all my love when I was left ?

Swirling my image of mountain, the pigs in position 69, various acts, lighted candles for victims which died in war.

And it all seems to have something clever to add, if I could change something, do it better ... somehow ... Yea, right ! ... Leave comments ...

And when stuck and when to reset the brain and restart the entire system spinning in the minds of some stupid words hellllllo, kisssssss...

Uffff!

start

Shut Down

What do you want the computer to do?


Die!"


I have nothing to comment on this, right ?

Offline AlbatrossTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #15 on: June 19, 2013, 01:06:46 AM »
"Wednesday, September 26, 2007
sadness

How many times You pretend to be a happy and smiling, even You a haven't a valid reason?

How many times when someone ask question from you, respond with a smile and insincere just to avoid further questions?

How many times have you said "I feel great !" and lie ?


And how many times have you said, "I'm sad" and lie ?

The latter most likely never lied because sadness is kind of feeling that you can not and do not want to act. The feeling that you only have when grief simply grabs You. When you are sad, you are sincerely and as whole being just sad.

I love my sorrow.

So I sing to my sorrow:

"Good morning, sorrow!
Where are you until now ?
I have not seen you for a long time beside me.
To remind me to who you dream of
so that it breaks me apart because of of jealousy. ""


Late night before her birthday. She felt depressed every her birthday. Mortality. Questioning past life. Pay attention on bold text. Pretending happiness ? Denial. Rejection. Refusal. Also she become quite optimistic at Christmas, but depressed at Yew Year.
« Last Edit: June 19, 2013, 01:10:05 AM by Albatross »

Offline AlbatrossTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #16 on: June 19, 2013, 10:26:50 AM »
CHRISTMAS & NEW YEAR WISHES

Sunday, December 23, 2007
I wish you ...
... Wisdom enough that you can always things to look for at least two sides. Wisdom enough to realize that you are not center of the universe. Wisdom enough to love unconditionally.
Comments:
26.12.2007. 10:59:55 My wife
All people I really love. When I love, I love forever. I can get away and retreat, and they can hurt me and I don't fight back, but I still love anyway. In myself, quiet and peaceful, but forever.
24.12.2007. 13:11:21 My wife
I love unconditionally.


Interesting indeed ! She loves unconditionally. Now is not, how can be that ? Only because of MLC.

I wish you ...
... that you leave all the fears, anxieties of those small to large and terrible blocking. From those of the ordinary small mouse jumping on a chair screaming, to those hidden and complicated for you might not know it, you do not understand, but they are there. Cowards die a hundred times, the brave only once.

I wish you ...
... to sleep the sleep of innocence. When you lie down in a warm bed that you come to think only happy thoughts, just nice people and happy events. Some concerns go sleep somewhere else and leave you to your dreams run dewy meadows, fly open, thaw in kisses. And the one next to you who sometimes stay awake to watch you while you sleep, and let them enjoy the serene face and smile.

I wish you ...
... to give you a future rain wash all the bitterness, moodiness, anger, nervousness, the accumulated years of the soul. And to give you a future storm blew sarcasm, irony, jealousy from the heart. So that free and easy feel the beauty of life.


Very indicative ! That is in her.

I wish you ...
... that at least at times, remember how to be a child.
Run barefoot on the sandy beach.
Roll the lawn, even if you all cloth become green of grass,
Collect dry leaves, shells, pretty stones, sticks of ice cream, banana stickers and similar important stuff.
Lie on a bench in the park and count stars.
Cry for dead cat which you see on the road.
Cut the newspaper each picture which you like.
Eat a ton of chocolate instead of lunch.
Drink water after the soup.
And be sure to kiss your teddy bear at bedtime.


This are small things from her childhood which made her happy. Nostalgic.

I wish you ...
... to whom you sing:

          "It is wonderful to be something to someone.
             It is wonderful to be all to you ! "

But do not forget - love is what you give. Only then heats, burns, and sometimes pains.

I wish you ...
... you always have someone close to you for a warm hug. When times are hard for You, and after all go down, when you want to disappear, to escape. That You have someone to hug. And his dear voice calm You down and his familiar smell give you the strength to go on.


It is from her perspective in that time me.

Offline Rebel Yell

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Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #17 on: June 19, 2013, 04:32:19 PM »
Hey buddy, here is a post from my wife's blog over 3 years ago.

So many thoughts and ideas swirl around in my head that its hard to even know what to write. I find myself feeling so restrained, as if everything I say and do must be guarded. I long to break free and just be myself and not be concerned with what someone else might think or how I might be judged because of what I think, what I say or how I feel. Who am I really? What do I want out of life? Where am I going? So strange to feel so lost at times. I must admit I often wonder if I'm just losing my mind. Where is that powerful charismatic person that use to look back at me from the mirror? What happened to her? Why is it now that I feel like I've lost control of everything?
HE>i

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Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #18 on: June 21, 2013, 03:04:10 AM »
Hey buddy, here is a post from my wife's blog over 3 years ago.

So many thoughts and ideas swirl around in my head that its hard to even know what to write. I find myself feeling so restrained, as if everything I say and do must be guarded. I long to break free and just be myself and not be concerned with what someone else might think or how I might be judged because of what I think, what I say or how I feel. Who am I really? What do I want out of life? Where am I going? So strange to feel so lost at times. I must admit I often wonder if I'm just losing my mind. Where is that powerful charismatic person that use to look back at me from the mirror? What happened to her? Why is it now that I feel like I've lost control of everything?

Thank You fro Your respond bro. It is quite similar writing what my wife done.

Offline AlbatrossTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Authentic material from MLC'er blog
« Reply #19 on: June 21, 2013, 03:20:36 AM »
"Friday, February 8, 2008
I choose to be happy
It is much easier to be a failure, but be successful. Simply don't do anything.
It is much easier to be rude, but be polite. Simply do not work on self.
It is much easier to be sloppy, but be neat. Simply be a pig.
It is much easier to be stupid, but be smart. Simply do not engage the brain.

...

It is much easier to be unhappy than to be happy. Simply not trying.

So I think that there are people who choose to be unhappy, no matter what others THINK about it. Because it's unfortunate the same as being lazy for themselves, for others lazy, lazy to take the trouble, lazy that you change something. Because, when you kind of thinking leads to the situation that you are unhappy, then you this same way of thinking can not be plucked up out of that state. They should, therefore, change attitudes.

But it is much easier convince your self that you're marked and ill-starred born, because what it does and then try anyway when all leads to destruction. I'll just sit back in bed and drink - posters - smoke - lap - taking drugs - to fall into depression - taking those pills - cry - Despair (choose something for themselves) and so look for the rest of your life, which anyway does not lead anywhere. Buaaaa! Tears running down her face.

There's is no lucky stars. There is only uncertainty, fear, disbelief, low self-esteem and SELF-RESPECT. There is no love for himself, nor for anyone around him.

It is much easier to be unsuccessful, be sloppy, stupid and miserable.


WOHOOOOOO ! I can't believe that she wrote this. xD Now she is total mess."
« Last Edit: June 21, 2013, 03:26:48 AM by Albatross »

 

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