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Author Topic: Discussion Ask a Mentor 4

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Discussion Re: Ask a Mentor 4
#40: June 24, 2013, 10:47:34 AM
I agree with R2T in that you should just do it.  However, use that as a good time to set a boundary for yourself and the repercussions if she does it again.  Make sure you are clear in stating that this is not acceptable to you.

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Re: Ask a Mentor 4
#41: June 24, 2013, 11:15:34 AM
Quote from: Slow Fade on June 21, 2013, 10:00:08 PM
I really think that when he gets scared about interacting with me so much he has to throw out a comment about being "done" just in case I get the wrong impression!
I get that kind of phrase too. H prefaced my birthday present with " Don't think this changes the way I feel about you. We still have issues!"
Am assuming that it's part of the script/ process etc......
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BD march 2013
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Separated 2022 (my choice because he wanted to live alone) and yet fully reconnected seeing each other often.
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Re: Ask a Mentor 4
#42: June 24, 2013, 11:53:30 AM
Quote
Am assuming that it's part of the script/ process etc......

Yes, definitely.  Mine said it too, particularly in the year or so post BD. 
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Re: Ask a Mentor 4
#43: June 24, 2013, 03:35:41 PM
New question. My H and I are living apart for the summer. I'm taking some marriage courses. Should I tell him?  We text daily and see each other occasionally so we're not in a bad place right now.
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The very purpose of our life is happiness, which is sustained by hope. We have no guarantee about the future, but we exist in the hope of something better. Hope means keeping going, thinking, ‘I can do this.’ It brings inner strength, self-confidence, the ability to do what you do honestly, truthfully and transparently.  The Dalai Lama
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Re: Ask a Mentor 4
#44: June 24, 2013, 03:59:09 PM
Quote
I'm taking some marriage courses. Should I tell him?

I wouldn't.  That would probably feel like pressure to him - it doesn't take much for an MLCer to feel pressure. 
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Re: Ask a Mentor 4
#45: June 24, 2013, 07:54:33 PM
Quote from: trusting on June 24, 2013, 03:59:09 PM
Quote
I'm taking some marriage courses. Should I tell him?

I wouldn't.  That would probably feel like pressure to him - it doesn't take much for an MLCer to feel pressure.


I intellectually understand the no pressure rule .... What's really going on that freaks them out so much.
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with hate and no forgiveness, there's no hope or chance

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Re: Ask a Mentor 4
#46: June 25, 2013, 04:55:26 PM
I'm just posting asking to get some attention over on my thread... boohoohoo, having a moment  :'( :'( :'(

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3670.0;all
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Re: Ask a Mentor 4
#47: June 25, 2013, 08:01:53 PM
Ok, I'm following Alwayshope with the same request. I have a situation that I need some help with on my thread!!  :-\

I hate MLC!

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3638.0
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« Last Edit: June 27, 2013, 08:00:33 AM by OldPilot »
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Re: Ask a Mentor 4
#48: June 27, 2013, 07:28:03 AM
Quote from: Slow Fade on June 25, 2013, 08:01:53 PM
Ok, I'm following Alwayshope with the same request. I have a situation that I need some help with on my thread!!  :-\

I hate MLC!

Please link to your thread...

Edited the post with the link - Oldpilot
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« Last Edit: June 27, 2013, 08:01:16 AM by OldPilot »
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Re: Ask a Mentor 4
#49: June 27, 2013, 09:28:23 AM
Hi,
Could someone point me in the direction of high energy/low energy replayers threads and/or articles please?
Than you very much x
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'Nothing worth having comes easy'
BD oct 1st 2012. 2 teens- 2 Dogs. Together 16 years, not married. No OW in sight. Foo issues a go-go.
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