[alwayshope]

That book idea is fantastic!!!!

[2.roads]

Dear H,

Funny...after knowing you for almost 25 years, for the first time since I met you I find myself at a loss for what to say to you.

I know I had LOTS to say in the first months after you moved out. I was shocked and afraid and devastated and I thought if I could just get through to your heart then you would realize what a mistake you were making and stop running. I could not understand how you could walk away from your family with hardly a backward glance.

In my heart I knew there was another woman...but it took me a year to have that confirmed. And the day I told you I knew the truth you acted so smug...as though you were kind of happy to be caught and proud for me to know that you were "man" enough to get such a "good woman" as you called her.

I tried once or twice after that to talk sense into you. I got spewed on with all your seemingly unending venom...so I stopped trying to talk sense into you. I finally realized that if you don't wake up every day and look over at that stranger in your bed and say " What the h*ll have I done?!?! " ...then you are either ignoring your conscience or you don't have one anymore...

I know we had ups and downs in our marriage and in our family. We came into marriage with baggage from our childhoods and then to be the parents of 3 sons with ADHD...not easy!! But we had always faced every challenge and I thought we were doing better than ever. I wish I had been able to see what lie under the surface in you...after your first Bomb drop of 2008 I had a pretty good idea.

I don't hate you. I hate what you've done. But most of the time I feel sorry for someone who has made a royal mess of his life. You've lost your kids' respect, most of your friends, a lot of your money, and your reputation. All for a woman who has already been divorced twice and has slept with countless other men. 

But when the dust settles and I can think without the crap from your crisis clouding my vision I realize that a part of me will always love you.

I believed that we were MEANT to be together....the way we met was just too amazing. And I am ever thankful or each of our 4 kids. I am sad that you didn't see out family as something worth saving. But we will be ok...better than ok.

I hope that someday soon you open your heart to the truth and to God. I hope that He restores your integrity and honor and that when it happens it's not too late to repair the damage that has been done. Until that day we will pray for from afar and give you the space to live with your decisions.

~ME~

[2.roads]

JB...maybe it can be a joint effort by the LBS's here...our kids can contribute and we can ask people in RL to be a part of it too. 

[Wed2Him?Whatever.]

Dearest darling exH,

For anything that ever goes wrong for you for the rest of your life you will know exactly why it is happening and be able to say This is because I sh!t on my wife.

For all the positive things that will come your way, you will have to admit to yourself I was willing to sh!t on my wife to get this.

So enjoy that.

You've earned it.

[Songanddance]

Dear H,
When we met 26 years ago I fell in love with you and you with me.
We met a few times in the same hobby and then you took me to the pub where I just looked you in the eyes trembling and shaking; I took a gamble  and said “It’s all your fault”

You and I both knew that it was your fault that we had fallen in love and you kissed me so softly. That was all we needed.

26 years passed, 3 children, a fabulous home, a thriving business, a successful career, an unbelievable group of friends and still enjoying the same hobbies together.

I hurt you badly 15 years ago and I will always regret that, but when you asked me why I said “ It’s all my fault!” and I meant it.

Now after that fateful day, when you told me that you no longer loved me and that you had met someone else and you have chosen to destroy our family and break my heart, I find myself saying yet again but in the saddest way possible…
“It’s all your fault”

I adore you and believe in the man I fell in love with. I don’t know what each day will bring, but one day I dream and visualise that when we reconcile we can smile and say “It’s all our fault”.
For then we will know that we will never have to say it again except in laughter and love.

Me x

[1994]

Oh Wow....you guys are making me cry too!!

I am amazed at the capacity you all have for love, even though by this point that should not surprise me at all....I've been on HS long enough to know the quality of the people on here is second to none.

I HOPE and PRAY that someday you get the chance to share these thoughts with your MLCer and more importantly I hope they really HEAR what you are saying.

For a while now, I've been thinking of compiling a book of letters written by the children of divorce (people of any age ) and calling it "I Didn't Just Get Over It". An opportunity for them to share how their parents divorce impacted them. And then those letters should be required reading for anyone thinking about divorce or separating. 

Truly, there HAS to be something missing in our spouses hearts, for them to be able to hurt and reject people with the love that you all have.

I think this is fantastic...

Seriously I'd love to see this. 

There is so much Oprah/cosmo bs pop culture psychology being tossed around

My favorite script is "a child from 2 happy homes is better than one from an unhappy home" (proven to be wrong)

[calamity]

Strongwind mentioned on her thread that she wanted to talk to her h.  I used to write letters to him but never hit send.  Here's a thread for things you want/wanted/may never be able to say.  No swearing or trash talk!  You can write with expletives but file those letters away.

Mine are:

If it's early onset dementia, I'm not taking you back.

Who has the 'little life' now?

Seriously--you are doing unredeemable emotional damage to your d.

You never even tried!

You never stopped seeing her...don't lie, there's proof.

Is this what you call a father?

P.S.  Um, reading this, I'm sensing I still have a little anger.

[crazyjourney]

You blew it pal.

Its not my mess to fix, do you believe in miracles.

I would love our family back in one piece, but how can we do that now.

I don't know what I want or how I feel anymore.

x

[An angels daughter]

How can you live with yourself?

I sleep well at night knowing I have never cheated, lied, or broke our vows...

The devastation you are causing is not repairable

Your children will always look at you the way you look at your father...and they will have no respect for you

I cannot believe what you have done to me and our beautiful innocent children

[in it]

I just wanted to commet..that I have no comment
What I'd like to say and have happen?
I just won't go into it. 

I think this is GREAT THREAD let loose!