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Author Topic: Discussion Ask a Mentor 5

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Discussion Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#110: July 23, 2013, 11:44:30 PM
Panda,

I have this worry too that my two sons will do the same when they're older but I don't think there's anything we can do to stop that happening. I have just tried to be the best parent I can be on my own and be there for them.

Showing compassion, love and forgiveness. What else can we do? Perhaps others my have answers to this?!?

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Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#111: July 24, 2013, 03:09:23 AM
I think we can stop it happening in a variety of ways. Firstly we are the ones to help our Ss and Ds come through this positively and encouraged to talk, share and deal with FOO issues.
Secondly - we need to lobby hard the medical profession and get it to take this condition as seriously as menopause. The knock on effect is probably actually greater.
Thirdly we need to lobby hard the counselling/psychiatric/ psychological professions to take this seriously so that they can provide proper support for LBSs and LBKs.
Sometimes action from those that are involved will create results. I have a friend who fed up of a particular event happening to her (nothing personal) started a lobby group, set up a forum and recently was in Houses of Parliament advising the govt dept responsible for this. They take her seriously and insurance companies are now acting upon her advice.
It is possible, but to do that we need to become public and unfortunately none of us want to do that really. But perhaps we can do the first one.
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Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#112: July 24, 2013, 03:44:01 AM
You have a point Songanddance.  We are certainly gaining in numbers here on this forum as more and more find us when searching the web for answers.
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Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#113: July 24, 2013, 01:02:41 PM
**New Question**

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get H to leave? Or possible signs that he is ready to leave/run?

He doesn't talk about leaving at all  :o I mentioned that maybe I should leave; definitely doesn't want that either. I feel stuck in limbo here. I did set some boundaries regarding OW; it is now going to be more difficult for him but he insists on the relationship.
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OW1 confirmed - December 2012 on-and-off for 34 months and counting (still refers to her as just a 'friend')
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I moved out - April 2015
H is still checking the anchor
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Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#114: July 24, 2013, 01:38:16 PM
Me too - this is also my problem...
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Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#115: July 24, 2013, 01:47:45 PM
Quote from: Songanddance on July 24, 2013, 01:38:16 PM
Me too - this is also my problem...

Hang in there Songanddance  ;D Someone will be able to guide us.
I just don't get the whole "i love you and won't leave you, etc" when they have already left, at least emotionally. Is that they don't be the bad guy? S onganddance, do you get this from H too? Our situations seem so much alike it is spooky.
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We all do damage. Character is determined by how we repair it.


BD - December 2012
OW1 confirmed - December 2012 on-and-off for 34 months and counting (still refers to her as just a 'friend')
Wants to live like roommates - November 2013
I moved out - April 2015
H is still checking the anchor
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Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#116: July 24, 2013, 01:54:21 PM
War of the Roses comes to mind :-\
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Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#117: July 24, 2013, 02:02:27 PM
Quote from: booboo64 on July 24, 2013, 01:54:21 PM
War of the Roses comes to mind :-\

OMG, I hope it doesn't come to that  :-\

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BD - December 2012
OW1 confirmed - December 2012 on-and-off for 34 months and counting (still refers to her as just a 'friend')
Wants to live like roommates - November 2013
I moved out - April 2015
H is still checking the anchor
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Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#118: July 24, 2013, 02:04:05 PM
I hope not, but it does sound like a nightmare for you ladies.
I hope someone will come along with a solution for you.
I'll have a look through the articles available, see what I can dig out.
Back in a tic xx
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Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#119: July 24, 2013, 02:06:01 PM
Quote from: Searching4Answers on July 24, 2013, 01:02:41 PM

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get H to leave? Or possible signs that he is ready to leave/run?

He doesn't talk about leaving at all  :o I mentioned that maybe I should leave; definitely doesn't want that either. I feel stuck in limbo here. I did set some boundaries regarding OW; it is now going to be more difficult for him but he insists on the relationship.

He has also started complaining more about work lately too. I think that he doesn't think about leaving because OW lives too far away for him to go to work everyday.
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We all do damage. Character is determined by how we repair it.


BD - December 2012
OW1 confirmed - December 2012 on-and-off for 34 months and counting (still refers to her as just a 'friend')
Wants to live like roommates - November 2013
I moved out - April 2015
H is still checking the anchor
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