[echarle1]

Hi Neik

My H is the same , i live in our House all his mail comes here , he gives me nearly all his wage  , yet wont talk to me or D?

[Disneyme]

Echarle1

Mine did that too. Just left with one credit card in his wallet. I kept paying the bills with his direct deposit into our bank. .  Then one day no direct deposit. He just decided it was his money. I then reamed him out and he would give me about half even though I paid his phone, car insurance, and credit cards, plus our joint bills.  Then when I filed divorce since I could no longer control him giving me money to pay his bills, he got a place, credit cards and bought new furniture, clothes, whatever. Eventually had to get it court ordered to give me child support. The MLCer at first want out. Not worrying about money. Then they get entitled and feel you stole it all and they should have more. I can't stand how he says he is "fighting for his kids" yet didn't care if they were put out on the street when he left.  I was supposed to just get a better job and figure it out on my own. ( since I always did for 21 years).

[echarle1]

Hi Disneyme

I think a lot of the reason my H gives me all money is because i have always dealt with bills , on his 2nd move out , he opened a new bank acc and got a credit card using his dads address, in 6 months he has racked up £6000 on a credit card and £1050 overdrawn with his bank , not including what he ran up before!!!

So i think he is in too much debt to sort it out and his mind cannot cope sorting it out , much easier to leave it to me

I got smart when this started and made sure nothing is in my name , the moment he stops depositing is the moment nothing of his gets paid!!!

He has paid less this month but text to say he will pay the rest next week , which is fine as long as he communicates this , he says he's been sick but i reckon he was needing it for somthing !

How long into this did your H stop paying?

[Disneyme]

Echarle1

Sounds like mine. He is $50,000 in debt. Plus he hasn't done his taxes and owes. And he owes me $500 right now and growing. He left Apr 2011. Got deposit about 1 month. Then he went to giving me about 2/3 of pay, but he was living for free, and his mom was rewarding him for leaving me by buying him new clothes. Then in Dec 2011 he wanted to get a place and that made me mad so I cut him off the car insurance and cancelled his phone. So he started only giving me half his pay. Said he had bills.  As if his house, 3 kids, the van I drove them in, their food and clothes was not important. His new place and new furniture was. Six months down he starts saying he couldn't give me anything this week, or only half.  That's when I took him to court. Now he is ordered to give it to me.  I just always fear it will bounce because he doesn't get finances.  I am hoping he goes broke now with no more credit. Then we will see how "happy" he is. He likes to spend money. Gets this from his mom.  And if they are cut off, they turn monster. Can't wait to see if OW is willing to support him and buy him what he wants.

[calamity]

Ok, thank you very much.

Ohhh I think my thread is closed I think

So where did I post my reply?  I'll get back to you. 

[Niek]

I don't know. This is my thread, but I think it is closed. Maybe you can reply in the Mentor thread?



http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=2435.msg156864#msg156864

[panda]

Niek,

Even our therapist said that with his personality structure it will be very difficult to give him some insight in his problems.

Would you be able to give more information on this?

[calamity]

Niek we have re-awakened your thread so I sent your posts from Ask the mentor to yours.

Panda can you send your question to Niek's thread please [I don't dare try this splitting topics again  ]:

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=2435.0;all

[Niek]

Oh ok, thnx very much.

[i can and will cope]

i have a question

why do they give mixed messages all the time he says to me yesterday dont expect him to come back because he cant he hasnt damaged us too much he cant understand why 18n months ago he did whart he did, he then said he misses us from time to time but doesnt want to come home (he still lives here part with ow and here for nwork) wont leave says he cant afford too i dont believe this then he says other things like he loved me with everything he had and me him but that obviously not enough i have heard these things tooing and froing i think ow is convincing him to stay and not come back he has tokd me at least 3 times he wanted to come back but cant over last year, how do i cope with these up nand down feelings i see my hubby simetimes then yesterdya he hasd none of his temper tantrums throwing pots in sink because i wouldnt agree with him then it was "there you did it again proving to me we could never go back and you will always do this and beriing things up

oh i dont know have solkicitors appointment in an hour i hate mlc why does this happen i sometimes wish i wasnt here anymore :-(

answered on your thread:  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3714.0;all