[Darth Obo]

Now I look back, I've been getting the "I don't know" for a long time.  Drives me insane . I used to say before hand, this requires a yes or no answer, ask the question and still get the I don't know answer.

I was getting this a lot before I just stopped asking questions. Or, I would get the 1000 yard stare into space and no answer at all! Most frustrating sh!t ever! I too think she is really confused about everything and even verbalizes she is "confused".


-OneByOne-

[serenity]

Fidelle and OneByOne,

I can SO relate to what you both said!

Sheer SCRIPT! Oh whatever happened to these normal/nice people we married?!?

I get so tired of it all and just want closure!

X

[melissa2013]

Early on, after BD, but before he filed for divorce:
me: please don't do this, the kids are so young, they need you.
him: I am not leaving them. I am leaving you!
then did not call them (they had their own phone) for over 3 weeks and did not see them for over 3 months.

"I have been unhappy for 2 years"
"I have been unhappy for 10 years"
"I have never loved you"
"I have always loved you"
"I have found my soul mate and am finally happy. I deserve to be happy"
"I want the fairy tale kind of love. I know it's not real, but I have it with her"
"you deserve to find a man that will love you"
"you never wanted to be a mom" - actually, we worked to overcome infertility for 3 years (and 6 miscarriages) because I desperately wanted to be a mom.
"I know I am making a huge mistake and will die a lonely man because of this"
"you don't feed the kids" - actually I LOVE to cook and make extravagant meals almost every day and have for 20 years!
"Wow! You are such a good driver now. No more road rage" - What? My driving habits have not changed.
"I am not fit for anyone...I still want to $@%#@ you even though I am with her"
"You are turning the kids against me"
"She will be a wonderful mother to our kids"
"No one wants to replace you as their mother. You are a wonderful mother."
"You are not a good mom. You do not do anything for the kids unless they are bleeding."
"She (OW) is a psycho with a violent vendetta against my past"
"She is the kindest most compassionate person I have ever known"
"You are the most compassionate person I've ever known"
"None of this is your fault"
"This is all your fault"
"You knew I did not love you when we got married"
"I lied to you all along. Always lived a double life and did not mean my vows when I said them"
"You know I have always loved you"

I don't know whether to laugh or cry...three years of listening to crazy MLC comments.

[serenity]

Melissa2013,

I think I've mostly heard all of those as well :0/

It really sucks doesn't it - the rubbish that comes out of their mouths when previously they had actually been normal human beings.

Like you, I'm tired and jaded at the moment.  It has gone on way too long.

Hugs

X

[Snowdrop]

"I want the fairy tale kind of love. I know it's not real, but I have it with her"

"She is the kindest most compassionate person I have ever known"
"You are the most compassionate person I've ever known"

"None of this is your fault"
"This is all your fault"

 

[fidelle]

[quote"I have been unhappy for 2 years"
"I have been unhappy for 10 years"
"I have never loved you"
"I have always loved you"
"I have found my soul mate and am finally happy. I deserve to be happy"
"I want the fairy tale kind of love. I know it's not real, but I have it with her"
"you deserve to find a man that will love you"
"you never wanted to be a mom" - actually, we worked to overcome infertility for 3 years (and 6 miscarriages) because I desperately wanted to be a mom.
"I know I am making a huge mistake and will die a lonely man because of this"
"you don't feed the kids" - actually I LOVE to cook and make extravagant meals almost every day and have for 20 years!
"Wow! You are such a good driver now. No more road rage" - What? My driving habits have not changed.
"I am not fit for anyone...I still want to $@%#@ you even though I am with her"
"You are turning the kids against me"
"She will be a wonderful mother to our kids"
"No one wants to replace you as their mother. You are a wonderful mother."
"You are not a good mom. You do not do anything for the kids unless they are bleeding."
"She (OW) is a psycho with a violent vendetta against my past"
"She is the kindest most compassionate person I have ever known"
"You are the most compassionate person I've ever known"
"None of this is your fault"
"This is all your fault"
"You knew I did not love you when we got married"
"I lied to you all along. Always lived a double life and did not mean my vows when I said them"
"You know I have always loved you"
][/quote]

You have to say this in a Schmoopie voice 

[HereIgoagain]

I got these
"I still love you but not enough"
"I will probably always love you"
"You're not very personable"
"You are fine when we are alone but not around other people"
"You will find someone who loves you like you should be loved and when you do I will be sad"
And of course the "I don't know, I don't know" and the blank stare is classic.

Oh and the dog thing is strange. He would pick up the dog every couple of weeks the first 9 months after BD and now the last time he took him was in April. The dog was his pride and joy. I asked him recently why he wasn't taken the dog he said it was because I wanted to know when he as going to return him and I was concerned who he was going to be around meaning the OW. Really since when does he care what I think.

[Snowdrop]

"You will find someone who loves you like you should be loved and when you do I will be sad"

HIGA - Hi, welcome.  You have come to a great place.  Lots of good people and advice, as well as tons of information to help you along on your journey.  Sorry you are here, but glad too.

I laugh so hard at the script , I just find it to be so comical.   I know it isn't funny at the time, but I love to read the thread as it makes me laugh.

[sobeit]

Loved this.

Here is my list of script:

Our vows meant more to you, I was not paying attention.
I want to be free, don't want to be responsible for you anymore.
I love you as the mother of my children.
I should have divorced you 15 years ago ( have a wonderful care from him 2 months before BD saying the opposite)
You should not have snooped... If you go looking you will find something.
Relationship ship with OW is intense....
I will always take care of you and the boys.
You only want me for my money( unemployed for a year.)
Ilybinilwy
I will always love you but I can't return to that life.
I am leaving because I do not like how you dish up my food.
I am leaving because you are violent...
I am leaving because you don't like my friends
My friends all want/have trophy wives.
Did you know that you need to add sugar to tomato when you cook( he never cooked In 25 years)
My friends will talk about you behind your back.
You never appreciated me/loved me.
We can't go for a walk, you are too fat... ( seriously I'm not)
I looked in your cupboard and it was untidy so I'm leaving ( seriously!)
It's not my fault you can't survive without your parents help, ( 6 months and no financial help from him.
Lets sell your car ( no payments due) and you can have my car( huge repayments)
My car has been repossessed because I couldn't pay for it. ( thanks Buddy, I would have been in the bush)

[SSG]

Now I look back, I've been getting the "I don't know" for a long time.  Drives me insane . I used to say before hand, this requires a yes or no answer, ask the question and still get the I don't know answer.

I was getting this a lot before I just stopped asking questions. Or, I would get the 1000 yard stare into space and no answer at all! Most frustrating sh!t ever! I too think she is really confused about everything and even verbalizes she is "confused".

-OneByOne-

In the beginning, I too got only "I don't know" or "I think so"

Now, 6 mo after BD I get the 1000 yard stare followed by minutes of silence and not looking me in the eye...standing up with his back to me staring out the window until I push for any kind of response.

Drives me nuts!

SSG