http://www.blogtalkradio.com/empowered-love/2013/01/29/question-answer-show-can-narcissists-be-loving
I need to understand this better compared to MLC. My H matches all of these things from Melanie Tonia Evans. I can't be a stander if my H is a Narcissist and maybe standing is not the best option for most LBSes? Please help.
SW
I'm going to quote directly from RCR from the "Newbies, Read This" thread at
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=1149.0:
Exceptions & Gray Areas
In my time coaching on forums I have only seen 2 situations where I was familiar enough and felt that divorce would be better. In both situations the Standing spouse (unknowingly) described their spouse’s as Narcissists. MLCers often display a higher than typical level of Narcissistic attributes during the crisis, but the histories described in each situation implied long-standing emotional and verbal abuse that sounded like Narcissism. I’m not a Psychotherapist and I did not meet the MLCers, so my judgment was based only on the words from the Standers and I did not tell either of them they should not Stand; that was and remains their decision.Here's another of her links about NPD:
http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/mlc_personality-disorder_narcissistic.htmlEssentially, the decision is still yours, as only you truly know your history with this man. If he didn't do a 180 flip in personality, if not immediate, at least over a short period of time, then that leans more toward NPD, and will probably always be a part of him. If this is something that came on quite suddenly, it may be MLC, which displays NPD at its worst, but does not seem to be permanent from the tales outside of the tunnel we hear.
More important than what his mental state is though - decide what is best for YOU. If you're having doubts about standing, that's healthy and normal. You may find as you soul search that standing isn't your best choice, and that this "grace period" as some call it where you've allowed yourself to consider it has ultimately put you on your path to healing into a future without him. Either way, we are here for you.