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Author Topic: Discussion Ask a Mentor 6

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Discussion Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#40: August 04, 2013, 08:58:06 PM
Posted on mine too. Any comments  on my weekend and only text conversation with H this weekend.
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3753.0
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Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#41: August 05, 2013, 06:16:46 AM
My question is, I have three kids, D15, D12, S9.  Is there something for them to read, or a way to describe MLC to them? I think as a kid, I would rather think something is not right in my dad's head than think he is just an A$$hole and can just pickup and leave. And then he shows them that "look everything worked out for me, so I am right".  Obviously this family of his, grew up thinking this is okay and now him and his brother keep the tradition. There is the chance that they may never want their kids to go through this. But it's a 50/50 chance.

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3753.0;all

answered on your thread.
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« Last Edit: August 05, 2013, 08:04:33 AM by calamity »
S
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Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#42: August 05, 2013, 11:05:21 AM
Sorry - can I ask again for some feedback - things are moving very fast...
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3791.0;all
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Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#43: August 06, 2013, 03:08:48 PM
Hi - could someone pop over to my thread - just after an opinion- in particular regarding comment about OW acceptance of situation.
Thankyou.....

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3762.msg233985#msg233985

answered on your thread.
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« Last Edit: August 06, 2013, 03:46:38 PM by Anjae »
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Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#44: August 07, 2013, 09:36:00 AM
In an article that RCR wrote titled "The Clinging Boomerang Soap Opera Part 2" she talks about Monster being charming. Would  someone please elaborate on this. I have always associated Monster as angery, mean, cruel, etc. and now I am wondering how often I am really seeing Monster if charming is part of it.

http://loveanyway.theherosspouse.com/page/90/
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Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#45: August 07, 2013, 10:32:28 AM
I only saw 'puppy monster'--'oh woe is me.  Poor, poor pitiful me.  I've hurt my family & it makes me feel bad so, feel sorry for me because I feel bad.'  I'm NOT kidding. 
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k
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Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#46: August 07, 2013, 12:11:07 PM
Searching4 - I started seeing a bit of charming monster about 10mths post BD.  Before that it was all rage and everything was my fault.
Angry monster showed up many times in the first 18mths post BD in particular, and still makes occasional appearances.

It took me a while to wise up to it - but charming monster (flirt) appeared whenever we were in public together - such as a school event, or if he wanted something (something signed for his advantage). As soon as the event was over, or he got what he wanted, he would return to being irritable and distant. 

It wasn't until I found this site some months later that I had any clue as to what it was all about. 
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« Last Edit: August 07, 2013, 12:25:38 PM by kikki »
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Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#47: August 07, 2013, 12:59:26 PM
I occasionally get angry monster but it's fleeting- I usually get pity me or snide/clever monster. But sometimes I get "nice but deadly" monster. very unsettling.
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Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#48: August 07, 2013, 01:04:38 PM
We know that after BD  MLC gets worse and also that eventually most MLCers leave. (Bear in mind my H refuses at the moment to leave and has quoted the law at me telling me that I cannot chuck him out and that he intends to stay for his business)
However H is much more distant with me now and has stopped being quite as "friendly or helpful" and is out most nights at OWs although doesn't stay there overnight - Is this a sign that it is getting worse and that he may leave?
I'm almost hopeful that the answer is yes as he needs to leave and I need the space from him.
Has any one had experience of a gradual self removal from the home? 
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Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#49: August 07, 2013, 02:47:31 PM
Quote from: kikki on August 07, 2013, 12:11:07 PM

It took me a while to wise up to it - but charming monster (flirt) appeared if he wanted something (something signed for his advantage). As soon as the event was over, or he got what he wanted, he would return to being irritable and distant. 


My H does this. I get hugs, kisses, sometimes more if he wants something from me. Gee, when women do that they call them prostitutes! :o (sorry!)
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