[Anjae]

Thank you for the article FTT.

One cannot just be done and each of us has different ways/need different time frames to be "done", detached, healed or any other thing this journey demands/requires.

3 years may be enough for one person but may not be enough for another. Trying to rush ourselves will only hurt us more and do us no good.

Do we, at times, also self medicate, just like the MLCer? We do. We're human, at first many of us have no idea what we are dealing with, we made mistakes, we get back on our feet.

I would always be more worried with a LBS that would be over it in 6 months or a year than with one who, after several years, still feels hurt, even if a different pain from the early times.

The psychiatrist in the text says " trauma never goes away completely", my friend who is a psychiatrists has told me the same. It seems a residual, or at times not so residual, portion remains with us.

Most people manage to learn to navigate around it/with it, some aren't so lucky. 

[kikki]

Thank you for posting that FTT.  I know so many of us are acutely aware of the physical manifestations of the long term trauma and stress from this situation we are dealing with.

I wonder if society's rush to push us to 'move on' - doesn't help us to properly 'lean' into our trauma and fully process it over time?

I think it is so important to be gentle with ourselves, and do this on our own timelines. 

[fidelle]

Thank you FTT. This was exactly what I needed right now, especially with H trying to make me feel guilty for not "letting him go" in an emotional sense and others looking at me as if I'm mad for still feeling the pain 2.5+ years later. I've heard a few times recently, in a caring way, "it's time to move on just like your H..."   The article absolutely validates how I feel and, although I realise that it's not how I want to feel for the rest of my life, it needs to be faced and dealt with rather than glossed over or buried. The article gives me the strength to say, "this is what I feel, respect it! I don't expect anything from you but I do want to own my own feelings and no longer be responsible for your guilt."

[Thundarr]

Thanks for posting this, FTT.  I'm not sure I completely agree about trauma "not going away completely" and part of the reason for this is the differing perspectives between psychiatrists and psychologists (I work with both). Psychiatrists are primarily MEDICAL doctors who focus primarily on medication management and in this country are mostly influenced by the American Psychiatric Association.  I hate to say it, but it serves their interest for people to never get over certain things or to accept that a problem will be a problem forever.  Many psychiatrists dont seem to believe that people "get better" unfortunately.  in the story, the guy's mother had never dealt with the trauma and for this reason it still affected her.  i would say that once one learns to see how the trauma has affected them and how to deal with the triggers then the trauma is overcome.  It's often the "thinking errors" we acquire following traumatic experiences that follow us into later years and haunt us like ghosts of the past. 

That all being said, we all grieve at our own rate and are products of all of our experiences.  I often feel as if I will always be hurt and sad but that's illogical.  We all CAN move past that if we truly face our pains and fears and do the work to overcome them.  This needs to be done whether we R or not.  But, no, I don't think trauma lasts forever in most cases and I do feel that we can all "get better" once we find the right path.

[superdog]

Thanks FTT, an aptly timed article for me!! 4 Years in and i still am still not there.

I believe that it never fully goes away. You cannot erase memories and memories create feelings. +ve and -ve. We deliberately remonise for example in order to recall postive feelings.

As life goes on -ve trauma memories can be awakened by subconcius triggers. The feelings associated may be diminished and the associated feelings last only seconds, but they never go away. I think that we develop the ability to supress what is not required at any given time. IMO.

SD
x

[forthetrees]

adding this link as it is trauma, but to the MLCer.

http://news.yahoo.com/study-gives-clues-course-cte-athletes-201055798.html