[Anjae]

Mental illness diagnoses can be very difficult to make. Several things are similar in some disorders. Then some diagnosis seem to be contradictory.

I'm sorry about your wives's health issues. Cutting is not a good thing but from what I know of it is really is because the person feels nothing inside and the physical pain will, at least, make them feel something.

It is said that, on average, bipolar takes 10 years to be correctly diagnosed.

My cousin who had MLC was diagnosed disorders that ranged from schizophrenia to psychotic, as well as OCD, borderline, bipolar.

The difference with MLC is that it is, except in very rare cases, temporary.

You're right Superman, usually people don't get the help they need before they destroy everything, themselves included.

[kikki]

Phoenix67 - thanks so much for your thoughts on this and the link, very helpful.

I like what your psychologist has to say about us all being on the spectrum - would agree with that, and having the pendulum swung wildly with MLC makes sense.
Fingers crossed when the hormones settle down, so does the extreme swing. 

I've just responded on your thread to your H's desire to have therapy.  Very unusual for a MLCer, which makes me wonder if he is on the edge of transition - and not fully in crisis. 
If he can commit to therapy it would be wonderful to see if a crisis can be stopped, or at least mitigated. 

[kikki]

My w was diagnosed with DPD(disociative depersonalization disorder) and major depression and anxiety. Problem I had with diagnosis is that depression and anxiety deal with emotions and felt energy. DPD is said to be like feeling unreal. Zero emotions or attachments. That's pretty scary when you think about it, hense walking in on w cutting was an attempt to FEEL domething again. W stated to me that she felt nothing when looking at the kids and I (indescribable).

Superman, I'm just wondering when your W was diagnosed?
Because this is MLC 'normal' for all of us (the deadness inside and the lack of feeling), and of course MLC is not recognised diagnostically.
Thanks for sharing.

[Superman]

Kikki

W was diagnosed about month after bd. she only went to therapy as a means to "help me" through this. We only went once together, then we both had about 15 IC sessions. I spent most of the time filling therapist in on w's background and as I would call "cycles of depression" that I had experienced all the time I've known her.

I do believe that stress and coping skills are what can set these illnesses off. I figured out the timeline and series of events in it sitch and therapist agreed with with me. W was only putting on a show for therapist, and he knew it, hence the reason he was asking me the questions abut her history.

When diagnosis came, w quit going. Doesn't want to think that she has the problem.

There is not a lot out there as far as resources for DPD. MLC seems very similar, hence the reason I'm here looking, and learning. It no matter what until she wants the help, there's nothing I can do about it.  I really want to make sure my kids understand this with hopes it doesn't effect them later on.

W was given meds for depression and anxiety, but she refused to take them, even though she filled the prescription and pick them up ?huh?

DPD treatment is cognitive and behavioral therapy. Retraining the brains thinking and handling of situations. Talk about a long road. From the looks of how she acts and treats me, it's going to take an act of god to "wake" her up. So I decided the best thing to do was to back out for my sake and let reality and consequences take hold no matter what they were for w. 

I do think misdiagnosis is a possibility, but again nothing I can do about it now.

Therapists last advice" go on about life as if nothing ever happened" easier said than done my friend. In the end I guess my life will go on, and maybe this will be just a distant memory...

[kikki]

Hi Superman
I recognise the 'helping' us through accepting their new decisions - my H agreed to go to therapy too - but only went a couple of times before refusing to go further.

Another therapist that the boys and I went to last year suggested that my H had dissociative disorder, or was bipolar.
To this day - I am not sure if MLC will be a diagnosable disorder of its own one day in the future, or whether the hormonal changes at this time of life kicks them into one of these already known disorders. 

I strongly suspect, that as so few people in MLC seek help - most therapists/ medical professionals never see it, unless they experience it first hand themselves. 
And - as you experienced - even if they do agree to therapy for a while - they do not share what is really going on. 

[sleepless]

My MLCer has consistently seen IC since BD. I went to one joint session where this IC was included. The IC only validates the individualization of the MLCer. In my opinion the IC has become an enabler. "Do what you feel."

[kikki]

Sleepless, sadly that is exactly what most of us on here have experienced.  The MLCer (if they are in therapy) only continues to go if they are feeling validated.  Not feeling validated, they stop therapy.
If validated and continuing therapy - they use it to justify their stance towards us and their escape.

[Superman]

Kikki

I don't think that bipolar is close enough in my sitch. I only see depression emotional detachment. Completely. I mean one day w says to me"do you know what it's like to look at your children and know there is nothing there?" I was horrified. Right the and there realizing how dangerous this was.

After 1 year there is tiny progress in reconnecting with the kids. Still a million miles away from anything recognizable as normal parental behavior.

The few times I've talked with her she has used language that fits DPD and also MLC SCRIPT so I think there might be something close it that. I also can see how bipolar an be related to MLC too.

Therapist I went to was a leader in the area specializing on dissociative disorders, but we only lightly touched on midlife crisis. He felt confident that she would work through it, but maybe that was professional script to keep me in the office paying the bills?  I looked around for 2nd and 3rd opinions and everyone kept sending me back to original therapist. So that was comforting.

Hopefully bottom will come and a condition for w will be Counceling for sure.

Great topic though

[kikki]

one day w says to me"do you know what it's like to look at your children and know there is nothing there?" I was horrified.

I have heard similar things superman, from my H.  It is chilling, isn't it. 
Hard to imagine how this happens.

Good to hear there are tiny amounts of progress. 

[Superman]

Tiny as in I'm the only one that sees it, even then I question what I'm actually seeing.

Looking back there is some small changes, maybe I just want to see bigger ones to offset Bd and the other bigger changes that occurred.