[twilightzone]

Don't know if her 'personality' changed as much as her craving for a different life with a different guy

[Albatross]

Hi, yes, his personality did change, but gradually. I thought it was only due to work pressures, recession in Ireland, family problems.
I love him now, as I loved him then, so I am waiting....thank you Albatross, very insightful!
I would love if he came back to live at home to finish his journey in peace...I hate that he lives with his mother (no OW anymore)

His personality change gradually, sure, because they hiding changes from everyone. But when they can't keep up like that, then they disclosure self.

[Albatross]

For me is fascinating how my W does not even see me. Like I am ghost. She come home and talking only about self. What happens to her. No any question about me. It is truly fascinating, like doing it on the purpose.

[PatienceGalore]

That is interesting. My h always asks how I am, how is work, but no more...sometimes in his eyes I see him, sometimes, I have no idea! Sometimes he is very kind, sometimes he says something that is so hurtful and I seriously believe he does not register how inappropriate and mean it is...and I tend to feed that, to my demise...I have to stop.

[living with Hope]

My husband never asks anything about us...he only talks about himself if you ask direct questions. He really doesn't talk much. He listens though.

We have had some moments of clarity where he does ask questions.  But they have been short lived. 

It is weird. I often wonder how he can go an entire week or more and not communicate or see his children (and me) then come spend time with us and not ask questions or talk.  It is very bizarre.  And then he has a texting relationship with us and it is mostly sending pictures or tweets to the children or articles or asking to go shopping.  Nothing really about their lives.  Very superficial.  Like he can't handle reality.

[PatienceGalore]

It is bizarre indeed. I can't understand also the days n days of not communicating and then one of the children says he's asked to meet them for a coffee! Maybe they are feeling too much guilt!

[Braveheart]

I have so little contact with mine I have no idea where she's at. I figure from what I know now, the emotion part of her affair probably started about 6 - 8 months prior to BD, which would have put it at late fall 2010, BD end of July 2011. She only sees the kids about twice a month tops, but they say it's like her past life never happened.

[Snowdrop]

Such an interesting thread.  Love it, but got lost at Reply #3

Wish I was a little bit brighter!

Also wish there was an MLC translator regarding shadows and ego, and all that stuff.  I read it, think I get it, then , right out the window!  Did the same reading RCRs too. 

I will keep trying.

Can make sense of some of the discussions following, so maybe need to go back and read #3 again.......and again.....and

Fantastic Albatross. Thank you.  I'm getting some of it, and find it fascinating.

[Anjae]

I would like to know what exactly is liminality? I have read RCR article, but I don't really understand, and how does it manifest itself? Also, Monster, my h is not generally angry, I am not sure if I see Monster. Does Monster appear when he says he does not know if he wants to be with me, when he says 50/50 for decision, when he can't decide, when he looks at me like I'm a bug? He does not say mean things to me EVER, or does not blame me, but does bring up parts of our marriage as being problematic?

Not all MLCers show monster. Wallowers many times don't, or their is a pretty tamed monster compared to Replayers one, especially High Replayers. Even some Replayers don't show much monster.

Their personality changes through a period of time and for some of it the LBS may not notice a thing, or, in hindsight, we may realise that small things were there but, at the time, we saw nothing. Still, for many of us a point before BD comes when we start to personality changes.

Liminality is that period between Replay (the high maniac, or less maniac ego driven part of MLC, that tends to be the longer one) and Rebirth. Liminality is totally overt depression, it follows rock bottom. It is not a nice place to be and it is extremely painful to cross it until one starts to be in Rebirth. Rebirth is also painful but it is different.

Mine has been in stage for for over 7 years and BD was nearly 7 years ago. I seriously  start to doubt he ever leaves stage 4 before he is a very old man... Mine has an addiction far worse than OW, "fame". There can be nothing more ego stroking than being "famous" (even if only on a certain world) and worst for a person in MLC. Liminality will take forever to arrive to mine.

When it will, if it will, it will not be pretty to watch. He has done too much damage so maybe he is just protecting himself by remaining in Replay. That way he is not forced to look at the gigantic mess he made and at all the pain he caused.

Better to keep clubbing, being the know DJ and drunk. Can't really blame. I'm not certain I would want to deal with what he will have to deal if he ever reaches Liminality.

Of course he can only blame himself since it were his MLC endless Replay actions that make it harder and harder for him so face things. The more he runs, the more damage he causes, the more he has to run.

The universe may not be big enough for mine to keep running... 

[Albatross]

Self-love is the love of oneself.

In 1956 psychologist and social philosopher Erich Fromm proposed that loving oneself is different from being arrogant, conceited or egocentric. He proposed that loving oneself means caring about oneself, taking responsibility for oneself, respecting oneself, and knowing oneself (e.g. being realistic and honest about one's strengths and weaknesses). He proposed, further, that in order to be able to truly love another person, a person needs first to love oneself in this way.

Nothing what should be add on this.