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Author Topic: MLC Monster REPLAY - #2

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MLC Monster Re: REPLAY - #2
#70: September 21, 2013, 05:34:58 PM
StillHoping
Letting go really is the hardest part because I find as much as I want it, a lot of it is out of my control too. I can't make myself heal faster. I will heal in my own good time. Every time I think I've let go enough I let go even more. I find it's the thought process that is the hardest. Rehashing the memories, the pain, the shock of it all. That, for me, is the hardest thing to let go of. All of the 'why's.
I do find it very interesting that as many have said on here, that it's the moment you really do actually let go that the MLCer senses this and moves back towards us.
Letting go is the only way of having a chance at getting them back.. IF we want them back that is ;)
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'And those who were seen dancing were thought insane by those who could not hear the music'
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Re: REPLAY - #2
#71: September 21, 2013, 06:18:55 PM
"""I find it's the thought process that is the hardest. Rehashing the memories, the pain, the shock of it all."""

You are right, that was and still is the hardest part of letting go, but in time, lots of it, it does get better.  Like so many say "time is your friend", and that's all there is to it. 

Wishing all of you the very best!!

Hope
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married 26 years
2 D 20, 24
BD:  April 2011
moved out May 2011
OW (out of state) confirmed July 2011 (sent me a text, meant for her!!)  ex wife-married 1 year
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2/2013 - says wants to come home, but needs counseling, first
t
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Re: REPLAY - #2
#72: September 22, 2013, 03:56:47 AM
Still hoping, I am so pleased that you were able to let go and the result was that your h made moves to return. Also the timeline, 2.5 years since he moved out and he is feeling like he wants to return. Did he and ow ever live together? My h is living and working with ow and she has been introduced to kids, they play happy families. I am trying to let go. 17 months in and not a hint of return or anything like that.

Letting go, is it accepting what is. Accepting he wants D. Moving ahead with all the financial separation and D and then getting on with my life on my own?
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Re: REPLAY - #2
#73: September 22, 2013, 04:04:33 AM
Just a question. I believe start of MLC was 2007, first BD oct2011 (but I do not recognise it as such) true BD (affair discovered)31 dec 2012. Moved out 1st jan. I  not sure exactly what entails letting go. I have little contact with him. Does letting go mean whatever they do not do say not say, we don't react, even if it hurts like hell? Is 9mos my real start time, or oct 2011, and if so when could a possible return be? I suppose I feel more in control or helpful if I have a guide to go by?
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M:1994
BD: 31st Dec 2012..Happy New Year!
"I want a new love, I want to take risks, I want a new relationship with the kids"...thanks, what's wrong with the one you had???
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Re: REPLAY - #2
#74: September 22, 2013, 04:13:43 AM
I have little contact with him. Does letting go mean whatever they do not do say not say, we don't react, even if it hurts like hell? Is 9mos my real start time, or oct 2011, and if so when could a possible return be? I suppose I feel more in control or helpful if I have a guide to go by?

PG
If you've entered no contact you are on the right track..if he's doing it chances are he thinks he's punishing you..when you don't initiate OR respond You are protecting yourself.

Try the three rule..how long has it been since you've had any communication? I mean any..texts emails calls etc?
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
B
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Re: REPLAY - #2
#75: September 22, 2013, 04:16:49 AM
I think letting go means letting go. Like you would a teenage child who is out to look for their independence in adulthood. The more you resist, the more it persists.
I think it also means accepting that your old marriage is over, accepting that you cannot control the situation or any outcome.
Let go of fighting MLC and get on with YOUR life.

That is how I understand it :)
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'Nothing worth having comes easy'
BD oct 1st 2012. 2 teens- 2 Dogs. Together 16 years, not married. No OW in sight. Foo issues a go-go.
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Re: REPLAY - #2
#76: September 22, 2013, 04:16:56 AM
Quote from: PatienceGalore on September 22, 2013, 04:04:33 AM
Just a question. I believe start of MLC was 2007, first BD oct2011 (but I do not recognise it as such) true BD (affair discovered)31 dec 2012. Moved out 1st jan. I  not sure exactly what entails letting go. I have little contact with him. Does letting go mean whatever they do not do say not say, we don't react, even if it hurts like hell? Is 9mos my real start time, or oct 2011, and if so when could a possible return be? I suppose I feel more in control or helpful if I have a guide to go by?

1. Detach
2. Let go
3. Surrender
4. Acceptance

Your and mine MLC timeline almost the same. :O
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« Last Edit: September 22, 2013, 04:23:05 AM by Albatross »
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Re: REPLAY - #2
#77: September 22, 2013, 04:35:10 AM
Init, last text wax this morning for D10 pick up. Thank you for response, Booboo. Makes sense. Albatross, if it wasn't so sad, that would be funny, the timeline thing! Thank you for responses. NC is very hard, children involved!
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M:1994
BD: 31st Dec 2012..Happy New Year!
"I want a new love, I want to take risks, I want a new relationship with the kids"...thanks, what's wrong with the one you had???
t
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Re: REPLAY - #2
#78: September 22, 2013, 08:40:04 AM
What kind of things bring replay to an end?
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Re: REPLAY - #2
#79: September 22, 2013, 08:49:59 AM
Quote from: toughtimes on September 22, 2013, 08:40:04 AM
What kind of things bring replay to an end?

Good question TT. Anyone want to try electro-shock therapy? Tasers? Lobotomy?
I'm game!
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