[PatienceGalore]

Hi Albatross, I have a new thing said to me: my H told me his feelings were dead for me, I was obviously very shaken by that for a bit, then thought "Monster", Carzyjourney posted that that was the death of his Ego, I don't know if I quite understand what that means? Is it another break of himself? But if he does not recognise it, how does he use that to get better, or simply say, no feelings, so goodbye? i'm confused?

[alwayshope]

Patience - I was told something very similar.  I was told he had no feelings for me whatsoever, and was not attracted to me in any way, not physically, emotionally, etc... It does seem that they pick the most earth-shattering things they could possibly say, doesn't it?

[twilightzone]

That's not monster....that's just plain mean.  Cruel to the nth degree.  He's in replay.  When they are in replay, they have no feelings for anyone.....not even themselves.  They may think they are in love with the OP, but they really are dead inside.  It doesn't mean anything except that he is going through MLC.

[in it]

Patience - I was told something very similar.  I was told he had no feelings for me whatsoever, and was not attracted to me in any way, not physically, emotionally, etc... It does seem that they pick the most earth-shattering things they could possibly say, doesn't it?

I never had him ever say he wasn't physically attracted to me.

 He did say in a conversation once when I was talking about not having men for friends as all they wanted to to was get me into bed he said;

"I don't!"

I think it meant he wanted to be my friend?? I don't have a frigging clue..now I don't really care

[alwayshope]

I LOL'd, I hope that is ok! 

[PatienceGalore]

Twilightzone, thank you. Yes very mean and hurtful. Bet you he thought he was being honest with me!
Alwayshope, I've been told that too, I didn't do it for him anymore!
Init, you Made me laugh with that one.

[Searching4Answers]

Can someone give me examples of replay activities when there is not an OW.

[Albatross]

Also, H did break up with OW recently but says the depreesion has nothing to do with that and that it started before the break up; OW withdraw last  about 4 - 6 weeks right? So I should continue to look at what changes.

He is right, he had covert depression. They use affairs as drugs to escape from reality and depression. Now he haven't any more "drug" = OW and his depression is now deeper and more overt.

[Albatross]

Hi Albatross, I have a new thing said to me: my H told me his feelings were dead for me, I was obviously very shaken by that for a bit, then thought "Monster", Carzyjourney posted that that was the death of his Ego, I don't know if I quite understand what that means? Is it another break of himself? But if he does not recognise it, how does he use that to get better, or simply say, no feelings, so goodbye? i'm confused?

My wife told me that she feels nothing to me. How can she when she is in total mess, she haven't feelings for anyone including me, kids, parents etc. They are so preoccupied with self that nobody out them does not exists. It is hard to understand someone who is in total mess.

[Albatross]

Can someone give me examples of replay activities when there is not an OW.

My wife is in REPLAY since September 2011, now it is two bloody years. Bomb drop was after New Year 2013 when she refuse sex with me. I wait for her month and a half and then ask her what is wrong with her ?

What she did from September 2011. to New Year 2013 ? She escape from home whenever she can, her mother illness and father illness she use as alibi for more escape from home. She gather with younger people from previous firm where she work, they working honorary furniture. Also she start to contact people from her youth. Intensify communication with them, she made FB account at beginning of 2012. Also she become workaholic. And she often take our dog to hiking. She try to do stuff which "make her happy" and escape from reality.

That all  was not enough to resist incoming shadow. So, EA start over bloody FB, she dig some guy when she had 16 and he had 22. They see each other only a 10 days maybe when he was on vacation on the coast in year 1982.