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Author Topic: MLC Monster REPLAY - #2

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MLC Monster Re: REPLAY - #2
#130: September 28, 2013, 07:44:54 PM
Not sure if already addressed.

Not to focus on OW.

At what point does MLCer realize OW is a bandaid and nothing more than a prop to get them through their journey.  Is it when replay ends? 
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Re: REPLAY - #2
#131: September 28, 2013, 08:03:49 PM
Not sure if they ever realise OW/OM is just a prop... it is said when no OW/OM remains in the picture and have reached Liminality = overt depression that is no longer possible to mask with Replay behaviour, Replay is over. However OW/OM can stay around during Liminality but, and if I remember the articles right, the dinamics of the relationship will change.

How exactly does it change I do not know.
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Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)
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Re: REPLAY - #2
#132: September 29, 2013, 12:22:01 AM
Quote from: Anjae on September 28, 2013, 08:03:49 PM
Not sure if they ever realise OW/OM is just a prop... it is said when no OW/OM remains in the picture and have reached Liminality = overt depression that is no longer possible to mask with Replay behaviour, Replay is over. However OW/OM can stay around during Liminality but, and if I remember the articles right, the dinamics of the relationship will change.

How exactly does it change I do not know.

I am interested in this also.  If OP remains in the picture when the Replayer hits liminality - surely they must then see that the person they got involved with, wasn't the real person after all????  How can they continue their relationship???
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Re: REPLAY - #2
#133: September 29, 2013, 04:28:34 AM
Dynamics of relation change because "drug" does not work anymore. Or MLCer have more important inner things, doing self. Or it is just inertia, or he is nowhere OW relationship stall and he don't know what to do and he produce a lot damage to self, family spouse and kids. he do not know does spouse want him back, he do not know is it possible to bridge all crap what he done.

A lot things can be. Or all together what I wrote. He can also dump OW and escape & avoid more seeking something else for drug that can be OW.
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Re: REPLAY - #2
#134: September 29, 2013, 04:49:07 AM
A lot things can be. Or all together what I wrote. He can also dump OW and escape & avoid more seeking something else for drug that can be OW.

Yep- I saw this happen...started a band  We all wanna be a big rock star driving 15 cars..(or however that song goes) and the MONEY that was spent WOW. ANYTHING but taking a realistic look at the problem which is THEM..
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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Re: REPLAY - #2
#135: September 29, 2013, 05:22:17 AM
I WILL TRY TO CONNECT INDIVIDUATION PROCESS AND REPLAY

Individuation stages:

1. DISSOLUTION OF PERSONA
- PERSONA

2. DISSOLUTION OF THE ARCHETYPES
-  SHADOW
-  ANIMA / ANIMUS

As You can see MLCer have to deal with whole self ! And in this order:
-  PERSONA
-  EGO
-  SHADOW
-  ANIMA / ANIMUS
-  SELF

As we possibly can trace them trough MLC stages map, I will try to trace my MLCer trough individuation map. Also I will try to make transparent whats going on in this CRUSADE ! xD

Majority of LBS's try to understand all crazy things what produce their MLCer. It is hard to understand motives or behavior someone who appears like crazy maniac which is total opposite what our spouse was before this madness.

Also process of individuation can be seen like this:

SELF - > INDIVIDUATED SELF
- Know your Self
- Love your Self
- Trust your Self
- Be your Self
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« Last Edit: September 29, 2013, 05:28:23 AM by Albatross »
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Re: REPLAY - #2
#136: September 29, 2013, 09:01:38 AM
What if my MLC has been through the individuation process and he has followed his bliss and found himself and that is who he is right now? I have wondered that. He appears so successful and so pleased with where he is at right now.
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Re: REPLAY - #2
#137: September 29, 2013, 09:44:23 AM
Quote
What if my MLC has been through the individuation process and he has followed his bliss and found himself and that is who he is right now? I have wondered that. He appears so successful and so pleased with where he is at right now.

I wonder that too.

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Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

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Re: REPLAY - #2
#138: September 29, 2013, 10:06:20 AM
Quote from: Snowdrop on September 29, 2013, 09:44:23 AM
Quote
What if my MLC has been through the individuation process and he has followed his bliss and found himself and that is who he is right now? I have wondered that. He appears so successful and so pleased with where he is at right now.

I wonder that too.

That's the danger of placing too much hope on a return and not working enough on yourself. One ends up not only having their marriage blown up, but now has lost another 5-7 years of their life tied up in someone who hasn't come back.
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Re: REPLAY - #2
#139: September 29, 2013, 10:12:58 AM
Quote from: toughtimes on September 29, 2013, 09:01:38 AM
What if my MLC has been through the individuation process and he has followed his bliss and found himself and that is who he is right now? I have wondered that. He appears so successful and so pleased with where he is at right now.

Is he still in MLC ?
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