[DancingInTheRain]

My H has been financially rescuing the other woman for quite some time. Now the funds have dried up. I sure hope their "love" dries up soon too. According to H, it's not his fault he fell in love with someone. He deserves to be happy...blah...blah...blah.
I guess that explains why he was calling escort services on his cell phone that's attached to the family cell phone plan- in the past couple of weeks.
Hit me with the 2 X 4 for even paying attention to who he's calling:)

Sounds like a match made in hell to me.

[Magnite38]

Definitely damsel in distress h told me OW came from bad relationships and has been treated poorly.  OW is h's assistant and his staff is just sick about the situation, yet h went around tring to get the female staff to be friends with OW.

I also received emails from h telling me to stop trying to sabatoge their relationship and building my troupes. . They are very insecure and I was doing nothing other then trying to survive those first months after BD.

Early on in the R h planned to take the kids to the farm and OW was not invited.  OW spent the day pouting at work, I am sure he had to plan a getaway for them after.  Now h and OW are inseparable, not sure how long this will last but I think OW is very needed.  OW is expecting in a couple months ...adding a baby to the mix will not be a good thing for their R. 

I don't talk about OW with h and won't listen to h talk about her.  One thing he did mention is that OW supports him and his relationship with his kids, yet he has only taken D1 out once in almost a year...so much for support.

Definitely not a healthy R but h won't admit other wise.  I told him when he left that she better be worth it.  He will fight to keep this R with OW not matter how bad.

[in it]

Definitely not a healthy R but h won't admit other wise.  I told him when he left that she better be worth it.  He will fight to keep this R with OW not matter how bad.

Well now the world would come to an end if he might have to admit he was wrong..right??   WOW...

[Anjae]

There is a lot of the affair dynamics in my old thread - The Love Correspondence Between a Husband and OW an Insight: http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=1694.msg98405#msg98405

Sorry guys but this long down the line my mind no longer holds the stuff between Mr J and his OW. Or maybe I no longer want to deal with it...

[ShineOn]

This is something I struggle with all the time.
OW1 was a woman who lived three hours away, straight with a husband and three kids... oh and she was CRAZY. Apparently my W bought her stuff all the time. She bought her s bracelet but OW1 was so flaky she never showed up and W never gave it to her. Things fell apart shortly after that.

OW2 is the woman my W was with when we met. They were together for about two years and I know I was the biggest reason they broke up. I'm not proud of it but we were in our twenties and I would never do it again. It was 15 years ago.
So, the three of us have an unpleasant history... and now we're in the middle of an unpleasant present.

She seems normal. The appropriate age, good job, stable, not crazy... the only thing I will say is I'm SURE the things they had issues with back then have not been "fixed". They don't think they need to do any work on their relationship. And she was in an on again off again relationship when she and my W started "talking." As a matter of fact she was at my W's birthday dinner with her then partner and she and my W were together by the end of that month. Oh and she's never wanted kids and now she's pretty much the step mom of our D4.

It's the usual, they are soulmates and she should have never left her for me. They're going to be together forever.

Sadly, it kind of looks that way from my view. Of course, I only see what she shows me and tells me but it's tough to see anything else. She NEVER talks about OW2 to me (except that they are meant to be). She never talked about OW1 either. She never talks to me about anything except logistics for D4. I think OW2 doesn't "allow" her to be around me more than 10 minutes at a time. At least that's what it seems like anyway.

I think without D4 she would have been a vanisher... but instead I get a front row seat of my D4 with OW2 and W playing happy family.

Any kind of glimpse that it's not what it appears to be would be so helpful right now.

[dadspearl]

Attaching so I can be reassured of the idiocy and not doubt my own freaking sanity.

[sobeit]

Attaching... I also have nightmares, that things are rosy.
Ow had a terrible life, was my H secretary, he told me she has always been after him.
So much more for him to blame her for when the time comes.

[R]

Attaching to understand how life is so much fun with OW!!! 

[Snowdrop]

No clue, not one bit, but am interested to read possibilities of what life must be like in the luuuurrrrvvvv zone with the soul mates

Get a bit of the sense that she's needy, she would have to be to meet and marry a stranger in the matter of weeks, but then again, they are a good match.  Sometimes I think they are maybe soulmates after all, as she reflects the "man" H is now, so with that in mind, she's no great catch.  Sad part is I feel sorry for them, and in a way, if they are happy, then so be it (did I just say that), because I know for sure, I don't want him around.

[hopeandfaith]

I struggled to see how H's OW was an affair down initially.  She is also a pilot, has a degree in human resources, seemed sweet and friendly (I knew her before), and is attractive with a great body.  Really depressing actually!

Eventually H tells me that she has anxiety attacks because of what people think of her, her hair is falling out and she is a 'nanna' because she won't go out in public because she will be judged.  Poor girl  .  Apparently she didn't like H being drunk because he was a little too honest about his feelings too.

When H and I started reconnecting after their break up, she turned up to a work function that he was at (and I was not) and slobbered all over my paraletic H - in public (chameleon!!)  She then started saying that she was happy to go out and meet his family and properly integrate him.

In one of their breakups, H sent her a text telling her that although she tried hard, she was a hopeless pilot and no one wanted to fly with her, they only wanted to --ck her".  She responded with "there's a few home truths in that"

I threw a wobbly in Sept because they wouldn't stop texting and then he seemed to turn to her.  The next 6 weeks or so, they seemed to try to have a normal relationship but when I started throwing out a few crumbs, H seemed to change direction again.  I don't really know what's going on now but I don't think she is seeing much of him because he spends most of his free time with us.  She is moving away in 3 weeks so I will now wait to see if H thinks that his problems with move away with her -  Interesting times ahead.

Overall, H is meaner to her than I ever thought he had the capacity to be.  She is very much a damsel in distress and probably came on H's radar about 4 years ago when he had to drag her through her initial training with the company.  She was a struggler then and he believed in her and had a great deal of patience.  She tried to learn to ski behind our boat last summer too and she was by far, the most hopeless adult I have ever seen attempt it.  Couldn't even grab the rope when it was delivered to her.  No wonder no one wants to fly with her.