Skip to main content
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 16  All   Go Down

Author Topic: Mirror-Work Something for Men

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 12171
  • Gender: Female
Mirror-Work Re: Something for Men
#10: October 04, 2013, 11:23:39 AM
  • Logged
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 12171
  • Gender: Female
Re: Something for Men
#11: October 04, 2013, 11:40:12 AM
http://www.myrkothum.com/life-advice/

For you Dad's whether you are raising your children during this difficult time or only see them from time to time.

Either way this isn't easy for you.....
  • Logged
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 709
  • Gender: Male
Re: Something for Men
#12: October 04, 2013, 11:55:28 AM
Quote from: in it on October 04, 2013, 11:18:03 AM
It's a well known fact men usually live longer being married than single...wonder why that is?? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Better to burn out than fade away.
  • Logged
Me 52,T 34,M 28
D 26, S23
BD 19th Aug 2010
Moved out 4th Dec 2010
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 12171
  • Gender: Female
Re: Something for Men
#13: October 04, 2013, 12:06:24 PM

My, my, hey hey...

I hope you are trying to be intentionally funny because I'm in stitches right now.... ;D ;D ;D USE AN emoticon will ya?!

Are you a Neil Young Fan also? Hey rust never sleeps!

But I'd rather wear out than rust out... ;D ;D ;D
  • Logged
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1425
  • Gender: Male
  • Lord, give me patience, but please hurry!
Re: Something for Men
#14: October 04, 2013, 12:12:23 PM
Quote from: in it on October 04, 2013, 11:18:03 AM
I'm ROTFLMAO!!! It's a well known fact men usually live longer being married than single...wonder why that is?? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Sure, but that is true only if he haven't MLC woman, otherwise live less then single men.
 ;D ;D
  • Logged
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 12171
  • Gender: Female
Re: Something for Men
#15: October 04, 2013, 12:24:15 PM
This is TRUE...guess I forgot about that minor detail!  ::) I understand this has got to kill you guys also.

 I just wish there was some way to assure you that this is going to be OK either way it goes.

 And a lot of you are TOO young to give up the benefits of a relationship that might be a better fit; whether it's with the W you have or the W you might lose or the W that comes back if YOU want her when she does .

  • Logged
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
s
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 658
  • Gender: Male
Re: Something for Men
#16: October 04, 2013, 12:32:13 PM
in it - Thanks for this topic. Will be reading up some of this over the weekend.

I agree, this is going to be OK. Peace.
  • Logged
"we need to learn to love our self enough to let that person go so we can create a better more compassionate state of being for our self and others" - HS member moment
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 12171
  • Gender: Female
Re: Something for Men
#17: October 04, 2013, 02:34:00 PM
Your Welcome Sleepless

It just seems that most of the time everything is the info that it's cheating husbands and not a whole lot on wives.

 I can tell you pretty much for a fact that womens emotional needs are pretty much the forefront and most important. And sorry fellas, but most women HAVE TO TALK.

It's how WE process things. If we're talking and your not listening, dismissing, or any other disrespectful kind of thing..the bedroom will SUFFER believe me.

Now damage is done on both ends of these relationships somehow. It's up to US to deal with whatever it is that keeps the walls up..keeps the control up...feeds the fear and keeps us apart.

AND that starts with US not them. Be the man YOU would want a woman to be with.

 If you have daughters what kind of man would you want them to pick? Be that man.

Don't worry about your W, exW, or whoever it is that drives you nuts is acting like. That's NO reflection on you..even if it feels like it. I know it's hard for men to understand this. They don't want to be "the bad guy".

 Don't let a woman treat you like $hit.
  • Logged
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 926
  • Gender: Male
Re: Something for Men
#18: October 04, 2013, 04:19:59 PM
Thanks for posting this "in it".   Whether man or woman, after BD, affair, divorce, the self esteem and self confidence takes a besting for sure.  It takes time and effort to heal.  We all agree that the self confident man described in the link is most attractive to men and women.  It is healthy and the way to be.  It is what society has dictated to us what a man should be like.

What would you imagine this self confident man would do if his wife cheats on him, and tells him she doesn't love him and acts like a teenager?  My guess is that he would kick her to the curb and find a new wife.

I also agree that most woman like to talk and for men to listen.   When I first knew something was wrong, I asked xW to please talk to me, I told her that I read that most women like to talk, so why wouldn't she talk....   She said she hates to talk and she isn't like most woman....   And she is right about that.

Yes, being happier and living longer in marriages do not apply to ours!!  It's said that married men are the happiest, then single and lastly separated....   Married to an MLCer definitely will fall into last place, I am sure that the stress from this Crisis took a few years from my life....   Perhaps more....
  • Logged
BD 12/2010
Divorced 2/2012
Married 1997
Together since 1989
e
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1236
  • Gender: Male
Re: Something for Men
#19: October 04, 2013, 07:47:18 PM
I have found male confidence can be restored from simply bonding with men.  Married with kids for 20 years, my social life had become just hanging with other couples.  Maybe once a month or so a rare  Guys night.  Now I make time every week to hang out with guys.  I find there's nothing complicated about this.  Turns out many of my buddies are in the same boat and really miss guy time too so it's easy.  I can usually text a few guys from the bar and find someone free to hang out for a couple of hours. 

I don't know why this works. The formula seems so simple and yet it is quite an effective way to get started. 
  • Logged
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 16  All   Go Up
 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.