[Braveheart]

My point is people continually bring up "Keeping their marriage vows" like it is a Christian requirement and an unconditional covenant they have to honour regardless of what their spouse has done.....it isn't, there is no such requirement. I already covered the issues of Covenants in the bible and marriage is a conditional covenant that is broken by infidelity, stoning of the unfaithful was law and a common practice that continued well after the death of Jesus. It is also in the bible that Jesus clearly states he was not there to change old testament law, of which stoning the unfaithful was one of.

Braveheart,

Please don't fall out of your seat.  I am about to agree with you.

 

I am not a religious person, although I did spend many, many, many hours during my formidable years reading and studying the Bible.

Covenant marriages exist - I don't mean to state the obvious.

I don't know of many religions that do not allow divorce in the case of infidelity.  Yes.  The covenant has been broken by the unfaithful spouse.

I think at first (and maybe later?) we all look for "reasons" to Stand.  There is so much confusion and doubt...so much pain.  Keeping ones marriage vows is a good reason, is it not?  And, yet, a marriage is between two people.  One of the parties got the h*ll out of Dodge - so that reason no longer works.

Maybe it is difficult to acknowledge that the reason one Stand's for ones marriage - is because the LBS chooses to.  That's really it is in the end.  A choice.  And when it is a choice, rather than an obligation - you are no longer an innocent bystander or a victim of circumstances.  You have a choice.  You can choose to Stand, or not.

Everyone has choice. 

Limitless

On a different note  - It is interesting to think that a thread In It started on Men's confidence and hygiene lead to this discussion.

My view on using "The Vows" to stand is it's appears to be a last ditch reason that seems a plausible ( a religious obligation)  to friends and family when all other explanations for hanging on are exhausted. I must admit I felt much the same way many here have early on after BD about the vows I made, until my own BIL said "Come on Braveheart deep down you know it's an excuse to hang on. You've kept your vows, she didn't, she's left for another man, you're free". 

I think some get stuck without someone like my well intentioned BIL to drag them up out of the mud, the Vows were about the last reason I had to justify my stance when all others were no longer sustainable.

[in it]

"Come on Braveheart deep down you know it's an excuse to hang on. You've kept your vows, she didn't, she's left for another man, you're free". 

How did you feel when he said this to you? Did you feel like you were free?

[Braveheart]

"Come on Braveheart deep down you know it's an excuse to hang on. You've kept your vows, she didn't, she's left for another man, you're free". 

How did you feel when he said this to you? Did you feel like you were free?

No, but I knew it in my heart to be true and was ready to hear it. It meant a lot coming from him, after all he was talking about his own sister.

[in it]

I Know it must have hit you like a ton of bricks coming from him..that's why I asked did you feel free when he said it.

I had someone say to me "Breathe the free air"

I couldn't say anything. I just stood there thinking" I don't want to be free..I want to be married" all I felt was loss and grief.

This time it's different I'm FINALLY FREE!

He told me once (after the divorce) all he felt was relief..I told him all I felt was loss.

Now the relief has finally kicked in for me.

[Dontgiveup]

stoning of the unfaithful was law and a common practice that continued well after the death of Jesus. It is also in the bible that Jesus clearly states he was not there to change old testment law, of which stoning the unfaithful was one of.

He said what translates to abolish or destroy.  So again I'll ask....why was the woman at the well not stoned?  (And to finish what you began about the law, Jesus finished his sentence with He came to fulfill the law).  Maybe that's why the woman at the well wasn't stoned to death?  Just maybe.

[Slow Fade]

When you stood before the altar, even if you didn’t know it, you made a covenant. A promise before God, to another person.

I also stand by this. The Bible tells us that it is better to not vow a vow than to vow a vow and break it. God was a witness to my promise. To me it was as much of a promise to God as it was to my H. I believe God will honor my commitment to what I promised. I will listen for His direction and I will follow His voice.........regardless of whatever outcome I desire in my flesh.

My rewards await me on the other side of the curtain, not here on earth.

[Braveheart]

stoning of the unfaithful was law and a common practice that continued well after the death of Jesus. It is also in the bible that Jesus clearly states he was not there to change old testment law, of which stoning the unfaithful was one of.

He said what translates to abolish or destroy.  So again I'll ask....why was the woman at the well not stoned?  (And to finish what you began about the law, Jesus finished his sentence with He came to fulfill the law).  Maybe that's why the woman at the well wasn't stoned to death?  Just maybe.

Afraid not...“Think not that I came to destroy the law or the prophets; I came not to destroy, but to fulfill. For verily I say unto you, till heaven and earth pass away, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass away from the law, till all things be accomplished” (Mt. 5:17-18)

[Braveheart]

When you stood before the altar, even if you didn’t know it, you made a covenant. A promise before God, to another person.

I also stand by this. The Bible tells us that it is better to not vow a vow than to vow a vow and break it. God was a witness to my promise. To me it was as much of a promise to God as it was to my H. I believe God will honor my commitment to what I promised. I will listen for His direction and I will follow His voice.........regardless of whatever outcome I desire in my flesh.

My rewards await me on the other side of the curtain, not here on earth.

You didn't break your Vow, your spouse did, they broke the covenant of your marriage, which means it's over whether you stand or not.

[Slow Fade]

In my world Braveheart, its not over until God says its over. 

[Dontgiveup]

stoning of the unfaithful was law and a common practice that continued well after the death of Jesus. It is also in the bible that Jesus clearly states he was not there to change old testment law, of which stoning the unfaithful was one of.

He said what translates to abolish or destroy.  So again I'll ask....why was the woman at the well not stoned?  (And to finish what you began about the law, Jesus finished his sentence with He came to fulfill the law).  Maybe that's why the woman at the well wasn't stoned to death?  Just maybe.

Afraid not...“Think not that I came to destroy the law or the prophets; I came not to destroy, but to fulfill. For verily I say unto you, till heaven and earth pass away, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass away from the law, till all things be accomplished” (Mt. 5:17-18)

I'm not sure why you typed "Afraid not...", then repeated what I referenced.  But, no biggie.  Enjoy your evening.