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Author Topic: Discussion Ask a Mentor 7

M
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Discussion Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#10: November 04, 2013, 07:31:22 AM
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?action=post;topic=3608.90;last_msg=263286


Hi! Could use some insight on my thread. Hope that's the right link. I'm on my phone.
Thanks!

I responded on your thread:

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3608.95

Limitless
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« Last Edit: November 04, 2013, 08:06:07 AM by limitless »
The very purpose of our life is happiness, which is sustained by hope. We have no guarantee about the future, but we exist in the hope of something better. Hope means keeping going, thinking, ‘I can do this.’ It brings inner strength, self-confidence, the ability to do what you do honestly, truthfully and transparently.  The Dalai Lama
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#11: November 04, 2013, 09:01:03 AM
I am wondering how to trust but verify.  At what point do you stop spying - when you are satisfied?  I have some good evidence that my H affair is over but I want to verify that he is not still friends with her, especially hanging out with her after work.  He gets home about 2 hours after he's done working and at this point he has gotten fed up with my spying (it caused a lot of tension/fighting between us and embarrassment of him) and if I get caught, it will cause more problems if he is truly not doing anything.  I have a lot of evidence that he has been two-faced to me. :(   I am wondering if we have peace right now only because he is getting away with what he wants after work because he has put the fear in me that if I spy anymore "just divorce him".  He said that out of anger and embarrassment over my last spying though where I showed his bartender friends pics of him and her and asked if they'd been there.  This was over a month ago.  Things have been smooth since and really good in the past week (no showering right after work).  Now that he has put his guard down a bit, I wonder if I should verify that he is not doing anything by renting a car and checking on him after work this week.  I don't want to spend the money but I also don't want to be sleeping with my entire town should anything be going on (this girl had another guy coming out of her apartment last week which was encouraging to me except that I was also told that "she gets around".  My H does not know I know this about the other guy).  My mother and sister are going to come here next weekend and H is going on an overnighter with his friend.  I am very nervous about this because he has 4 tickets to a casino event and so far tells me only the two of them are going.  I wish he'd realize what that looks like to me.  I think I would have a huge relief if I could see that nothing was going on after work this week.  Please let me know what you think I should do, I need to know quickly.  I can't drive my own car to check on him because he has a lot of friends near work coming and going and the car is SO obvious/unique.

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4160.40

answered on your thread.
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« Last Edit: November 04, 2013, 07:13:30 PM by Anjae »
M
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#12: November 05, 2013, 08:37:09 PM
Sorry to be a pest but I got the big D text today and don't know what to think. Thanks anyone who can help me.

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3608.msg264337#msg264337

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The very purpose of our life is happiness, which is sustained by hope. We have no guarantee about the future, but we exist in the hope of something better. Hope means keeping going, thinking, ‘I can do this.’ It brings inner strength, self-confidence, the ability to do what you do honestly, truthfully and transparently.  The Dalai Lama
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#13: November 07, 2013, 02:16:12 PM
Could I get a bit of perspective on my thread please... thanks

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4229.msg264992#msg264992
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BD Feb 13 - OW discovered
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D
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#14: November 07, 2013, 04:32:29 PM
Need some help of anyone's been through the nasty divorce.

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4140.0
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S
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#15: November 09, 2013, 10:37:26 AM
I'm looking for the article that talks about MLCers leaving and how some say it is temporary with plans to return and mean it while others say it as a conscious lie ect. If anyone knows which one I'm talking about and can respond to this I would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks
Shaggy
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Thanks to all who comment!

Me:43   W:40                                                     D: 19      S: 8 (developmental issues)
S: 18 (mine from breakup with W pre marriage)
Married: 15, together 23
BD: Jan. 2013   W moved out: Feb 2013
D: filed 11/26/13
D: final 7/30/14
M
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#16: November 12, 2013, 05:59:40 AM
Could use some insight, inspiration, encouragement....had a really obsessive weekend.  Thanks!

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3608.msg266326#msg266326
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The very purpose of our life is happiness, which is sustained by hope. We have no guarantee about the future, but we exist in the hope of something better. Hope means keeping going, thinking, ‘I can do this.’ It brings inner strength, self-confidence, the ability to do what you do honestly, truthfully and transparently.  The Dalai Lama
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#17: November 14, 2013, 05:06:57 AM
hi Have started a new thread but cant see it anywhere have i done something wrong ?? really needed to get some feedback

Answered on your thread
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4269.0
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« Last Edit: November 14, 2013, 05:16:03 AM by OldPilot »
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#18: November 14, 2013, 08:55:55 AM
Hi - could I get some input on my thread please ...thanks

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4229.msg267076#msg267076
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#19: November 15, 2013, 04:50:55 AM
please can someone read my thread and give me a bit of advice even if i have just ranted thanks just feeling bit crappy today

Responded on thread and Stayed too!
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« Last Edit: November 15, 2013, 05:31:42 AM by OldPilot »
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