[JD]

Like many have, I have changed in similar ways. Happy in my own company, content in my own skin, my core intact but behaviors and attitudes that did not serve me well gone, and exchanged for better.
One thing that has changed in a most significant way is that there is now a piece of me that is untouchable and unshareable but with God.
That is a part of me now no one will know.

[Breakingthecycle]

Mermaid, I think I knew that things had to change, that they couldn't go on as they were.  I went to see a psychologist who seemed to want to work on the marriage side of things.  I didn't want that, to me that seems like a secondary problem so I stopped seeing him and googled madly and came upon a website, sponsored by the government that had a programme you can work through at your own pace.  Online support and Counselling via skype is also available but I didn't use that. 

Actually understanding why my body was reacting the way it did was a huge help, I could rationalise what was happening.  And then slowly self confidence began to be built, piece by piece, and gradually I was attempting more and more.

I told H the other day that I will wait for him but not sit still and wait for him, I need to keep challenging myself, even if it is in small ways.  I have missed out on a lot of small things that many people take for granted and I mean to make up for lost time!

[Mermaid]

I told H the other day that I will wait for him but not sit still and wait for him, I need to keep challenging myself, even if it is in small ways.  I have missed out on a lot of small things that many people take for granted and I mean to make up for lost time!

You're a shining example!!! Although we're not all agoraphobic, I suppose the many of us miss out on life while we're focusing too much on our H/W.

[hopeandfaith]

What a great topic.  Gives us an opportunity to reflect a bit and also be prompted by what others have written.

I have just started seeing a psychologist and we talked about my strength being a weakness.  She told me that I haven't quite grasped the concept that if I give up being so strong, I won't crumble into helplessness.  I have worn my strength like a badge of honour and while it's got me far, I have also found it lonely.

So, I am learning to lean on others.  I have learnt the value of friendship this year and have learnt that my H left my life, he didn't take it off me.  This means that I have attended family celebrations with his family, used our ski boat and socialised with our friends (who were all introduced to me by him).  I thought he was the driver of our social life but have learned this is not the case.

I have also been a lot braver/open with my love of all things spiritual.  My family and H have always thought that to be a bit out there but I have relied quite heavily on it this year and the proof is in the pudding so to speak.  I have been told that I am not normal because of how well I have coped and that the grace and dignity I have shown is outstanding.  It is because I believe in a higher love.  I believe in something bigger than us and I think I am leading the way in my family and also making it part of my kids emotional diet - which I am proud of.

[Mermaid]

A tree that cannot bend
will crack in the wind.

The hard and stiff will be broken
the soft and supple will prevail.

From the 76th verse of Tao