[LettingGo]

Thank you for sharing that, Smitty!! It really DOES help me to see inside their "secret" MLC and affair dynamics... it really does!

I hope my husband spills the beans to OW about us buying a house before I put it on Facebook at Christmastime, LOL!! On the one hand, I don't want to do anything that will cause her "scorned woman" instincts to ramp up... on the other hand, perhaps us buying a house together would "encourage" her to accept he is not going to be with her....

Of course, him stopping all communication with her would be a first step... ya think? 

[Battlefield]

Thanks LG,
 I know what u mean, it is nice to hear that the R they had was nothing but stress and unhappiness. Which I knew they truly are miserable people that are so unhappy with themselves that couldn't b happy with anyone. They are so confused and deceived that it's impossible for them to love anyone! I know they say they r happy and in love but they know they truly know that deep down it was never and will never work. I told u earlier my H wanted to leave in April but the guilt and deception, minipulation of OW is what kept him there so long. Me and my H never really fought we would have discussions and move on but when I heard what she does and is doing from my H it made me realize also that these OW's R that way possesive,jealous,sneaky,manipulative,and insecure. My H was use to me who did everything myself and everything for him, he had went to a OW who couldn't even learn how to sign on to her bank account online by herself. She couldn't cook anything unless it came out of the microwave. Just stuff I knew he would realize and not like at all, but I think what really bothered my H is how he saw her so fake and doing things that he knew she normally wouldn't do she was just doing it bc she thought that is what he wanted. And she couldn't carry on a intelligent conversation or talk to him about his issues at work like he always did with me he always contacted me when there was an issue and i would help him resolve it. I actually found him contacting me early on about work stuff problems and I knew he wanted me to help him but I didn't he wanted to b on his own with his OW you got it! My H said he started to really see things and knew sometime in March that they would never work, and his feelings were not what they thought but u see he still stayed until July, CRAZY . That is how bad the Guilt and manipulation from OW was.

So I knew in April he was trying to leave OW but I didn't want him to, bc he still would of kept seeing her so I wanted him to stay until he literally coudn't stand her. Which happened and her Kids he would do everything to stay away working 7 days straight and only being off when OW was at work. But I kept quiet and did my thing let them sink! I knew it would eventually and it did!
Funny though she is running to her ExH to try to get info on me and H, bc he doesn't have anything to do with her and I have not talked to anybody about what is going on now bc I want keep it stress free and the less people r in our business the better!

[LettingGo]

he had went to a OW who couldn't even learn how to sign on to her bank account online by herself. She couldn't cook anything unless it came out of the microwave. Just stuff I knew he would realize and not like at all, but I think what really bothered my H is how he saw her so fake and doing things that he knew she normally wouldn't do she was just doing it bc she thought that is what he wanted. And she couldn't carry on a intelligent conversation or talk to him about his issues at work like he always did with me he always contacted me when there was an issue and i would help him resolve it.

Smitty..... this is how my husband has described his OW when he "shares" or let's thing slip! I've heard him say "she doesn't have a pot to piss in... she's needy and insecure... she lied about how much money she makes... she didn't pay bills she agreed to pay....she's a terrible Mother..... she can't and doesn't cook... she begs, cries, and promises to change... tells him she can't live without him...."

He just told me this past weekend "the fights between me and OW are TEN TIMES WORSE than the worst fight we have EVER had!" which I can't even imagine, cuz the last big one we had, I called the police, LOL!!

He tells me she is "ignorant" and he "can't talk to her.. she's stupid..." tells me he LOVES talking to me, which is funny as hell, because my husband thinks "chit chatting" and talking are a waste of time, hahaha!! He believes her to be manipulative and "trying to ruin my marriage!!"  ya think??

he would do everything to stay away working 7 days straight and only being off when OW was at work. But I kept quiet and did my thing let them sink! I knew it would eventually and it did!

Smitty.... it just dawned on me that when my husband is at OW's, she may be working most of the time, which would be ideal for him... then he can just use her place to drink and smoke pot all day and night.... it actually makes a little sense... that he goes to her place cuz he doesn't care about her... just wants to escape responsibility, and he cares so little for her, he's willing to lie and tell her whatever to get in her house while she works and kowtows before him... he must feel like the devil in charge at her place... the problem is.... like ALL OW... she demands MORE!!! Wants to know where they stand... doesn't want to be USED, LOL!!! Really? Maybe you should have cut your losses about 18 months ago when he told you he would NEVER leave me for you, OW!!

I truly beieve they can only stand STUPID people in their state of mind... the chaos reigns... mine uses the phrase "how can I be expected to remember in this fog?" frequently when I hold his feet to the fire...

Thanks for sharing... keep it coming, girl!! 

[Anjae]

They stand a lot of rubish with other person. Mine also couldn't stan chit chat but he did it all the time with OW1. OW1 could not cook, said husband she did not knew how to be a wife or housewife...did that stop him?...No!

With OW1 I can see the not wanting responsabilities thing. husband lived in rented rooms, OW1 lived with her parents hundres of km away and they would meet on the weekend. Even if she was always dreaming of a fantasy home for the two of them, they never had a life together.

But with OW2 he does have a life together, all the bills and responsabilities that living with someone bring. So, don't know how he manages that ... he wanted to be free, not to have to care with a thing...Well, maybe she takes care of everything, including taking care of him...Looking at their correspondence that is waht it looks like, she takes care of everything.

[LettingGo]

nah.... AnneJ... OW doesn't have to take care of anything anymore!! Your husband is TRAPPED!! He's not FREE!! Mine isn't free any time he is with OW.... but he did tell me he thinks he goes there because it "REPRESENTS freedom" to him..... the reality is they are trapped, but they associate being free with the OW.... we call it a cheeseless tunnel... but they still TRY to make it work.... I call that "arguing with reality", like when you go to the store for condensed milk right before a holiday and there are no cans on the shelf.... they are sold out... but you stand in front of that shelf looking for Condensed Milk.... as if it is there SOMEWHERE... you just can't see it... BUT, what you are doing is ARGUING WITH REALITY... there is NO CONDENSED MILK, LOL!!

[Shantilly Lace]

I love condensed milk....

But yes I have done the standing in front of a shelf too, hoping for one to materialise. ol

[Anjae]

Lol the image of staring of an empty shelf of condensed milk and hoping for a can to materialise is very, very, funny. 

I know he is trapped, LG. So very TRAPPED. We don't talk but there is always the grapevine. The man cannot go anywhere without her, and, if he goes, he has to let her know where he is, and, if he comes out of the city they live at, he has to go back right he finished whatever he had went to do.

It has been over 1.5 years since he come to our home town where is family also lives. No way, OW2 does not want the man here. Who knows, maybe he still knows the way to my family house... He did not even come last christmas, stayed with OW2 and her family. He had never done that before, first year that ever happened.

Looking from my side, husbands life is a dark tunnel mixed with trapped hamster in the wheel. He is just a toy in OW2 hands. And he does not look happy. Saw some recent photos of him in my SIL FB and, boy, did the man look old, tired, bags under the eyes, dead eyes. I have no idea who that person is. Really, I was amazed and horrified.

[Buggy31]

Captain curious here....is the condensed milk for pie....why is it sold out.....


Anyway here's one thing I know for sure...OW brings the to H***.....really...I don't just mean a sucky place but H***.  AnneJ I'm guessing OW1 wasn't crazy enough...he needed a real nutter...hopefully this one will drag him down...I know it sounds nutz but a crazy alienator is an advantage because the move things along. 

Meanwhile it's the LBS job to enoy time to ourself....do what we need to nurture ourselves...and express gratitude that they are not our problem..oh and to be very cAreful not to play OW to OW

[Battlefield]

LG,
 That is so funny how most of these OW's are so similar. My H told me that he couldn't stand OW kids but it wasn't the kids fault it was Her's he said she is not the mother I am, he said he made comments to her that we raised our kids so different and they need discipline. He said he could tell she was trying to change which annoyed him bc he knew it wasnt for the kids she was just trying to pretend to b a different person all around.
I told him yeah I know I remember telling u from day 1 that u have no idea who she is bc she is hiding everything and that one day u will see the real OW. He said I know I remember u telling me that but at the time I could of cared less. I was so far gone that it wouldn't of mattered what u said or did. And thinking back OW did do alot of the thiings that I cant stand but I just made excuses to myself and ignored everything bc I was in the moment and I loved the feeling, he said I told u from about April on I knew we would never b together and I knew my feelings for her were not that they were in the beginning like U said they were just infatuation, he said that is why I found myself thinking back to the beginning to get that feeling back and I realized that those feelings were not real at all.  I think the OW are so similar it's scary Ow would do the same thing beg cry plead manipulate ect.  She also told him she couldn't live without him.  Talk about issues, H told me that she has mental problems and he felt so guilty for leaving her in this situation and knowing she is not all there made him feel worse. I told him I understand what u r saying but OW put herself in this position herself by getting involved with a married man!  He said he knew that but he is guilty of it too. I just said ok.
I will say in the last couple days he has been in a much better mood talking, engaging with the family and is talking to me more and more not just sitting in the backyard having a beer or 2. He hasn't been in the backyard for days!  It's all looking up everyday.

[NewBeginnings]

Smitty2929 ~ Things are sounding really good.  I love hearing what your H has to say.  My H has been with
his Skank since last Sept., living together since Dec..  Hmmmm, I guess he isn't seeing the truth about her
even though she won't leave every other weekend so our son can go to H's house.  She has a shack of her own to go to.  It's not like she has no place to go.  In the last week I have learned she is also lying about things that I know are true and my H believes her.     Wake up H!

NB