[BrandNew]

I wonder how the MLC and power of the OW is affected when there is an OC.  She will be the mother of his child, forever connected.  Looking back at his previous life probably would seem impossible considering the increased damage of an OC.  Seems that even if reality hits, the MLCer would almost have to continue with the new life to justify the insanity. 

[Anjae]

I wonder how the MLC and power of the OW is affected when there is an OC.  She will be the mother of his child, forever connected.  Looking back at his previous life probably would seem impossible considering the increased damage of an OC.  Seems that even if reality hits, the MLCer would almost have to continue with the new life to justify the insanity.

I knwo a man that married OW and had a couple of children with her. After two years he was divorced and wanted to be back with his fists wife, they have a daughter, but she had already remarried. So, they will not always want to continue the new life. But some I guess wil.

[OldPilot]

http://haleyseibel.com/

This is how one person proved it.

Not my style but I will post it for anyone's enjoyment

[readytofixmyselffirst]

While confronting the OW seems to be an issue that often leads them to be together more, I sense that OM tends to be more frightened by confrontation than OW is. Just my hunch.

Since confrontation is not recommended, I suggest the following actions:

1. Sending a official lab diagnosis of H's herpes to OW address
2. Sending a subscription in your H's name of Hustler or Beautiful Naked Drwarves that are into Bondage to Ow's house. "Hey, I am just forwarding H's best mag to you house.
3. Giving OW's address to an ultra conservative religious group as your recommendation for becoming a new member. This is really good if the group feels that all adultery should be punished by stoning.
4. Putting a picture of ow's car and phone number on Craig"s list and selling the car for $10.00
5. Putting OW on Craig's list for ten dollars. Brings ow in contact with lots of options......LOL


Okay, I don't subscribe to contacting ow or really making om/ow and issue by making them real to you. One honest thing my w told me about om was "if it wasn't him, it would be someone else". If you push ow#1 away, he will find ow #2.... the journey will continue and the escape and avoidance is a process that you can not stop.

(((Hugs))

[limitless]

OP,

All I can say is...OMG!

That website is priceless!

L

[Foxberry]

That website is PRICELESS 

OMG I wish I had the guts to make up a website like that!!!!

Lots of love
Foxy xxx

[eternity]

Hi,
I think if we ever want to have a chance in reconciliating that we need to able to forgive. this is part of the healing we need to do. I am not saying this is easy. As LGO says it takes an enormous effort if the MLC is in an ongoing R with OW. But I have no intention to play the victim, because then apart from the ongoing pain I make myself weak and bitter, full of resentment and I will not do this to myself. for me the way to go is practising forgiveness, trying to accept that this has nothing to do with me and having faith that my H is strong enough to come through this.
Sorry, but I hate the word adultery. For me using that word makes that I am judging and releasing judgment seems to me is the first step to forgiveness and letting go.

I think in time the remorse will be there, but it will need a lot more patience from my side
I believe Remorse  will  show itself in small actions and gestures, not in big words. i need to live it, feel it, see that actions and words match again, I need to see a H being at ease and enjoying the small things of every day life.
 Do not know when this will happen, if ever, because for now H is still running
Take care
E

[LisaLives]

I have a recurring burning desire to contact my exH's OW(new wife)'s exH.  When I first saw my attorney, he asked me if I was going to--he said most people do, and he didn't care one way or the other, but he wanted me to let him know if I did. 

Has anyone here ever done it or know anyone who has?  The urge comes and goes periodically and it would be really easy--e-mail and all...  I know all the reasons not to, but I just can't help wondering...  This week the desire comes from the fact that my kids have talked about him a lot lately and even my neighbors said that exH likes to talk about what a "douchebag" he is.  When I asked S14 to explain what makes him that, he said, well, he messes up the custody schedule, expects OW to change her plans when he has a change of plans, makes changes at the last minute, and a bunch of other common things, and I started laughing.  While I do refrain from badmouthing their father most of the time, I could not resist, and said, "well by that definition, your father is the biggest douchebag there is..."  But I did follow that up by explaining that those actions do not a douchebag make--that is just poor planning and organization and unfortunately, no offense, but most dudes suck at that stuff because mostly moms do it, and besides it's hard...

I want to call him, I want to know if I think he's a douchebag...  I know I shouldn't and I won't, but has anyone else and did you learn anything?  Just curious...     

[Standing4Myself]

I've read some stories about 'the Ex's' getting together starting relationships...especially if he's also an LBS.
what reason will you give for calling him though? what will you say? I mean, you can't call him and ask him if he's really a dbag.

We are bad at planning and organization...and cooking, and cleaning, and multi-tasking, and and and...
Nobody kills spiders better than me though!   

[Chrysalis]

Hi LL

I've often thought of doing this too.  Just interested in getting his view of the situation from the other side - so to speak.  I'm pretty sure OW is in MLC as well as my ex but as I have no idea what she was like before and I have never met her, I don't know if her character has changed.

I do know OW spun my ex the usual story of how her H mistreated her but also that he came straight over to get her when my ex dumped her (briefly) in February.  No idea if her divorce has gone through yet but I guess it has given that they are buying an expensive house and my ex certainly doesn't have that kind of money (unless he's had a load of money stashed away all these years that he never told me about .

Just keep holding back though, as I'm not sure that it would help things if he told OW I had contacted him.