[justasking]

Smitty

Your H is very early in his return. You are starting to push but need to sit back and find more patience. Reread HB's stages. You may or maybot find your H but understand the process. But if your H is acting like a 19 year old that is one of his demons he needs to deal with. If you don't let him the 19 will reappear another time to be addressed.

Towards the end of the crisis they go back to close the doors from where they have come and that inlcudes the replay door.

Keep watching and digging for more patience. This part is very difficult  and can take another 2 years until your real H appears with backwards and forwards.

xx

[kikki]

Smitty - my H at 21 months post BD is putting out the feelers about coming home.
I couldn't even imagine having him here at 12mths post BD (is that right?)

I remember what he was like then.  Such a kid - it was very difficult to reconcile him with the person that I knew before.  Our teenage sons called him the douche bag.  They were so embarrassed.  This teenage stuff seems to be finally waning quite a bit now. 

Hang in there. JA is right.  This will need enormous patience.

[Battlefield]

Thanks Kiki and Just,
 I hear you and yes it is and will b tough. I am not saying anything to H or asking anything. I just vent to u guys and my sister. He isn't aware that he is driving me crazy I just put on the Happy Face and keep going.
Yes Kiki 12 months almost to the day of BD 10/05/2010. I know he is in withdrawal but that part does seem to b getting better.
Just thanks so much I didn't think about them going back so that door will close. I am so grateful that my H and I are in the place we R, and I know it will get better last night was one of those nights that I just wanted to b over.
you are right he does go all over the place though in the beginning he would hide in the closet or bathroom to change or get in the shower and at night he would b under the cover to take off his shorts to sleep (he sleeps in his boxer briefs), but the other day he came into the bathroom where I was doing my hair walked in his briefs and then just dropped them to get in the shower he would of gotten into the shower to take them off. Now for the last 2 days or so he is back to hiding and that day he slept under the covers he has been sleeping on top with another blanket. Well he has went back to that.
It's all a little comical at times but sometimes I feel like I have the plague.
I am digging deep  sooooooo Deep.
Thanks to all of u I can vent here then put on the happy face and keep going!!!!!!!!!1

[justasking]

Smitty

I hear you and yes it is and will b tough. I am not saying anything to H or asking anything. I just vent to u guys and my sister. He isn't aware that he is driving me crazy I just put on the Happy Face  and keep going.

Venting here is the right thing to do. I think as they move along their tunnel our patience starts to crack and it does get harder to detach and let it happen. But you're hanging in there and doing a good job 

xx

[ziggee]

Oh my.... help me!!! 21 months BD and others more... I am at what 8... *sigh* Tic toc... OP says time is on our side.. tick tock... tick tock... crap did an  other hour just pass... Guess I will be seeing you in a other... whats 21 minus 8? Oh yeah 13 did I carry the 1... oh wait this is not LONG division... With all your help.... I will still be here in 13 months... All of your courage is inspiring!!!

Thanks

Me.

[kikki]

Oh my.... help me!!! 21 months BD and others more... I am at what 8... *sigh* Tic toc... OP says time is on our side.. tick tock... tick tock... crap did an  other hour just pass... Guess I will be seeing you in a other... whats 21 minus 8? Oh yeah 13 did I carry the 1... oh wait this is not LONG division... With all your help.... I will still be here in 13 months... All of your courage is inspiring!!!

LOL Ziggee - go and eat some more of that soup.  That'll fill in 15 minutes ........ 

[Dandy Lion]

I hear you Ziggee, if only there was a time machine, we could speed along into the future at least to know how long this is gonna take!  It's the not knowing that does my head in!

[ziggee]

Oh my.... help me!!! 21 months BD and others more... I am at what 8... *sigh* Tic toc... OP says time is on our side.. tick tock... tick tock... crap did an  other hour just pass... Guess I will be seeing you in a other... whats 21 minus 8? Oh yeah 13 did I carry the 1... oh wait this is not LONG division... With all your help.... I will still be here in 13 months... All of your courage is inspiring!!!

LOL Ziggee - go and eat some more of that soup.  That'll fill in 15 minutes ........ 

We dont have a microwave.... so I would have to heat it on the stove... and pea soup burns really easy so it will have to be real slow... just heating it should take... oh 1/2 hour.  THen if I over heat it... I will have to wait for it to cool.  I can kill an hour just having peo soup.  Then I can take 1/2 hour to write about it.... then twenty minutes fixing the quotes and the typos I can see...  Only to find out next morning.... I can't even read it.

[Battlefield]

Hey Ziggee,
 My H came back almost 12mo to the day. He is now in the OW withdraw phase and moving into acceptance. Everybody is different and no Crisis is the same, don't look at everybody else's  time just focus on u and let it go I know it is hard but u just have to let him go. It was the best thing I did and I did that 2 mo in. I just let him b and just focused on me and my Kids. That is the best thing u can do for u and your H.
I'm so sorry that u r here but u will get through this and u will b a stronger better person bc of it. I started thinking of all the good that has come out of this and I'm not saying I would do this again or even want to but there has been so much good and positive that came from this situation that I am grateful (in some way). If u can look at the good that is and will come of this and don't worry about your H he will get through this and so will u and u will b better and have a better marriage if u both choose to.  Keep positive have faith and if u Pray, Pray like there is no tomorrow.

[In this for ME]

Smitty-
ExH hasn't been modest about  nudity at all- never has been.
 I find it quite amusing as that particular trait of his hasn't changed. We haven't ML yet  but he has no qualms about parading around naked in front of me or sleeping with me with nothing on..