[Thirsty Duck]

Christmas 2011, I give her quite a few gifts (still reeling after BD a month earlier), she gave me a few things (probably already bought from pre-BD days).

Christmas 2012, I gave her some chocolate, a pair of leather driving gloves, and some stocking gifts . She gave me nothing.

Christmas 2013, I will probably give her a few token gifts; I expect nothing in return. Two years in and she keeps going deeper into the tunnel.

[CrazyTrain]

Just chiming in here....every Christmas Eve, we have given the kids new pajamas.  That has been the tradition in MY home since before H and I got together.  I do not intend to stop that tradition now that H has left.  I will invite H over for Christmas Eve because I know that he will want to be there for the kids.  As far as a gift, H mentioned something that he wanted to get for himself, and I thought about talking to the kids about all of us going in on it together.  If the kids are okay with it, then the gift will be from all of us, and not just from me.  I am still contemplating whether or not I want to get him a gift that is just from me.  I still have some time to think about that one. 

To me, it is all a personal choice.  There is no right or wrong way in this.  If you feel comfortable giving your MLCer a gift, knowing full well that you most likely will not get one, then by all means, do what you feel is right for you.  If you do not feel comfortable giving your MLCer a gift, there is nothing that says you HAVE to give them a gift.  The CHOICE is solely yours, and yours alone! 

CT     

[BB64]

Snowdrop,
Your situation is very different to mine. I completely understand your stance on this.
We can have a lovely, special party thread here on Christmas eve.  I'll be here  xx

[DCD]

tricky!

the first christmas after husband left, i ended up spending more on him than anybody else (with the exception of son) and got the most gawdawful beaded necklace thingy (i can't believe he even picked it out...) and a candle.  this from the man who used to buy big rubbermaid bins to use as my stocking.  i was heartbroken, not from the lack of gifts but because of what it represented.  i still hadn't found out about OW at that time.
 
i would not buy husband a gift if it weren't for son, but what i now get him (same every year - doesn't even have to bother opening it, because i'm sure he can easily guess) is a 5x7 of son's school pic (i bought him a frame for the second christmas after he left - he can change that out or not) and a $25 gift card for son's favourite restaurant so they can go together.  last year, during his failed return attempt, i added a couple of cigars and i'm glad i didn't go overboard because within a month, he was gone again. 

[Snowdrop]

Maybe I can send him a photo of me and the kids outside the soup kitchen, but then again, he probably won't get it as he will be on vacation somewhere in the South Pacific with OW.

Wish I was kidding on this one

[BB64]

You won't be outside a soup kitchen!
You'll be in your kitchen pouring out some sort of drink to join in the osrty, here

[Snowdrop]

You won't be outside a soup kitchen!
You'll be in your kitchen pouring out some sort of drink to join in the osrty, here

You are absolutely right.

[BB64]

What's an osrty? 

Hehe, I will be here with a bottle of irish cream and chocolates. And my kids, trying to rob me of it all

[Snowdrop]

What's an osrty? 

Doesn't matter, I'll join anyway.  I'm guessing its a party due to it being Christmas?

Reminds me, some of those gifts from last year still sitting in the garage, in fact most of them.

[Breakingthecycle]

I've always tried hard to surprise H with Christmas gifts.  Last year, pre BD I had printed off details of places to visit in NZ and added a little note that we could plan our first holiday together.  I debated after BD whether to give it to him or not and ended up giving him the envelope when we were alone on Christmas night.  It went unopened for about 6 weeks.  He said later he thought it was a list of demands from me ( it was one very fat envelope so the thought of it being a list must have been scarey )

I bought tickets for a concert that I know he likes just before he left!  The concert is at the beginning of December.  I have given him the tickets saying it is an early Christmas present, and he can take whoever he likes.  The tickets are still sat here on his desk.  I refuse to think about the waste of money if he doesn't use them, not my problem.

I'm not expecting anything from H this year either.  Christmas pre-BD I got nothing!!  Last year (big family Christmas with D and SIL from overseas) it was a gift voucher from a hardware store, which was bought on Christmas Eve, at the same time as he was buying nuts and bolts for a work project (showed up on the business credit card!) For my 50th birthday last month a got a generic card in the mail with 'from H'.  Made me feel really good!