[limitless]

This seems to be true for my MLCer.  He seems to be the epitome of low energy wallower.

There was an alienator at bomb drop. Of course he hid that and said it was all about the fact he no longer loved ME. That one didn't work, so he moved on to OW #2 and now willing and available OW #3. He is 3 1/2 years post bomb drop and just now doing some of the things high energy replayers do soon after bomb drop.

That is why watching the MLCer and attempting to determine where he or she may be in the process is such a waste of time. I remember feeling glee when I heard that OW #2 didn't work out.

He just went out and found another one.

This really shows how little this has to do with the OW. It seems that any person who would validate his feelings would do.

As for those who never leave the OW. Does this mean that the MLCer never leaves Replay?  I don't know if I believe that. If there is no way to reconnect or reconcile with his or her past (in whatever manner) and the MLCer resigns him or herself to the choices made while in Replay - I think the MLCer may still maneuver through Replay, but is likely to live a sad, depressed life.

I think my BIL is such a person. He did leave the original alienator (after 10 years!), but his ex had remarried and moved on. He later married my sister. Is she an OW?  Or an attempt to move forward in his life?  He displays no replay.  Just low energy wallowing on occasion. He recently visited his hometown to attempt reconnection with his kids. My sister encouraged him to make the trip.

L

[I reckon so]

OP, Limitless,

why do you think a low energy MLCer would bounce of the bottom and just find another person more frequently than a high energy replayer?

[OldPilot]

why do you think a low energy MLCer would bounce of the bottom and just find another person more frequently than a high energy replayer?

in my case there is NO other person and I have seen no replay antics for a very long time, however escape and avoid continues, IMHO.
What is  fueling it I have no idea.

Depression prevails, is the only thing that I know.

Another person is not a requirement to continue Escape and Avoid.

Why they continue to remain in REPLAY, I guess if I could FIX that I would be a millionaire.

[limitless]

OP, Limitless,

why do you think a low energy MLCer would bounce of the bottom and just find another person more frequently than a high energy replayer?

I don't necessarily think that a low energy MLCer is more likely to find another OW more frequently than a high energy replayer.

I think both are apt to continue to seek out OWs. 

The thing is - a high energy replayer (in my opinion - and take that for what it is worth  ) - may have a propensity to hit a bottom sooner - due to the high energy activity making that MLCer "burn out".

Now that I've written that sentence - does it make any sense?

That in no way means that the High energy replayer will end the crisis any sooner than a low energy wallower.  Remember - the end of Replay is NOT the end of the crisis.  I'm guessing that the end of replay is just the "beginning of the end."

The crisis lasts as long as it lasts.  High energy Replayers - who "burn out" sooner than a low energy wallower - may spend "more time" in Depression/Withdrawal.  The "Acceptance" stage may take a long, long time. 

Putting time limits on the crisis is really a huge waste of time.  One can only look at the entire crisis in retrospect - or - as OP states, in the rear view mirror.

I hope that makes sense

L

[Albatross]

Jung said that one have to reach phase of humility and then he will be able recognize animus / anima. That is crucial for going out of replay imo. Then they pull out projections of animus / anima from everyone.

What that means ? Means they have be beaten by life and then their big narcissistic, egocentric, fantasy ego deflated...

[Searching4Answers]

Jung said that one have to reach phase of humility and then he will be able recognize animus / anima. That is crucial for going out of replay imo. Then they pull out projections of animus / anima from everyone.

What that means ? Means they have be beaten by life and then their big narcissistic, egocentric, fantasy ego deflated...

My MLCer keeps making comments like "I might as well drink the kool-aid" meaning that he should just stop fighting it.

[Albatross]

“When in their ripe years men become effeminate and women belligerent, this is always an indication that a part of the psyche which should be turned inward is directed toward the outside world, that these persons have failed to accord their inner life its due recognition. For we are at the mercy of a contra-sexual partner, unprepared for the surprises he has in store, only so long as we have not recognized his true nature.  But we can only perceive this true nature in ourselves, for as a rule we choose a partner who stands for the unconscious part of our psyche.  If this part of our personality is made conscious, we cease to impute our own faults to our partner; in other words, the projection is withdrawn. We recover the psychic energy that was bound up in the projection and are able to put it to work for the benefit of our own ego.”   JACOBI

[Lanzo]

I'm not kidding, (and Snowdrop will back me up ) I read and I think I've got it sussed then I read something like this then my head feels like its on the point of exploding

For we are at the mercy of a contra-sexual partner, unprepared for the surprises he has in store, only so long as we have not recognized his true nature.  But we can only perceive this true nature in ourselves, for as a rule we choose a partner who stands for the unconscious part of our psyche.

Albatross,

All good info please keep it coming


Lanzo

[Albatross]

"The individual’s specious unity that emphatically says “I want, I think” breaks down under the impact of the unconscious.  So long as the patient can think that somebody else (his father or mother) is responsible for his difficulties, he can save some semblance of unity (putater unus esse!).  But once he realizes that he himself has a shadow, that his enemy is in his own heart, then the conflict begins and one becomes two. Since the “other” will eventually prove to be yet another duality, a compound of opposites, the ego soon becomes a shuttlecock tossed between a multitude of “velleties,” with the result that there is an “obfuscation of the light,” i.e., consciousness is depotentiated and the patient is at a loss to know where his personality begins or ends. TPofT 34"

Good Lord ! Until one project of course unconsciously shadow on parents he can save own unity as person. Means one blame one or both parents for his own difficulties in life.

That it is, FOO issues... Until mid age obviously people blame own parents because of their own misery and when they become eventually aware of own shadow withdrawing of projection begins.

[Searching4Answers]

I'm curious to know what you guys think about this:

Recently, H has decided to get rid of all of his 'adult' magazines. He has had these magazines since he was a teenager/young adult. I don't think that he has looked at these in at least 15 years. Do you guys think that there is any significance in his doing this?