[toughtimes]

Attaching too.
Toughtimes, I am doing the same as you, I have doubted this MLC for too long and have now finally admitted it is that, after Albatross, Stayed, SongAndDance and many others have pointed it out to me over and over again, based on what I post. My h is doing the same, totally normal, functioning perfectly well, very calm, happy, assured of what he is doing, in contact with the children. OW? Don't know where that's at, at the moment.
I was the biggest doubter and now, I read and read and read, REPLAY and the articles. And more and more makes sense. It's just impossibly hard when it feels like a normal breakup, doesn't it?.
Possibly with detachment well and truly in place, one can see the MLC behaviour more clearly, as when (as I have been) you are totally consumed and engulfed by it and cannot make sense of it, your rational brain is kicking against the impossible and you cannot see, or cannot believe it is that and happening to you. I am accepting now! I've had enough proof sent my way. Now I am finally able to sit back and watch. And curious as to what will happen next. Not trying to preach, I assure you, this is the biggest messed up LBS writing!

Yep, you could be talking about me! I will go and check out your thread xx

[toughtimes]

LIMINALITY - POSSIBLE ESCAPE AND AVOID

3. Activation of unconscious contents (fantasies, complexes,
archetypal images, inferior function, opposite attitude,
shadow, anima/animus, etc.). Compensation. - POSSIBLE REPLAY !  - MERGER WITH SHADOW BEGINS

4. Symptoms of neurosis (confusion, fear, anxiety, guilt, moods, extreme affect, etc.). - DEEPER FOG !

5. Unconscious or half-conscious conflict between ego and contents activated in the unconscious.
Inner tension. Defensive reactions.

6. Activation of the transcendent function, involving the self and archetypal patterns of wholeness.

7. Formation of symbols (numinosity, synchronicity).

8. Transfer of energy between unconscious contents and consciousness. Enlargement of the ego,
progression of energy. POSSIBLE ACTING OUT - HIGH ENERGY REPLAY - BOMB DROP !

9. Assimilation of unconscious contents.

So is this where we are at with out MLCers in Replay? And this can last 2-7 years? I'm 19 months in and H has shown high energy, angry, blaming, grandiose behaviour for the first 8 months. Then, I think he felt very depressed for a few months, he wanted out of his business, it was making him "ill" as he couldn't switch off. He pushed for mediation around that time. Right now he is fine and dandy.

What I am trying to find evidence of at the moment is a depression. Last week my H sent me an angry email telling me I am leaving him no option but to petition for D because my lawyer hasn't responded to his letter. I told H that in the light of his email my lawyer is redrafting his letter and he will hear from him shortly. H replied, thank you for letting me know. This week H is enthusiastically setting out plans for christmas. They involve him being here christmas eve, christmas day and lunchtime boxing day. So he is coming across as very cool, calm and collected. Not confused and unsure about things.

I wish I had a secret agent who could fill me in on how he is the rest of the time!!!

[PatienceGalore]

TT, you have just put my H down on your post. No anger or D yet but mention of mediation!!! And the fun goes on and on!!! I see no signs if anything except someone perfectly content and assured of his decision to leave

[BB64]

TT, you have just put my H down on your post. No anger or D yet but mention of mediation!!! And the fun goes on and on!!! I see no signs if anything except someone perfectly content and assured of his decision to leave

Look at 7t this way then.....No sign of strong emotions? Not normal!

[toughtimes]

Sorry sbout that yellow in my last post, I thought I did it blue.

[twilightzone]

TT

I highlighted it with my mouse and then I could read it.

[Anjae]

Sorry sbout that yellow in my last post, I thought I did it blue.

Blue it is.  and, you know TT, it can even last for more than 7 years. and just the Replay part. How do I know? I have an MLCer that has been in Replay for more than 7 years. 

[PatienceGalore]

TT, you have just put my H down on your post. No anger or D yet but mention of mediation!!! And the fun goes on and on!!! I see no signs if anything except someone perfectly content and assured of his decision to leave

Look at 7t this way then.....No sign of strong emotions? Not normal!

Booboo, it's correct, I never see strong emotions, I'm the one who freaked out, cried, begged, pleased, promised, got angry, you name it, I did it, and all he says: I don't want to, I can't. Let me go.
I have actually been completely stunned when after I have completely broken down in front of him, he just gets up and leave. He might say he is sorry for the pain, but remorse is not there, and I know that if I was causing this much pain to another human being, especially one I've been with for over 20 years, I could NEVER walk away not knowing they were OK, OK to drive home, etc...he NEVER EVER rang after we parted badly to ensure I was OK and calmed and safe...unbelievable really.

[Snowdrop]

PG - they are just void of all emotions, and feel dead about anything and everything that once mattered

[PatienceGalore]

Emotions about children is there though. Maybe not true emotions, but acted out of guilt? Even if he knows about their pain, he doesn't know how to make it etter and def doesn't do anything, except meet them for a bit and talk about anything except this!
And lots of emotions for OW!!! I suppose she qualifies as a new thing, doesn't she?