[Ibelieve]

I watched it, It was like watching myself and my H. That is our story almost to the T.  But not the part where H is begging me to come back. Mine wants
to come back, but he is not falling all over me, and saying all the love stuff, like that guy. But the girl IS me. Even the dating part after about a year, and meeting
another guy. But I stopped seeing the other guy when H and I decided to try and make it work. And like her, I am still mad and it's been hard to forgive H.

I really liked the show, and got some things out of it, mostly because it was so close to my situation right now. I liked the outcome also.
Dr Phil says the H needs some specialized therapy and needs to go on his own. I would love if my H would do that. I don't know if he would.

I want him to watch the show. You think that is a good idea? If I could get him to do it. He still does not think he is going through midlife crises.

[DancingInTheRain]

I watched snippets of the show from Dr. Phil's web page. I wonder if he was really out of his MLC in 10 months. Isn't it possible that he was in MLC for much longer but led a secretive life that the wife didn't know about until BD? Can BD ever be far into the crisis? I think I've read that BD is usually about 1/2 way thru the crisis. If that's the case, I'm  stepping back because my H seemed like he started a MLC, told me he didn't know if he wanted to stay married but wanted to stay together until our boys graduated-which would have been for 4 1/2 more years. I said, no way. I won't live in a loveless marriage so we would need a divorce. He seemed to "snap out of it" only for it to return 3 years later with a vengence. He's been gone for 1 1/2 years and monstering a lot since OW's divorce was final 2 months ago.

[stayed]

Interesting DancingInTheRain, my h's crisis, we have decided, looking backwards,started in 1997.  It was a slow, insidious process.  Days where the entire family walked on eggshells, then long intervals where everything was fine.  Over the years, it reversed to where more days of walking on eggshells, as opposed to not.  An unpleasant, unpredictable time. 

Against my wishes my h took his present job, overseas, in 2002 I think, hehehe.  We had 2 years of incredible fun. Almost like a long, long honeymoon.  Lovely vacations, romantic dinners, probably had more (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) then we had throughout our marriage.  I honestly was having a BLAST and I thought he was as well.  It was so good, there were a group of us ladies that were talking of writing about about how "LIFE BEGINS AT 50".  Thought I had died and gone to heavy, can't remember a time where I felt more love for my h. 

Our two oldest announced their plans to marry, in late summer 2004 and both married that same year, and wham... our lives fell apart. 

Where am I going with this?  I guess I am trying to figure out when the actual BD happens.  From 97-02, I do not think my h had any "liaisons", at least not that he has ever admitted to.  Then in 2004 right smack in between the two marriages... September and December, he worked late and coming out of a meeting this woman asked if he would "like a drink at her house"... and our lives were turned upside down.  He remained with her, until 2006.  He asked me to return.  I did so.  I think I can safely say, that he was a good 2 years after my return before he was completely out of his crisis (2008).  It took me probably 2 more years to totally grasp that he was out and was home to stay.  I guess, you could say, BD is about dead center... goodness, my h will be so upset that he is NOT original, hehehe! 

Dr. Phil is TV DRAMA.  I very much doubt that man is out of his crisis... or if he is, he was in it for a good number of years prior.  I do believe that many men and women, begin the crisis, then somehow hold themselves together long enough to do whatever it was that they felt NEEDED to be achieved first... and then return to it.  It certainly does seem that once started, it is not going to be finished until it has done the whole cycle...over and over again, it seems.

Take what you want from Dr. Phil, but I would not suggest you base any possible relevance to your own personal life and your spouses crisis. 

Hugs Stayed

[limitless]

I watched the show. 

I don't know.  It is television.  It was scripted.  So many times when the woman was speaking, it looked like she was reading from a teleprompter.

Is the man still in crisis?  I don't know.  The look on his face certainly didn't look like a person who was remorseful.

As for the wife.  Hmmmmm.  10 months and she goes out with a person from a dating website (2nd person that she had met) and the date lasts a week?  She had been married for 30+ years.  It sounded like her H had been the only man in her life.  And she can go off for a week with a stranger.  And this new man is so important to her now that she is struggling to choose between the two?

To use a British term - "rubbish."

I have zero interest to see a follow up show on what happens next.

Was it MLC?  I doubt it.  Just a cheating husband who got caught and an angry wife who wants to get even.

L

[stayed]

lol limitless, that made me laugh.  Your comment... "it is television"!  Says it all.

Hugs Stayed

[rover77]

read this carefully..what do you think?
Living Alone After Divorce Can feel Like Liberation…but
‘Like a pit pony breathing fresh air for the first time after years underground — that’s how I felt when I started living alone after 20 years of marriage and bringing up two sons. ’
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2168926/Living-divorce-feel-like-liberation-But-trust-turns-aching-loneliness.html


Filed under: Children And Divorce,Divorce And Society,No Fault Divorce Around The World — familyinnocence @ 8:13 pm Edit This

The loneliness and endless regret of being a divorced grandmother

 
‘The fact is, I am a prime example of that discomforting modern phenomenon: the divorced grandparent.”
Rover’s thoughts: First..this is the second article I have posted  by this author..the first was about her loneliness after divorce..now this one is her regrets about divorce and how it effects her grandkids..neither time is there any concern for her spouse or her her children..And second..there  will be  many of these scenarios..sad regardless of the ‘why’..even if it took her a long time to figure it out

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2386393/LIZ-HODGKINSON-The-loneliness-endless-regret-divorced-grandmother.html
 

[kikki]

Thanks for posting Rover.
Reading between the lines, don't you think that it's actually all still about her?  What she is missing out on - what she isn't getting from her Grandchildren, because they are at their other grandparent's houses filled with love and home baking and security and comfy sofas.

[rover77]

yep..i think it is very much about her..reading carefully..it was her divorce..and now its payday

[leemo2000]

Australian Viewers - Dr. Phil Midlife Crisis edition is on today Channel 10

[Stillpraying]

  I'm at the Dr's with Dr. ..
Perhaps you can give us a review?