[NinjaGirl]

Hello again lovelies.

I was curious if people could tell me what their MLCers personality type is/was before they hit the MLC.  I am really curious if there is a certain personality type that this affects more then others.

My MLCer was introverted, didn't have any real hobbies, not very active, not a lot of friends, climbs the corporate ladder, always helping other people out (co-dependency tendencies), doesn't express much emotions.  We have no children. 

He just suddenly decided that we were just friends because our marriage was about me and not about us.  But of course when I asked, well what activities did you want to do, I get the angry "I don't know, why do you always put so much pressure on me?"

Just curious.  What was your MLC's personality type?  Wondering if this happens to more introverted folks...

[xyzcf]

My H is introverted, has a few good friends (but only 1 or 2), was social but I usually arranged activites and introduced him to people I met (other than he went out a lot on business dinners), he was not physically active (overweight), is an only child and is comfortable being alone, did not express his emotions, joked alot when I tried to have any "serious" conversations, has excelled in his company way beyond his wildest dreams but  he doesn't really believe in himself, liked to watch football , play solitare on the computer and played a bit of golf and we have one child but he would have been just as happy without any.

[rediscover]

My H is extremely outgoing. Lots of friends, well respected at work. Always the life of the party. Loves to watch sports on tv.  Golfs all the time , rides dirtbikes and used to ride streetbikes on the track for fun. Very adventurous. Snowboards, skis and skateboards too.   

[Still]

Pre-MLC my H was an extrovert. He has led numerous local/state/national committees, was a published writer, was a textbook editor, ran for political office, and has competed in marathons/triathlons/extreme sports. He was an overachiever in every area of his life. He loved his family deeply and made that very clear. He knew people every where we went and made friends for life. I was always the cheerleader in the background.

Now, the phone that used to ring off the hook, doesn't have too many calls coming in for him. He is just on a different planet these days. 

[JustFine&Dandy]

My H was an extrovert pre-MLC.  Always with friends and always the life of every party.  No matter what setting he was is, he always found a way to fit in and find something in common with others.

Now, he has isolated himself from most of his friends.  He has always been somewhat of a people pleaser, so I think he is withdrawing from a lot of people out of guilt and shame.  He drinks alone nearly every night in the garage.  OW and one or two other friends (who accept what he is doing) seem to be the only ones H engages with these days...

[In this for ME]

Mine has hardly any..well actually.. no friends except maybe one but has not been in contact with him. Never wanted me to have friends in our early years but I fought tooth and nail to have them.

Can be extemely charming in a social setting.

A ton of hobbies but no focus. Very intelligent. Can do almost anything he sets his mind to.

Very non-conformist and somewhat anti-establisment. A bit of a dreamer.

[OliveOyl]

My H was outgoing and friendly.  Had 1 really close friend and many other people he did things with.  He was active outdoors, active in his work.  Communicating and articulating his feelings with me has always been an issue.  Avoiding conflict about "us" was how he coped with our issues.  Sweeping his feelings under the rug so he didn't have to deal with them was how he coped.

[Glimmer]

My H was also outgoing and friendly. The type of person everyone liked, and gravitated towards. Never had a social life on his own, we tended to do things with other friends with families. We used to enjoy each others company in the evening when he wasn't working.

He never liked conflict, and would walk away rather than face an argument.  Was very close to his family, was reliable and responsible, and always put me first.

[MelanieB]

My ex-H was a classic passive aggressive, the avoidant type.  It is a learned behavior form childhood, and the P-A runs away from his problems, takes little to no accountability for his mistakes, would die before he would issue an apology, and the best part fo P-A sort is that he does little nasty behind-your-back or careless thoughtless things to you to provoke your anger and then calls you an irrational b*tch when you lose it because he **forgot** to pick the kids up, or he **forgot** to stop and buy dinner on the way home.  Anyway those sorts of guys get hit hard with MLC presumably since they put more effort into their resistance (which is the behind-your-back stuff) and very little into understanding themselves or what role they play in their life's relationships.  They also tend to have fewer friends and I guess this also makes them sitting ducks for MLC.

[forthetrees]

Wow, my H is an introverted, helper type, very bright, avoids conflict- obviously to the point of an MLC crisis, adores dogs, had a group of buddies in elementary through high school but in adulthood has had few friends. Used to only call his parents if I encouraged him to- since June 09 has called them every day, sometimes multiple times per day. H is addicted to economic and political news- took the economic melt down personally. Can be addicted to computer games and collecting things- started collecting state quarter sets for unborn nieces and nephews and I´m talking multiple sets- approx. 30. Never disagrees with his parents to their face. Has done passive agressive things for years- I read the position of the toilet seat as a barometer of his contentment with me- pretty ridiculous I know, BUT accurate. Go ahead, you can chuckle on my account:)