[Has your MLC'er filed for divorce?]

Has your MLC'er filed for divorce?

No, still living at home.

3 (7.5%)

No, but has threatened (living at home).

4 (10%)

No, but we are separated.

14 (35%)

Yes, paperwork is in process.

11 (27.5%)

We are divorced.

8 (20%)

Total Members Voted: 40

[OldPilot]

I am bumping this thread up, it is from 6 months ago.

Re-reading it is interesting how much has changed since this thread.

My wife filed 30 days after this thread ended, STILL's H has moved out and has yet to file.

CW, H is threatening to come home.

I couldn't have predicted any of that at the time of the thread.

I wonder what I won't be able to predict in another 6 months.

When I say have NO EXPECTATIONS, this thread is a huge example of why I say that.

[readytofixmyselffirst]

Five months later, my w is still at home. She still studies and she still is online with OM. It is like a never ending nightmare. Just one day running into the next. I remember back in June, I thought she would have divorced me by now. She kept saying she needed more time. Who knows , she could file tomorrow. It would be interesting to start the poll all over again and get more participation. See if things are getting better or worse.

[good4me]

My H moved out January 17 2011 saying he just wanted a separation not a divorce. He has threatened to call a lawyer whenever he doesn't like my tone of voice  Sounds crazy doesn't it ? This was after I found out he had taken our tax refund. That was March 9th the last time we spoke on the phone.

[Dontgiveup]

I have been divorced for almost a year now.  Time flies.  MLC doesn't.

Since the divorce, my ex-wife is in regular contact with me....and there has been touch and goes.  I guess if I summed up my persective about this divorce, I would have to say it has seemed clear to me that it did not happen as the result of marriage issues.

As I have said before, I believe the MLC process will trump marital status.  Whether the MLCer stays home, separates, or divorces they are moving away from the spouse emotionally.  I do believe that changes, and the MLCer then becomes the pursuer, but it takes time....lots of time.

[In this for ME]

I'm pretty sure the neighbors across the street from ExH got a D because she was having a MLC.

Two young sons that live with thier father. She married this disgusting guy- and I mean disgusting.  I heard him out on the front lawn once use a term of endearment for her- ready for this? he calls her  scumbag,

She kicked him out a few months ago. They were married a couple of years.

Saw her at a store a few weeks ago. Little pigtails on her head Hair dyed purple -the woman is a REGISTERED NURSE!!

D18 said Guess who's car has been in the driveway lately? That's right her ExH.  Can anybody tell me what the heck is going on??!! WHY do they feel they need to get a divorce to have a life???

The LAST thing I wanted when I was in my deprssions was to be WITHOUT someone. I NEEDED someone. I would have never survived a divorce during a depression!!

[growing every day]

In September 2010 H said he wanted a divorce ( after I found out about his affairs in 2009) cuz he didn't love me anymore, hadn't loved me for many years, couldn't get the feeling back etc. etc. etc. It is now April... nothing has changed. Except that I continue to be amazed at the strength I have, even when I don't know it. And another plus... I've met some pretty incredible people here!

[xyzcf]

I filed for a legal separation Sept 10, 2010 which he agreed to..I had asked my lawyer to proceed slowly which she has done but there are some dates that things must be done by. We have a mediation date set for May 24 and he's done everything re: supplying all his financial stuff and comments from his lawyer are along the lines of "let's get this done already!"

I still pray that it will  not get to that but only he can stop it and that would mean coming out of his tunnel and realising what a mess this all is...so far, haven't seen that side of him yet and it's probably not been long enough (sigh).

I have DGU though cheering me on, assuring me that it doesn't matter......and since I just heard of another women whose husband left her in terrible debt and with no money....if this has to happen then so be it...but I'd still like to request prayers that he may turn a corner before then please.

[Mamma Bear]

 My H was mad at his brother for saying he needed a lawyer after what he did to us. He got mad. "No lawyers. We can take care of this ourselves."     OK? Sure sounds good to me but what do I know?
 Also mad I told his brother anything. "Why are you telling everyone?"
 What? That you pushed me aside on a street near our kids school and ran into the night for 6 weeks? And now live with OW I mean "you're real friend"
 Now clingy boomerang. Calling to chat coming over to see kids and tell me how Good I look. Super.
   M50
   H 51
   D 9 and 11
   M 10 years
   BD 2-14-11

[Dontgiveup]

xyzcf

I think the big thing here is financial protection.  That's a decision that each LBS has to make independently, and one that each LBS has their own reasons for.  I did not feel a need to protect myself in that way from my MLCer.....and we still have some common assets.  Perhaps it will come back to bite me, but I rarely even think about that possibility.

I do not think marital status matters much during MLC....and I am definitely pro-marriage.  I know that no matter what the marital status is, the MLCer consider themselves single.  What they don't realize is that the inability to maintain a relationship is because of them, but it's something they do seem to realize to be true after a (long) period of time.

[covenantkeeper]

My husband dropped our divorce on January 27, 2011 because I didn't have an attorney. And that was because he was only giving me $400.00 a month. Our house was foreclosed on and we had to move out on Nov. 19th....which is when I moved in with my h in his apartment. He told me leaving the courtroom that day that he would file again.

And file he did. Our final divorce date is now set for September 20, 2011. Three days after our 34th wedding anniversary.

The temporary spousal support orders came through this week. Although, h has yet to hear this from his own attorney. And he does not want to look at it online nor have me tell him. You know.....avoid and deny.

The problem is that he was ordered to give me a much larger sum of money than I know he ever imagined! And I have an apartment waiting for me and my daughter to move into on May 1st. But, that can only happen if he does in fact, pay me that spousal support.

This MLC craziness just doesn't stop!