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Poll

Has your MLC'er filed for divorce?

No, still living at home.
3 (7.5%)
No, but has threatened (living at home).
4 (10%)
No, but we are separated.
14 (35%)
Yes, paperwork is in process.
11 (27.5%)
We are divorced.
8 (20%)

Total Members Voted: 40

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Author Topic: MLC Monster Divorce Poll

M
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MLC Monster Re: Divorce Poll
#60: April 24, 2011, 07:51:03 PM
 It all seems so calculating and cruel but it's happenstance of their confusion and sadness.  That's probably why it hurts us so much. We really do have all the power if you think about it.  Women and children foreclosed on.....devastating stuff.. They are "blind to the destruction" really puts it best.
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Re: Divorce Poll
#61: April 25, 2011, 12:38:53 AM
Thought it would be a good idea to run this poll again and compare the variations from the results from 6 months ago.

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« Last Edit: April 25, 2011, 06:18:57 AM by justasking »
M67  H59  T20  M19
D29  D27
Bomb Drop 10/09     Left home 11/09
Back Home 01/22


Glimmer - To shine with a faint light
A vague understanding, A remote possiblilty of hope.
I
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Re: Divorce Poll
#62: April 25, 2011, 04:31:10 AM
I thought about the day in Sept when the divorce papers came in the mail.

I got home -didn't even open them up -just opened up the closet door used two fingers to take them out of my purse and threw them in the closet and slammed the door!

I haven't looked for them since.

Told him the other day he could make me sign wheelbarrows FULL of them -didn't make any differance to me.
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Is it ego or spirit that governs us to question the answers; or answer the questions?
S
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Re: Divorce Poll
#63: April 25, 2011, 05:11:15 AM
Great bump, OP.

Quote
STILL's H has moved out and has yet to file.

Yes, but he "thinks" he filed.
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H43, M44
M 22 years
T  23 years
3 Kids
Crisis began 4/08
Divorced 2/13
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Re: Divorce Poll
#64: April 25, 2011, 05:21:48 AM
Quote from: Still on April 25, 2011, 05:11:15 AM
Quote
STILL's H has moved out and has yet to file.

Yes, but he "thinks" he filed.

MLC = CONFUSION.

At least you know that he is in MLC.
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I
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Re: Divorce Poll
#65: April 25, 2011, 05:23:41 AM
I was going to say- Doesn't he KNOW if he filed???  :o
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Is it ego or spirit that governs us to question the answers; or answer the questions?
S
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Re: Divorce Poll
#66: April 25, 2011, 05:35:01 AM
Quote
I was going to say- Doesn't he KNOW if he filed??? 

Well, he used an Internet site. The lawyer filed in the wrong county, used documents that were a combination divorce petition/summary of procedure which is not legitimate, and I refused to sign. He has to formally "serve" me in order for any action to be initiated. Of course, now that he has moved out, it will start the 2-year separation clause.
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H43, M44
M 22 years
T  23 years
3 Kids
Crisis began 4/08
Divorced 2/13
u
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Re: Divorce Poll
#67: April 25, 2011, 06:38:55 AM
I don't really fit in one of the categories.
H has threatened D several times.  Although at one point he had the papers filled out, he never served me with them.  Finally at 2 years I believed he was going to do it and filed myself, but there has been no action since and he has not threatened again, although he has left again.
If we do the poll again, I would suggest something like the following categories: 
No talk of D
States he doesn't want a D
Threatens D with no action so far
Filed for D with no further action
Divorce in progress
Divorced
LBS initiated legal proceedings
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S
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Re: Divorce Poll
#68: April 25, 2011, 07:30:07 AM
5 months in and I don't really fit these categories either. H wants a D, but we need to both consent. He has spoken several times with a lawyer and keeps talking about when the D is finalised, but so far we have not been to court/seen a solicitor or do anything other than sort out finances. We may be divorced before the year is out though,as it is a complicated situation with multiple jurisdictions and I don't want to get into an even bigger conflict. I guess I am not a patient or forgiving person, but I am fairly sure I don't want him back for several reasons. 1. He absconded when we have very young children leaving me with sole responsibility for raising them and the need to get a full-time job asap - he is oblivious to how destructive his choice has been to our young son and has tried to "blame" our six-year old for his own inability to parent. 2. I have lost all respect for him. 3. I could not risk the further damage it could do to my children to accept him back only for him to go off again on them (even if I take my own personal feelings out of it). 4. I have not lost faith in marriage, but I have lost faith in my husband as a person. I feel like I may have married and dedicated the first half of my adult life to a very selfish, self-absorbed and conceited person, who now has also demonstrated his dishonesty, his cowardice and his lack of real character. He was totally on board with me giving up my career to move around with him and have the now abandoned children, and then he walked away from me as if my personal support meant nothing.

I know it does not make me a big person, but I just don't want that mess of a soul in close proximity to my life EVER again. I do hope for the sake of my children that he does come out of MLC, owns what he has done and tries to make amends. But I have my doubts about whether that is on the cards.... Wow, didn't mean to write so much, sorry for the hijack!
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It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good


Nina Simone
n
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Re: Divorce Poll
#69: April 25, 2011, 08:22:19 AM
I completely understand how you feel, the depths of trying to understand how a person can walk away and turn their children's lives upside down, and truly not see the dispair and damage is too too deep for me to understand.

Hugs

Niff Naff
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