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Poll

What What is the status of your wedding ring?

Still wear your wedding ring
42 (35.3%)
If not is it on a necklace, other hand or something
6 (5%)
Have it safely tucked away
60 (50.4%)
Gave it back
7 (5.9%)
Never had one never needed one
4 (3.4%)

Total Members Voted: 118

Author Topic: Discussion Wedding Rings - - Ring or no Ring

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Discussion Re: Wedding Rings
#140: December 05, 2012, 08:35:08 AM
Interestingly, I have already posted here saying that I kept mine on...
In June, h. told me that he didn't see why I was wearing it and that it was disrespectful to him! I was hurt and offended. I thought more about it as time went on and I have seen h. twice or maybe three times since and have always been wearing it. In September, I thought about submitting to his wishes and I bought a simple silver band that I had engraved on the inside with the words 'Soli Deo Gloria'.
On October 6th (my FIL's 30th anniversary of death), I removed my wedding band and put it away and I now wear this band on my wedding finger, along with another ring that h. gave me many years ago.
Like MF, I wear all the jewellery h. gave me over the years with no problems, it was just the wedding ring that was rankling him and I made the substitution - the kids asked and I told them it was a 'commitment' ring, they didn't ask any more, neither did I explain what the commitment meant.

I haven't seen h. since and I don't think the kids have said anything either ::)

H. never wore a wedding ring. I wonder if he will wear one now ???
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Re: Wedding Rings
#141: December 05, 2012, 08:49:33 AM
 
Quote
In June, h. told me that he didn't see why I was wearing it and that it was disrespectful to him
Give me a break! Only an MLC'r would come up with this kind of logic!
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n
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Re: Wedding Rings
#142: December 05, 2012, 09:18:37 AM
Ha. Mine took his off the day of BD in August.    I still wear mine - his crisis is not going to change who I am/was.  I won't be ready to take it off for a while I have a feeling.  :(
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Re: Wedding Rings
#143: December 06, 2012, 11:06:04 AM
I took mine off after a few weeks after my Oct 2011 BD. I put it in a little pocket in my purse and it stayed there for a few months until I put it in a drawer.

This time I took it off straight away. I had two that he had bought me as new ones, fresh start and all that, but put them both in the bags of his stuff that he came to collect. I also put in a mug that he had made for me a few weeks before. Not sure what he did with them and don't really care.

My advice is to do what feels best for you. I know that I never wanted to wear them again but also couldn't stand to throw them away so gave them to him to do whatever. They were not worth anything or I would have sold them and bought some new shoes  ;)
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Re: Wedding Rings
#144: December 06, 2012, 11:20:40 AM
They were not worth anything or I would have sold them and bought some new shoes  ;)
You go girl. :)

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C
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Re: Wedding Rings
#145: June 29, 2013, 07:53:38 AM
Interestingly, I have already posted here saying that I kept mine on...
In June, h. told me that he didn't see why I was wearing it and that it was disrespectful to him! I was hurt and offended. I thought more about it as time went on and I have seen h. twice or maybe three times since and have always been wearing it. In September, I thought about submitting to his wishes and I bought a simple silver band that I had engraved on the inside with the words 'Soli Deo Gloria'.
On October 6th (my FIL's 30th anniversary of death), I removed my wedding band and put it away and I now wear this band on my wedding finger, along with another ring that h. gave me many years ago.
Like MF, I wear all the jewellery h. gave me over the years with no problems, it was just the wedding ring that was rankling him and I made the substitution - the kids asked and I told them it was a 'commitment' ring, they didn't ask any more, neither did I explain what the commitment meant.

I haven't seen h. since and I don't think the kids have said anything either ::)

H. never wore a wedding ring. I wonder if he will wear one now ???

Yah, i think he also doesn't wear that ring..
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f
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Re: Wedding Rings
#146: June 29, 2013, 03:09:38 PM
Just saw this thread. I don't know if you read my post, but my wedding ring has had a very interesting journey. H lost his several years before BD while working on the farm. He never tried to replace it and I never really thought too much of it as where I come from, it wasn't really a tradition for men to wear wedding rings anyway and I thought that H probably thought the same thing too and didn't place much importance in it. In retrospect, I'm beginning to think there may have been much more to it. But that's just conjecture on my part.
 My wedding ring had a much more exciting time! When H told me about OW1, I took it off and gave it back to him, saying that he could give it back when he was ready to be married again. He framed it ??? Crazy huh? I then took it back but didn't put it on except for  at my mother's funeral. It's now buried under a beautiful plant in a beautiful pot which belonged to my Mum.
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Re: Wedding Rings
#147: June 29, 2013, 05:33:16 PM
This is quite an interesting topic.  I threw my rings at H at BD, but he picked them up and gave them back to me and I put them on.  My engagement ring was actually loose after that and I had to send it off to be repaired. I asked him if he wore his ring when he was with OW and he said of course--like I was ridiculous to ask him that.

Since I'm away for the summer, I left him a nasty voice mail one night and said I was taking off my rings since I assumed he wasn't wearing his anymore. I felt bad about it and sent him an email the next morning saying "I'm still wearing my rings and I hope you are still wearing yours."  He responded, "I only wear one ring."  Meaning his wedding band.  He may just be wearing it for show at work and around the kids, though.  Who knows?
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The very purpose of our life is happiness, which is sustained by hope. We have no guarantee about the future, but we exist in the hope of something better. Hope means keeping going, thinking, ‘I can do this.’ It brings inner strength, self-confidence, the ability to do what you do honestly, truthfully and transparently.  The Dalai Lama

r
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Re: Wedding Rings
#148: June 29, 2013, 05:55:08 PM
For a really long time we didn't wear rings. Way back when we were young we had to pawn them. With the job I have I can't wear a diamond. I would knock it right out of the setting.
When my H went to Iraq I told him I wanted to wear wedding bands again when he got back. He bought me a wedding band when he was there and sent it home before he came back. He even had it engraved with our name and wedding date. The year was wrong and I never told him.
I used to take my ring off at night because jewelry irritates my skin. I forgot to put it on one day and left it on my night stand.
Two of my sons exgf friends had come into our home when no one was here. I had left my digital camera out on my computer desk in the kitchen. When I came home that day it was gone. I went to find my wedding band and it was gone too.
I couldn't prove they had done it and later found out they liked to go to pawn shops and sell stolen stuff. By the time I found out anything it was too late.
How ironic,hey?
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Me 53
H (whatever he is) 55
D for financial reasons March 2012
Started seeing massive change over the summer 2012
Left end of October 2012
Started coming home thanksgiving 2013
Home now. March 2014
Believe ow is gone
Probably going through this for years
OW discovered Oct.23,2013,old GF from before we met at the age of 16!
Left again Oct. 20 2015
Came back two weeks later
Still here 01/17 not done yet
Home 2019,rebuilding

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Re: Wedding Rings
#149: June 29, 2013, 06:12:09 PM
When h asked me to marry him about 22 years ago, I said yes, but instead of a traditional ceremony, we went to the river, split up in search of the perfect stone, and then exchanged them, along with our vows.  From that moment, those vows were solid. 

When h met and married OW within a few weeks, wouldn't you know, he is now wearing one heck of a wedding ring, and is proud to show it off.  His first visit to us in almost a year consisted of him showing off his ring to our children and I, and talking about his new "soulmate" non-stop!  He took it off many times, inviting the children to take a closer look at it!!!! >:(

When I saw him the other day, for the third time in almost a year since he left, I found it quite nauseating to see it, so looked the other way.

That was one heck of a whirlwind romance, and she "invited" him on a trip to Mexico, and they became Mr. and Mrs. :'( what a beautiful story, pass the Kleenex! ;)

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