[What What is the status of your wedding ring?]

What What is the status of your wedding ring?

Still wear your wedding ring

42 (35.3%)

If not is it on a necklace, other hand or something

6 (5%)

Have it safely tucked away

60 (50.4%)

Gave it back

7 (5.9%)

Never had one never needed one

4 (3.4%)

Total Members Voted: 118

[IM AZ]

BD was back in July.   My W has since moved into the guest bedroom.  We do talk a little about her MLC, but not very much.  Several months ago she was not wearing her wedding ring and I asked why.  She said she was doing some work around the house and didn't want to mess it up.   But......  She has never put them back on (maybe because she has more of a sense of freedom without them).  Anyway, yesterday I was doing some work with Habitat for Humanity and took off my wedding ring.   

Should I put mine back on?

[Still]

Should I put mine back on?

My H took his off about six months after BD. I asked him why and he told me that it was a symbol to me that we were in a "bad place"....he later said that he was no longer committed or loyal to anyone, but our children.

Honestly, I think it was more about looking "free" than anything.

I, on the other hand, have never taken my ring off. I do believe it causes him irritation to see me continue to wear it.

[OldPilot]

Should I put mine back on?

What do you want?
To wear it or not?
To be married or not?

I wear mine because it symbolizes my commitment to my marraige to ME.
Not because I care what my wife thinks or does.

I can not control that.
That is HER choice!

SO whatever you decide do it for YOU!

[Dontgiveup]

I agree that you should do what you want to do.  I chose to take mine off to take the pressure off my MLCer.  The MLCer is under extreme stress, pressure, and anxiety.....and has tremendous doubts.

The article on Pursuing and Distancing by RCR is excellent.....and seemingly accurate.  My friend's ex-wife is pursuing him now after about two years.  He took his ring off long ago.  I would not say my ex-wife is pursuing me at this time, but she has (at least so far) been a boomeranger....and I have not been wearing my ring.

[rediscover]

I am also not sure what to do about my ring.  We never had rings when we were married and for our 10 year anniversary in Dec 2009 my H bought me a ring.  He does not have a ring, but for both of us it was never something we needed.  The night I found out about EA with OW I took my ring off because I was completely devastated, but when he said he wanted to be with me and we would work on the marriage I put it back on. 
I took it off again just before he moved out because everyday for three weeks he would say he wasn't sure if he was staying or if he was leaving.  I gave it to him and said when he decided he could put it back on my finger.
After he moved out I found it in the drawer of his bedside table.  I put it back in the box it came in and it's in my safe.
Part of me wants to put it on, but part of me wants him to do it.

[whatever]

I'm so glad someone started this discussion. When H and I were first separated he wore his ring by my request...well at least while he was home on the weekend.  Anyway.  The last weekend he was home he was working on S17 car and took it off never to put it back on.  This is something I'm really struggling with ...mainly because I don't know yet if I am really committed to standing or not.  I'm currently not wearing my wedding but only took it off two days ago.  Rediscover - I'm with you ...I told him i wanted him to put it back on my finger when he decided he wants me...but now i'm sure when that happens I want a new ring.  Besides. Now I'm living 'as if' he has an equal chance as anyone else to put it on my finger...I have to give him that impression anyways right?

[Hopeful]

My wife took her ring off immediately after she left the boys and me.  I kept mine on for about 6 months or so.  When I finally realized that my commitment to the marriage made no difference to her, I took it off.  I have my ring sitting up on my bureau in the bed room.  My wife had it inscribed before she gave it to me with our wedding date, and with our initials.  The ring is very special to me, and it always will be special to me.  If she ever comes out of her messed up world, and decides to try and put our relationship together again, we will have to work together to rebuild that relationship.   Our past relationship and marriage are over.  Whatever happens in the future will be new.  If we are able to rebuild our relationship, it is my hope that we will be able to exchange our rings once again, to symbolize our renewed commitment to each other.  That is a long ways off though, and I can only hope for that outcome.

[limitless]

I took my ring off a week after he moved out.
I will not put it back on.....it is in my jewelry box.
It can stay there......until we both decide that we want to be married and we put it back on.
He never had a ring.....so no big deal to him.

[readytofixmyselffirst]

I have always worn my ring. She doesn't wear hers, but I would feel awkward without it on. I am still married and the ring shows my commitment to our marriage.

[Purple stain]

I'm with Ready. I took mine off for a day or two and it was a strange feeling. In the past, my h only wore his on occasions when we'd go out as a couple and I'd actually give it to him. For him, it has always been about the committment and not the ring. He does martial arts and he was worried he'd lose it at the gym when he took it off. I'm proud to be married and wear it as a sign of my committment and I feel a bit protected by it in this difficult time as Satan tried to tempt me a couple of times, unsuccessful though!