[CrazyStupidLove]

Question for anyone that celebrates and gives gifts during the holidays (ie; Christmas, Hanukkah, etc).

Will you be buying and giving a gift to the MLCer this year?

Will you be giving it as a gift from yourself, or if you have children will it be strictly from the children without your name on the gift?

Last year my MLCer went out and bought an expensive and nice camera for me. The year before that an IPad. He always spends a significant amount of money on me for Christmas. Since BD I have asked him not to buy anything for me, but he still does.

This year I feel like he is in a different place regarding gift giving. He completely ignored me on Thanksgiving. I don't see Christmas being any different. The other night I was in the mall and the question popped into my mind if I should get him anything this year. Last year I did get him something that I thought he could really use for his job and he loved it. 

I thought about giving the girls money and letting them pick out and buy their own gifts for their father this year.
I feel like, if we ever get back together, then that would be the appropriate time to giving each other gifts from the heart.

I'm just really confused on what to do. On one hand I also thought about giving him something from just myself...and maybe on Christmas Eve (if I even see him) just to let him know that I do care about him...but then everything I have read about detaching, says no gifts...ever...

So what are you all going to do?
CSL

[LoveMeMyself]

CSL,

     I am just passed year 3 of BD.  I ordered a gift to be delivered to my exH's home for the past 3 years...........nothing extremely expensive but just something to show him some kindness and that I'm still the same compassionate person regardless.  This year.........I am seriously leaning more on NOT doing anything.  I feel he needs to "feel" me pulling away.  I don't know if it will make one bit of difference or not. He hasn't acknowledge many Holiday's or Birthday's since he left so I figure I need to stop doing so myself.

    I'm interested to see what others share with you on this subject.

[eternallyoptimistic]

My h and I had stopped buying for each other the last couple of Christmas's...last year we kind of got each other a gift. This year I do plan on getting him a keurig coffee maker for his new apartment and I'm having a friend he grew up with make an art piece out of mason jars. This friend is very awesome with his designs and it is something my h would think is cool and it would be a sentimental piece as it is made by a friend of his. I don't expect anything...but I get very excited at giving during Christmas...I can't help it. 

[I believe in angels]

Since my h left aug 2010 he hasn't sent me a birthday card, Xmas card, mothers day card, birthday present or Xmas present, not even a text whatever to say happyxmas or happy birthday, not even anything from the boys via him. I have sent him via the boys birthday cards, Xmas cards, fathers day cards and presents and he has always only thanked his chdren them, even when he knows where they have come from. This year fir his birthday I just sent a card from the boys. This Xmas he will get nothing, why waste the little money I have on someone who cannot even have the decency to even send a card from the boys to me, I would rather spend the money on the children. It doesn't surprise me though as it was ways me who brought the cards etc fir everyone when we were together. One day he may surprise me! X

[Slow Fade]

This may sound trite, but my s9 told me that his D bought a necklace while they were together the other weekend. I'm pretty sure its not for me but for ow. I will give my h a 50.00 gift card for sure. If I get the necklace, I will give him the xbox that I bought. If there is no necklace, the xbox goes back to the store. This will be first Christmas since BD in April and he only moved out in November so not sure what will happen. 

I will still probably get him some small gifts from son.

[B]

For me no way!  No kids and after his insane Facebook rantings of how he's the "happiest he's ever been" in the past 2 weeks I am just not interested.  Maybe I can feel compassion at some point in the future but right here and now, no, he's not just hurting me but my entire family and friends.  His OW can tend to his needs right now, I am over it.

[honour]

So what are you all going to do?

I've delegated the gift buying and gift giving role to xW's new husband. Saves me a job. 

honour

[FindingJoJo]

I won be buying him anything.  I personally don't want to celebrate it at all I just want to enjoy my days off and pamper me. 

[misdiz]

My H's birthday was Nov 20th and the boys wanted to get him a gift and go out to dinner with him.  So we bought a football shirt for him.  He took the boys to dinner and when he dropped them off he was talking to me about the dinner like he would have talked to me prior to BD.  I was so confused that night.  Anyway, when he was leaving he never thanked me so I asked him if he liked it and he said yes and just walked away so I yelled back to him "your welcome".  I He then thanked me.  I also gave him a card from me that was provocative and funny.  He texted me hahaha perfect card, thanks.   For our anniversary in Aug. I gave him a card that was perfect.  He didn't want to accept that but I forced it and never got a response.  So for Christmas I plan on getting him something from the boys that they will pick out.  I don't expect anything from him but I WILL be the better one for the kids as I feel they need to give and not only receive.

[CrazyStupidLove]

This may sound trite, but my s9 told me that his D bought a necklace while they were together the other weekend. I'm pretty sure its not for me but for ow. I will give my h a 50.00 gift card for sure. If I get the necklace, I will give him the xbox that I bought. If there is no necklace, the xbox goes back to the store. This will be first Christmas since BD in April and he only moved out in November so not sure what will happen. 

I will still probably get him some small gifts from son.

SF,
Keep the X-box if you don't give it to him! They are so much fun! And they have a lot of games for adults that I think you would enjoy. One of the fun ones is the dance game that you now don't even have to hold onto any controller, it just "see's you" and your movements...it's pretty cool!