[in it]

Exactly you have every right to show them to your lawyers.. The gaslighting is the worst They get your head so messed up you can't think straight.

You do NOT have to put up with it OHM.

He's losing control and he knows that. That's why there's all this drama that surrounds them.
There doesn't have to be physical abuse but you need to be aware it can escalate into that. When they feel that cannot control the situation anymore they will try to control you.

You shut him down..no more responding to texts, phone calls, any attempt to contact or see you. I'll bring up the no contact thread. It's the only way to save your sanity.

[Anjae]

OHM and her husband have underaged children, In It. There has to be some contact, even if just about/for the kids.

Think you're nailed it, In It. When they start to lose control, be it of themselves or of us, the drama comes. Court is both drama, control and atatchment.

Mr J and his going to court was not that crazy in the amount of times, but who goes to divorce court twice when the court already told you you have no case? Who goes to higher court when court number two tells you you have no case because your case number two is like you case number one and no one can be taken to court twice for teh same reason, including when you had no case to start with?

Someone out of their mind, like a MLCer, who is desperate to cause drama and to control. Funny thing is that, Mr J never really made any effort to really divorce and settle. There would be the he wants to deal, and then he does not, or the totally unacceptable proposals.

Anything that would drag, cause drama and allow for a non settelement = Mr J parting with money and assets.

[OneHotMess]

It’s funny you said that about him trying to see me. He sent me a message today that he had new insurance cards. I told him to give them to the kids when he drops them off. He said “ not acceptable. I want to hand them to you.” I really only respond to his text if it has to do with the kids. His text messages start out about something I have to respond to and almost always ends up in monstering,bashing, or projections.

We would probably still be married if I didn’t force a hearing to get it done and over with. I definitely expect to possibly turn physical. I have told my attorney this and I think he probably agrees which is why he has told me to get this protective order ASAP.

[in it]

OHM
Tell him you do not want to see him and put the cards in the mail certified return receipt. If he does attempt to see you? You are calling the cops.

You gotta find something that scares the sh!t right out of them. From the looks of it court doesn't.

Get addresses changed on whatever you can so nothing else goes to him regarding anything to do with the kids.
Commnication can be made by email or text about the kids. Then you have proof of what he says.

[Anjae]

No, court doesn't scare certain type of MLCers.

“ not acceptable. I want to hand them to you.”

Heard the same from Mr J, about some stuff he wanted to handle me. I wanted him to leave it with MIL and SIL, then one of my brothers would pick it up. I had to told Mr J I didn't felt save meeting him.

Your husband does not live with you, does he OHM? Does he goes by the house? Maybe to pick and drop the kids?

[OneHotMess]

No, he does not live with me. Hasn’t for about a year and a half. He comes to the house to pick up the kids but is not allowed in the house and I stay inside. Same happens when I have to pick the kids up at his house. I will not even go to his door. He has some stuff here that he needs to pick up and I have A court order that the police or a neutral 3rd party needs to be present. The less control he has over me the worse he gets. Take the finalization of the divorce for example,  That was on Aug 9 but we found out over a week later. Since then he has had me in court every 2 weeks.

Everyone I know thinks I am crazy for worrying about him hurting me but I can’t help but to feel the next step is physical. He just keeps escalating to a new level.

[OneHotMess]

OHM
Tell him you do not want to see him and put the cards in the mail certified return receipt. If he does attempt to see you? You are calling the cops.

You gotta find something that scares the sh!t right out of them. From the looks of it court doesn't.

Get addresses changed on whatever you can so nothing else goes to him regarding anything to do with the kids.
Commnication can be made by email or text about the kids. Then you have proof of what he says.

I have had the rule about only corresponding via text from the beginning. I have only talked to him a couple of times in person and always resulted in him saying it didn’t happen. So now I stick to it no matter what.

I honestly think him losing control or contact with me  scares him. I noticed that when I blocked him a couple of times because of the monster. He came to the house to pick up the kids and didn’t understand why he couldn’t get ahold of me. He looked like he had lost his mind even more that day. My niece even commented on it. Soon the kids and I will be out of this house and I won’t have to have much to do with him at all. I do fear what will happen when the rest of the control he has is lost.

[in it]

Im sure losing contact with you does scare him but you cannot worry about him or about what other people think.
This is what he wanted regardless of who filed.
He doesnt get his cake and eat it too.

[in it]

Saw photos online of the little village where I'm from. Someone actually organized and a walk the other day of maybe 30 people carrying signs to raise awareness against Domestic Violence 

[Loyal]

I can only speak for my own MLCer as this is definitely the case but at the same time am convinced that substance abuse plays a very major role in the vast majority of cases where the MLCer has been physically abusive.
https://alorecovery.com/link-between-domestic-violence-drug-abuse/